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bacon
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bubzy



Joined: Oct 27, 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:18 pm    Post subject: bacon Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

discuss
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PHOBoS



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

mmmm some nice greasy sizzling BACON would be nice,

and donuts.


- officer piglet pig

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DrJustice



Joined: Sep 13, 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Tenets of Baconism

1. In the beginning there was the Big Bang, which begat all of time and space. Eventually sacrificial pigs evolved and the god of bacon did come to be.

2. The bacon god is not a jealous god; you may have other gods or no gods before the bacon god. Go crazy.

3. All the bacon god asks of you is a love of the smell of bacon. Belief in the bacon god’s existence is not required, and is frankly beside the point. You need not even participate in the most holy sacrament of eating bacon, though that’d be weird.

4. It would be nice if, as some other religions teach, you would love your neighbor and be a generally nice, moral person.

5. We are entirely different from those who worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for we prefer our pasta on top of our bacon, while they prefer their bacon on top of their pasta. But that’s cool. Again, we accept everyone who loves the smell of bacon.

6.As you would not have anyone steal your bacon, baconists shall not tolerate the personal violation of any other person.

7. Our god has never revealed its gender. When speaking to the prophet John, the prophet was unable to determine whether the voice was that of a “sensitive” male or an “assertive” female. But the prophet John knows it is not an important question to the bacon god, and therefore never questioned the bacon god on such matters, understanding that the only requirement for Baconism is the love of the smell of bacon.

8. The bacon god loves those of all races, sexual orientations, and beliefs, and they in turn love the god’s divine smell. The smell of bacon is bestowed equally on all people (except those who have no sense of smell, for whom the bacon god feels much pity).

9. Unlike the churches of other religions, baconists pay taxes and do not ask for donations, unless it is to subsidize the pork industry.

10. Try not to boil a young piglet in it’s mother’s milk. Just don’t. Trust me.
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bubzy



Joined: Oct 27, 2010
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

i'm eating BACON right now
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DrJustice



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I'm with you, bubzy! I ate bacon 20 minutes ago as topping on my lutefisk - as we know, bacon elevates all things to another level Very Happy

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BobTheDog



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Leave the Ludfisk and stick to bacon.

You know it makes sense Wink
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Oskar



Joined: Jul 29, 2004
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

BobTheDog wrote:
Leave the Ludfisk and stick to bacon.

You know it makes sense Wink


Lutefisk is basically a very nasty kitchen accident...

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-minus-



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

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JovianPyx



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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Bacon is the essential matter of the universe.

Bacon is an undeniable force made obvious by it's tastey flavor.

Without bacon, there can be no life as we know it.

Bacon cannot be denied nor can it be ignored.

Bacon is a postulate and cannot be proven nor disproven.

If there are other worlds in this or any other galaxy and there is no bacon in them, then they are without life, at least not life worth living.

Bacon is to me as oxygen is to breathing.

Bacon is the reason that veganism should be outlawed, as there can be no true joy without bacon.

Bacon is, therefore I am.

Finally, bacon cannot be made from turkey or vegatable matter. Such material is fake-on and will defile both the body and the spirit.

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Uncle Krunkus
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I know that the bacon died for my sins.
So that the whole of humanity would be saved.
Saved from a world of stringy chicken breast.
And I partake of the sacrament as often as I can.
But, (and maybe I'm showing a tendency to polytheism here)
The bacon is not the whole of my faith.
When life is heavy upon my heart (26th Dec)
The power of Pork compels me,...

The power of Pork compels me!!

The power of Pork compels me!!!!!!!!!!

Ohm...

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JovianPyx



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I am an admitted baconite.

An addict of the bacon.

There is no 12 step program for bacon addiction.

In the absence of bacon, there is naught but a vacuum.

If science truly desires to find the elemental mass particle (commonly called the Higgs Boson), they must research bacon. It is, in fact, the Higgs Bacon.

Do not doubt me. I know the bacon.

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Time flies like a banana.
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BTW, Do these genes make my ass look fat?
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pyrosonic



Joined: Jul 12, 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

-minus- wrote:


I concur.

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bubzy



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 3:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

its a great poem


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JovianPyx



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Have you ever wondered why it is most common to say "bacon and eggs" and not "eggs and bacon"?

It's because BACON IS BETTER!

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Time flies like a banana.
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DrJustice



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

^ In Norway we say "egg og bacon". Saving the best for last... Very Happy
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JovianPyx



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Heh, good one!

Anyway you slice it (pun intended), BACON is better! Smile

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Time flies like a banana.
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Volterock



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I have this reaction...

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Blue Hell
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Posted Image, might have been reduced in size. Click Image to view fullscreen.
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PHOBoS



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 9:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread


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Antimon



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 11:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

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Uncle Krunkus
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Hmmmmm,.....
Looks like he's chewing on some yummy bacon!! Laughing

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Acoustic Interloper



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:07 pm    Post subject:
Subject description: Fake bacon.
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Oh, look, fake bacon Shocked I wonder what they'll have to say about this Twisted Evil


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Acoustic Interloper



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Hey, we used to have a plastic flying pig like that! You'd suspend it from the ceiling on a string, and its batteries would flap the wings, propelling it around. I wonder where that has go to Confused
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JovianPyx



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Facon is clearly not BACON.

"Veggie Bacon" is a contradiction in terms.

Like the money tree cannot grow a dollar, neither can any vegetable plant grow a strip of real, succulent, luscious, flavorful, crispy, porcine bacon.

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Time flies like a banana.
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bachus



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 11:00 am    Post subject:  Eat Bacon and Die You Savages! Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

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