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Inventor
Stream Operator
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 6221 Location: near Austin, Tx, USA
Audio files: 267
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:46 am Post subject:
American Values |
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I have reached a conclusion by observing the way that people in this town treat me and others. American values are supposed to be things like brotherly love, friendship, helping others, community, patriotism and even the so-called American dream. But in my experience the one thing that I have seen more than anything else, especially among the youth, is the pleasure of hurting others.
Sad to say, and maybe your experience has been different, but the way that people have influenced my life most significantly is to do things like steal my packages, break into my home, take my car on joy rides and destroy it so that now i have no car, put date rape drug in my food and drink, and laugh at me and insult me while listening outside my window getting high. These are the things that my neighbors do to me and I sum them up as the single most prevalent American value: the pleasure of hurting others.
Les _________________ "Let's make noise for peace." - Kijjaz |
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robsol
Stream Operator
Joined: Apr 24, 2009 Posts: 2492 Location: Bristol UK
Audio files: 495
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:29 am Post subject:
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I am sorry to hear about the things which has happened to you Les.
However... People are what they are, and do all sorts of things, but there are always reasons behind people's actions, and they may or may not be all that complicated. One thing is obvious though - it is too easy to judge and pick holes and find mistakes with just about anything.
Think about this: the way you percieve the world is your own invention. You can turn it around and change it for the better, in your own way. You are already on that path, being creative and sharing so generously of your intellect. You are making this world a better place, in your own way, and that is what you need to keep focusing on. _________________ Muied Lumens Sub Forum
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DES
Joined: Feb 28, 2003 Posts: 794 Location: New Jersey
Audio files: 8
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:57 am Post subject:
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A lot of times the reason one person lashes out at another is because they're not happy with themselves. You've heard the saying 'Misery enjoys company'? The people doing this are trying to empower themselves, to make them feel superior to another human. The truth they are missing is that the way to really empower themselves and feel better about their life would be to extend a friendly hand.
I would recommend that you try and find another place to live if at all possible. It certainly isn't good to imerse yourself in that kind of environment. And while there are certainly a lot of people like your 'neighbors' in the US, there are also a lot that are not...in fact I would venture to say most. At least that is my experience. _________________ Dave
www.davesneed.com |
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Inventor
Stream Operator
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 6221 Location: near Austin, Tx, USA
Audio files: 267
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:12 am Post subject:
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I can't take it anymore. I cannot sleep because when I sleep they break in and apply poison to my feet for some stupid reason. They are swollen badly from undiagnosed drug interactions and the doctors will not do anything about it so I am stopping my meds starting today. Also I have renounced Christianity because God has abandoned me. Satan wins again.
Les _________________ "Let's make noise for peace." - Kijjaz |
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Inventor
Stream Operator
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 6221 Location: near Austin, Tx, USA
Audio files: 267
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:21 am Post subject:
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Good news I slept and feel much better now. I locked my bedroom door and put an alarm up and nobody messed with me this time. I was sleep deprived.
Though I am planning to skip my meds for three days to test and verify that they are causing the swelling. I have done this in the past and I recall that the swelling went away completely when i stopped the meds, proving that there is an allergic reaction or drug interaction or something. We shall see.
As for Christianity, I have prayed and prayed and prayed over this situation and God has chosen to be ineffective at solving the problem. I don't know what to do.
Les _________________ "Let's make noise for peace." - Kijjaz |
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Acoustic Interloper
Joined: Jul 07, 2007 Posts: 2067 Location: Berks County, PA
Audio files: 89
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:24 pm Post subject:
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Inventor wrote: | Good news I slept and feel much better now. I locked my bedroom door and put an alarm up and nobody messed with me this time. I was sleep deprived.
Les |
Les, I am glad that you had a good night's sleep. The brain needs time to do garbage collection
It's hard to have insight into someone else's perceptions -- hell, I am thrilled when I get any lasting insight into my own -- but, given the fact that you are a creative and perceptive audio engineer, perhaps this perspective may help.
As you know, regenerative feedback loops, well, they regenerate! Not only "Garbage In, Garbage Out, " but also "Garbage In, Garbage Over and Over Again."
In most environments there is both crap and good stuff. Occasionally, there are transient spikes of crap. No question about that. Unfortunately, if one pulls these crap transients into a regenerative feedback loop, they seem to be ever present.
Anyone who has done much with looping knows this problem too well. A little performance mistake in a non-feedback environment dies away in milliseconds. On the other hand, hit that clinker while feeding a regenerative feedback loop, and you get to hear it lots of times. It does force one to work on getting better at playing, which is a good thing!
Practice at noticing the fact that one is operating in a feedback loop, and dampening that feedback as necessary, applies to both audio processing and attention. My favorite thing is to go take a walk. With three spirited dogs to manage, the percentage of my attention locked up in a loop gets reduced pretty quickly.
The real key, though, is not to believe that the current contents of a feedback loop have the same standing as the loop itself. Don't reach to adjust the sound in the feedback loop; reach to adjust the Wet/Dry setting towards Dry.
It doesn't always work, but it's worth training some parts of attention to operate outside that loop. The species as a whole is still figuring out how to use these complicated brains that we generated so quickly. Don't feel alienated -- it's only the human race
Take care.
Dale _________________ When the stream is deep
my wild little dog frolics,
when shallow, she drinks. |
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Inventor
Stream Operator
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 6221 Location: near Austin, Tx, USA
Audio files: 267
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:14 pm Post subject:
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Dale that is a fascinating analogy and no doubt true, I will have to let it percolate some more. In the meantime I have been sleeping and sleeping all day into the night which is very rare for me. I awake and my first thoughts are about God.
Since deciding to become a Christian in 1998, I have lost my career which resulted over the past decade plus in a loss of salary far in excess of a million dollars. I also lost my girlfriend and never found another so I have lived in isolation with brief respite ever since, going months or years between touches from other human beings which used to cause pain but is now deadening. I was also driven insane by a two year attack from every segment of society including being falsely rumored of being gay, suffering a year long insect infestation, and having my private life hacked, recorded, edited for negativity, and distributed across the internet.
Now today i have no home, no car, no woman, no local friends, and i am under attack in my apartment on a continuing basis. I owe money to relatives who loan me rather than give, I owe money to the bank and to a kind friend, and my health is failing in various ways.
This horrible downhill spiral began when I decided to become a Christian. I have had enough of a God who allows me to be attacked in this way. He promises that he will be with me always, yet He does nothing to protect me from the powerful attacks of the enemy Satan. That's it, no more Christianity. I'm done with it. I just can't take anymore abuse, I have reached my limit.
Les _________________ "Let's make noise for peace." - Kijjaz |
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Inventor
Stream Operator
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 6221 Location: near Austin, Tx, USA
Audio files: 267
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Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:26 am Post subject:
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Wow! I continued to sleep, for about 18 hours total and I feel great now. Also I am now on day two of no meds and the swelling is going down. I don't know if the change in my theological practices had any impact on this, but the people who were attacking me have stopped... for now.
Les _________________ "Let's make noise for peace." - Kijjaz |
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inlifeindeath
Joined: Apr 02, 2010 Posts: 316 Location: Albuquerque, NM
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:40 pm Post subject:
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I'm sorry to read all this Les. I can't say I know you, but just from what I read here, you have an incredible mind. Sad to say, those of us that are thinkers tend to have the toughest lives due to being aware of what goes on around us and being introspective. From my background, having christianity forced upon me from a young age, I've accepted that others tend to give so much credit to god, without realizing that they themselves manifest their own success and failures. I also accept the immense chaos and at the same time universal unity that drives our lives. Often times the events you view as the worst of times end up creating positive situations and possibilities one can't even fathom. I don't know your history or where you're from, but don't be afraid to move on and try different ventures. Move away to somewhere more suiting and empower yourself to reclaim what once made you happy. Hope all turns out well for you Les. You seem like a very smart, good dude. _________________ http://www.youtube.com/user/borisandfef |
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Inventor
Stream Operator
Joined: Oct 13, 2007 Posts: 6221 Location: near Austin, Tx, USA
Audio files: 267
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:53 pm Post subject:
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That's what I love about this site - people here are so thoughtful and positive and supporting, especially in response to my occasional rant. inlifeindeath, you have been very supportive of my Lunetta work and now you provide insights into my personal issues as well, thank you - you belong here.
As for meds I'm back on them but i'm trimming down my abilify dosage to 1/2 or lower. I was at the maximum dosage and that really isn't necessary. And as for Christianity, forget it. I have a Christian belief system and I practice the basic principles, but I'm tired of being a pawn in the battle of good and evil. Enough of that nightmare.
Regarding something to do for a living, I'm going to have a try at making music boxes. As you all know, I have a talent for creating interesting circuits. I just need to get into the discipline of putting them into enclosures and selling them and I'll be able to supplement my income a bit. That should help in a few categories including income and personal satisfaction.
Les _________________ "Let's make noise for peace." - Kijjaz |
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