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 Forum index » Discussion » Schmooze
Bad jokes
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audiodef



Joined: Sep 05, 2011
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Laughing
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audiodef



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

What does a Mexican programmer have for lunch? A hacko.
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audiodef



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Four friends - Renquist, Nye, Smith, and Jenkins - decided to go on vacation together. They book travel arrangements and accommodations for a week in Hawaii.

They get there, see the sights, relax, and have fun. One night, they go to a restaurant. Their waiter is friendly and learns their names and professions. Renquist is a professional hacker. Nye is a theoretical physicist. Smith is a gynecologist. Jenkins owns a chain of sports equipment stores. The four friends learn that the waiter is a university student studying political science.

When the meal is complete and the friends are ready to leave the restaurant, the waiter asks where they're staying, because the restaurant has an agreement with nearby hotels and bills meals to rooms. This certainly sounds convenient to the friends. So the waiter inquires whom he should bill. Renquist, with a twinkle in his eye, tells the waiter to bill Nye. The waiter, trying to remember who does what, quips, "the science guy?".

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laura woodswalker



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PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I grew up in an area so backward there was only one toilet in the whole county. They called it "the County Seat."

My mommy always told me to stay away from trees because they were Shady Characters.

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audiodef



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PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

laura woodswalker wrote:
I grew up in an area so backward there was only one toilet in the whole county. They called it "the County Seat."



This thread is supposed to be for bad jokes, not for uncovering my political views! Laughing

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audiodef



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

R2D2 jokes:

What does C3PO's companion do when he wants to commit suicide? He self-R2D-structs.

How does C3PO's companion feel when he's sad? R2D-pressed.

How does C3PO's companion feel when having sex? R2D-lighted.

How does C3PO's companion optimize his memory storage? He runs R2D-frag.

How does C3PO's companion make his internal circuits communicate? With R2D-bus.

What is C3PO's companion called when he goes crazy? R2D-ranged.

What is the condition of C3PO's companion when he dies? R2D-ceased.

What happened to C3PO's companion when he was illegally in the country? He was R2D-ported.

How does C3PO's companion dispel myths? He R2D-bunks your story.

How does C3PO's companion give a word meaning? He R2D-fines it.

What is C3PO's companion without a head? R2D-capitated.

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kkissinger



Joined: Mar 28, 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

What names did CP3O's companion give to his brother's twins?

R2Denise.

...and her brother...

R2Dnephew.

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Errorette



Joined: Mar 07, 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
-Pick a cod, any cod!
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Last edited by Errorette on Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:04 am; edited 2 times in total
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Uncle Krunkus
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Why did the current glow?
Because Voltage couldn't resist her

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Uncle Krunkus
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I use the same rules for joke production.
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XCenter



Joined: Oct 01, 2005
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Cow to cat: so small, but wearing a mustache?
Cat to cow: so big, but wearing no bra??

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Banjo



Joined: Sep 27, 2009
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Location: Atlantic County, N.J. USA

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

A man walks into the emergency room with a golf club wrapped around his neck, and looking pretty beat up. When asked by the doctor what happened to him he had a sad tale to tell.

"Well doc, my wife and I went golfing today, and she sliced the ball off of the course. It had gone out of bounds into a neighboring cow pasture. I decided to retrieve the ball and proceeded to climb over the fence. After a few minutes of looking, I spotted a round white object sticking out of a cows butt. I walked over to it, sure enough it was a golf ball. I then lifted up its tail, and said hey honey, this looks just like yours, and that's the last thing I remember."
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Uncle Krunkus
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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

"It's hard to kiss goodnight, the same lips that have been chewing your arse out all day." Shocked Laughing
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Banjo



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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Artificial Intelligence, is when blondes dye their hair a different color.
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