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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:18 am Post subject:
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_________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:04 am Post subject:
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What does a Mexican programmer have for lunch? A hacko. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:12 am Post subject:
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Four friends - Renquist, Nye, Smith, and Jenkins - decided to go on vacation together. They book travel arrangements and accommodations for a week in Hawaii.
They get there, see the sights, relax, and have fun. One night, they go to a restaurant. Their waiter is friendly and learns their names and professions. Renquist is a professional hacker. Nye is a theoretical physicist. Smith is a gynecologist. Jenkins owns a chain of sports equipment stores. The four friends learn that the waiter is a university student studying political science.
When the meal is complete and the friends are ready to leave the restaurant, the waiter asks where they're staying, because the restaurant has an agreement with nearby hotels and bills meals to rooms. This certainly sounds convenient to the friends. So the waiter inquires whom he should bill. Renquist, with a twinkle in his eye, tells the waiter to bill Nye. The waiter, trying to remember who does what, quips, "the science guy?". _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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laura woodswalker
Joined: Oct 06, 2007 Posts: 463 Location: phoenixville pa
Audio files: 18
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:10 am Post subject:
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I grew up in an area so backward there was only one toilet in the whole county. They called it "the County Seat."
My mommy always told me to stay away from trees because they were Shady Characters. _________________ The most important gear is the brain behind the instrument. |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:19 pm Post subject:
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laura woodswalker wrote: | I grew up in an area so backward there was only one toilet in the whole county. They called it "the County Seat."
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This thread is supposed to be for bad jokes, not for uncovering my political views! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:25 pm Post subject:
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R2D2 jokes:
What does C3PO's companion do when he wants to commit suicide? He self-R2D-structs.
How does C3PO's companion feel when he's sad? R2D-pressed.
How does C3PO's companion feel when having sex? R2D-lighted.
How does C3PO's companion optimize his memory storage? He runs R2D-frag.
How does C3PO's companion make his internal circuits communicate? With R2D-bus.
What is C3PO's companion called when he goes crazy? R2D-ranged.
What is the condition of C3PO's companion when he dies? R2D-ceased.
What happened to C3PO's companion when he was illegally in the country? He was R2D-ported.
How does C3PO's companion dispel myths? He R2D-bunks your story.
How does C3PO's companion give a word meaning? He R2D-fines it.
What is C3PO's companion without a head? R2D-capitated. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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kkissinger
Joined: Mar 28, 2006 Posts: 1353 Location: Kansas City, Mo USA
Audio files: 41
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 6:36 pm Post subject:
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What names did CP3O's companion give to his brother's twins?
R2Denise.
...and her brother...
R2Dnephew. _________________ -- Kevin
http://kevinkissinger.com |
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Errorette
Joined: Mar 07, 2012 Posts: 4 Location: Germany
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 2:21 am Post subject:
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What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
-Pick a cod, any cod!
________________
Farm Kingdom Last edited by Errorette on Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:04 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Uncle Krunkus
Moderator
Joined: Jul 11, 2005 Posts: 4761 Location: Sydney, Australia
Audio files: 52
G2 patch files: 1
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:16 am Post subject:
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Why did the current glow?
Because Voltage couldn't resist her _________________ What makes a space ours, is what we put there, and what we do there. |
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Uncle Krunkus
Moderator
Joined: Jul 11, 2005 Posts: 4761 Location: Sydney, Australia
Audio files: 52
G2 patch files: 1
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:17 am Post subject:
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I use the same rules for joke production. _________________ What makes a space ours, is what we put there, and what we do there. |
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XCenter
Joined: Oct 01, 2005 Posts: 113 Location: Germany
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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 5:45 am Post subject:
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Cow to cat: so small, but wearing a mustache?
Cat to cow: so big, but wearing no bra?? _________________ --
How may I be of disservice?
---
Music for conscious listening @ http://www.fmdelight.de/ |
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Banjo
Joined: Sep 27, 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Lawrence County, Mo. USA
Audio files: 2
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 11:04 pm Post subject:
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A man walks into the emergency room with a golf club wrapped around his neck, and looking pretty beat up. When asked by the doctor what happened to him he had a sad tale to tell.
"Well doc, my wife and I went golfing today, and she sliced the ball off of the course. It had gone out of bounds into a neighboring cow pasture. I decided to retrieve the ball and proceeded to climb over the fence. After a few minutes of looking, I spotted a round white object sticking out of a cows butt. I walked over to it, sure enough it was a golf ball. I then lifted up its tail, and said hey honey, this looks just like yours, and that's the last thing I remember." |
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Uncle Krunkus
Moderator
Joined: Jul 11, 2005 Posts: 4761 Location: Sydney, Australia
Audio files: 52
G2 patch files: 1
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:07 am Post subject:
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"It's hard to kiss goodnight, the same lips that have been chewing your arse out all day." _________________ What makes a space ours, is what we put there, and what we do there. |
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Banjo
Joined: Sep 27, 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Lawrence County, Mo. USA
Audio files: 2
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 9:08 am Post subject:
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Artificial Intelligence, is when blondes dye their hair a different color. |
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