Bad jokes

audiodef

I'll start this thread with one apropos for this venue.

How do ghosts, ghouls and zombies broadcast over the internet? On a screaming radio station!

XCenter · Joined: Oct 01, 2005 Posts: 98 Location: Germany

Ghosts?? Or just strange auto-erotica from ... ah ... the "other" side?

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Skrog Productions · Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:54 am Post subject:

"if there is a steady pay check .....i'll believe anything you say"

Heheheheheheh

ZULE!!!!!!

audiodef · Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:36 am Post subject:

I wonder if he'll be in the new Ghostbusters movie I've heard about.

XCenter · Joined: Oct 01, 2005 Posts: 98 Location: Germany

Yep. AFAIK the complete staff is on board except Rick Moranis.

audiodef · Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 10:47 am Post subject:

Nice! Too bad Moranis won't be in it. Maybe he's busy shrinking things.

Next one:

What does Santa say when someone cuts him off? Hey, watch it, assho-ho-hole!

audiodef · Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:49 pm Post subject:

What did the rat say after a tough exam? Man, I think I barely squeaked by.

Why do rodents make good employers? They believe in squeakal opportunity.

audiodef · Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:17 am Post subject:

Who was the world's most uninteresting physicist? Herman Boring.

audiodef · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:20 pm Post subject:

What do Ewoks eat for dessert? Chocolate-chip Wookies.

What do you call someone who's a member of an unselfish faith? You-ish.

audiodef · Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:25 pm Post subject:

Girlfriend and I were baking cookies. She turned the oven down. I turned it back up. She said "if they burn, I'm going to tell everybody it's your fault".

I said, "I'm sure that's what Satan said to God, too".

audiodef · Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:27 am Post subject:

What do you get when you cross a shelled amphibian with a geek? A nerdle.

audiodef · Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:10 am Post subject:

What do you call an angry young lamb? Fuck ewe!

audiodef · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:33 am Post subject:

What do you call a restaurant where people play African drums? Djenny's.

audiodef · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:17 am Post subject:

Where does a tattle-tale in trouble find himself? In a bad snitchuation.

emdot_ambient · Joined: Nov 22, 2009 Posts: 669 Location: Frederick, MD

Some very old ones:

Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?
A: DUNG! (courtesy of Monty Python)

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Don't they make a machine for that nowadays?

Q: What's the difference between a drum box and a drummer?
A: You only have to punch the beat into a drum box once.

Q: What book of the Bible do Christian surfers like most?
A: Duuuuude-eronomy (came up with that one myself...don't tell anybody!)

v-un-v · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:00 pm Post subject:

"I phoned the swine-flu hotline the other day, but all I got was crackling."

Wink

audiodef · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:56 pm Post subject:

audiodef · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:57 pm Post subject:

audiodef · Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:09 pm Post subject:

What are cannibals' favorite way to make fun of celebrities? A roast!

audiodef · Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:44 am Post subject:

What do you call someone who turns green and hides when he gets angry? The Incredible Skulk!

elektro80 · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:33 am Post subject:

http://www.funklogic.com/palindrometer

emdot_ambient · Joined: Nov 22, 2009 Posts: 669 Location: Frederick, MD

Q: What's the official Tibetan newspaper?
A: The Daily Lama.

emdot_ambient · Joined: Nov 22, 2009 Posts: 669 Location: Frederick, MD

Three economists go deer hunting. They spot a deer and two of them squeeze off shots at the same moment. The first economist's shot kicks up dirt 10 feet in front of the deer. The second economist's shot hits a tree 10 feet behind the deer. The thrid economist yells "We got him!"

audiodef · Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:14 am Post subject:

Banjo · Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:06 pm Post subject:

A group of cannibals go to see the witch doctor because of stomach pains after eating the new village missionary. The witch doctor asked them what they had eaten, to which they informed him of their last meal. "How did you cook him?" the witch doctor asked. "We boiled him of course", the witch doctor then replied, "that was your problem, he was a friar!".