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Google Buys electro-music.com
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mosc
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:46 pm    Post subject:  Google Buys electro-music.com Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, PhD
Google and electro-music.com today announced at a news conference in Sysma, Finland that Google will acquire electro-music.com for an undisclosed amount. Google has taken over other internet start ups in the past, including YouTube.com. Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, when contacted at a secret location near Soujärvi said, "We are every excited about this deal with electro-music.com, a site that is rapidly becoming the most significant internet property for forward looking music. The electro-music.com editorial board is among the most distinguished in the musical field. electro-music.com's recent entry into internet streaming has electrified the artistic world. Rock and Hip Hop are dead, electro-music is where it's at. Steve Jobs, eat your heart out." When asked if this acquisition would boost Google's slumping stock price, Schmidt just smiled and said, "Duh."

Mosc, editor-in-chief
Howard Moscovitz, AKA mosc, editor-in-chief of electro-music.com was more circumspect. "We are only in this for the money. Now's the time to get money from Google because Eric has been doing at Google about as well as he did with Sun and Novell. I don't think Google will have the cash for long. Our moto has always been, "Take what you can get when you can get it." We do, however, love Google's motto even more, "Do no evil." What's so impressive is the way they do no evil while exploiting copyrights and profiting from people's work without compensating them in any way."

Lutefisk
Moscovitz and the editors of electro-music.com are said to have agreed to stay on for a least the next two years at very significant salaries. One editor from Italy, is reported to have said, "This money will help us prepare for the 4th dimensional malevolent aliens who are in the process of subjugating Earthlings." Another editor from Norway said, "I look forward to showing Eric a good time next time he visits Norway. I'll get him the best Lutefisk he has ever had, and I'll show him my new dotcom rig." Yet another editor from The Netherlands said, "I told you years ago that this was going to happen. Google and Apple have been fighting to get control over the ChucK programming language. This is just one more step towards that goal. Schmidt blew it with Java, he's not going to let ChucK get away from him. "

In a public statement, Moscovitz told the members of electro-music.com, "Do not worry, Google's money will not change the site in any way, except for the personal information that will now be stored in Google's database. This is actually a good thing, fellow electro-musicans; the more Google knows about you, the better life becomes. Just bend over and learn to enjoy it."

April Fools...

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Last edited by mosc on Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rykhaard



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I am so happy that I bought electro-music.com stock when I did! I kept telling RF - "LOOK Bruce! EM is going to be HUGE! Even bigger than GM or something! You've GOT to buy stock too!"

And look - RF didn't buy any and LOOK WHERE I AM, NOW! Cool
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jksuperstar



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Wow! That Lutefisk really DOES look good!!
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RF



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Rats.

All my investment money went to GM...and Chrysler...
and AIG..and Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Bank of America
Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, PNC Financial Services, U.S. Bancorp, SunTrust, Capital One Financial Corp, Regions Financial Corp., Fifth Third Bancorp, BB&T, Bank of New York Mellon and KeyCorp...

I just didn't have enough left for E-M stock.

I'm all in for a plate of Lutefisk, though.....

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seraph
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Thanks Howard! Our brilliant CEO Exclamation We now own the secret weapon to subjugate the few remaining Earthlings Idea Let's get busy Cool
I knew all our sacrifices would, one day, pay off Exclamation Stock options galore Exclamation
salut thumleft thumright well done well-done Hail the Master banana beer wave wow!

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BobTheDog



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Did google get that hat in the deal as well Howard?
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v-un-v
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

You capitalist pigs!!! How dare you feed me Lutefisk while I'm asleep! Laughing
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:50 am    Post subject: April Fools!
Subject description: Dreaming the big dream.
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Happy April 1 everybody!

Cheers,

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RFBB



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Whaaaassssuuuup Money Mosc?! That's some funny shit man. Funny shit indeed.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

What? You mean it's not REAL? OMG!
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W.T.



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:34 am    Post subject:   Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

April Fools' Day i guess . . Rolling Eyes
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slepian



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:40 am    Post subject:  Electro-Giggle
Subject description: Stimulus to all Electro-Musicians
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Clearly the uncontrolled voltage is arcing across your rig, from module to module, formenting a major noodle in your noggin. So glad to be a part of this all. Howard, where is my BONUS? WHERE IS MY BONUS??? If Google is upoan us, if the government will loan us, where is my bonus?

Please hold a barbeque immediately and invite us all down. Time to celebrate!
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mtvic



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I guess this is the end of the electro-music festival for at least the next two years.
Damn I put all my money in Dr Enuf.
Laughing

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Airlock



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Best goof I've seen all day.
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velva



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

H-mo is a righteous dude.
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Acoustic Interloper



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Oh, goody. Now I've got my opportunity to be stepped on by another big company.

Well, not so big by the time I was stepped on. Maybe worse news for Google than for me. Twisted Evil

PS: Hey, Howard, Glenn Kotche was really good last night. And the first K.U. World Percussion Ensemble piece of the evening was "Parsonova," named for but not by yours truly. Missed you.

Summer break is coming, see you soon.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Google Buys electro-music.com Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

mosc wrote:
We do, however, love Google's motto even more, "Do no evil." What's so impressive is the way they do no evil while exploiting copyrights and profiting from people's work without compensating them in any way."


Yeah, well, you've left out their participation, along with Microsoft and Yahoo, of building in censorship of the net in communist China.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4645596.stm

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BobTheDog



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 10:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Google Buys electro-music.com Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

GaryRea wrote:
mosc wrote:
We do, however, love Google's motto even more, "Do no evil." What's so impressive is the way they do no evil while exploiting copyrights and profiting from people's work without compensating them in any way."


Yeah, well, you've left out their participation, along with Microsoft and Yahoo, of building in censorship of the net in communist China.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4645596.stm


Yep "Do no evil (apart from to make a profit)" Google
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GaryRea



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 10:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Google Buys electro-music.com Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

BobTheDog wrote:
GaryRea wrote:
mosc wrote:
We do, however, love Google's motto even more, "Do no evil." What's so impressive is the way they do no evil while exploiting copyrights and profiting from people's work without compensating them in any way."


Yeah, well, you've left out their participation, along with Microsoft and Yahoo, of building in censorship of the net in communist China.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4645596.stm


Yep "Do no evil (apart from to make a profit)" Google


I have nothing against anyone making a profit - it's what they're profiting from. In this instance, they're profiting from keeping billions of people from knowing what it going on in the world. That, as far as I'm concerned, is evil.

Gary

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seraph
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Google Buys electro-music.com Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

GaryRea wrote:

I have nothing against anyone making a profit - it's what they're profiting from. In this instance, they're profiting from keeping billions of people from knowing what it going on in the world. That, as far as I'm concerned, is evil.

you are right Exclamation

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BobTheDog



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Not quite sure if you read what I said correctly Gary, I said:

Yep "Do no evil (apart from to make a profit)" Google


I was not to saying making a profit was evil I was saying Google does no evil unless it gets in the way of making a profit.
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

BobTheDog wrote:
Not quite sure if you read what I said correctly Gary, I said:

Yep "Do no evil (apart from to make a profit)" Google


I was not to saying making a profit was evil I was saying Google does no evil unless it gets in the way of making a profit.


Ah, I see. Yep, in that case, I agree, Andy.


Gary

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mosc
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I sent an email with a link and it's amazing how many people didn't see this is a joke. I'm going to take it down from the front page after a few more days. I don't want to start to get calls from long lost friends asking me for money. Smile

However, it would sure be nice to have some...

(friends and money, that is)

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BobTheDog



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

The best one I ever saw was on the BBC about spaghetti growing on trees.

Originally from 1957 but repeated when I was a Kid and I believed it!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/april/1/newsid_2819000/2819261.stm
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 9:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I must admit that I was suckered in by Howard's joke for about one or two minutes...
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