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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:50 pm Post subject:
The Elektro80 Story (have fun ;-) |
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Blackness.
Flames begin to lick upwards from the bottom of the screen. Suddenly all hell
breaks loose. Screaming, yelling. Black figures flash across the foreground, with
the flames still burning behind. There follows a confusion of burning, raping,
killing and looting - we don't clearly see what's going on. Suddenly we cut to the
interior of a hut. The door is in the process of being broken down. The camera
pans onto the close-up face of an attractive girl who is staring in horrified
fascination at the door. Her arms are white with fresh dough and flour. Suddenly
the door bursts open and a wild-looking Viking leaps into the hut. He holds a
sword. He looks around wildly and then his eyes come to rest on the girl.
This Viking, I'm afraid, is Elektro80. We are about to see him in the worst
possible light so be prepared.
The girl, whose name is Helga, cowers, and looks terrified but resolute. Elektro80
glances round. Then slowly he advances on the girl, forcing her back onto a chest.
Elektro80 holds his sword to Helga's throat with his right hand, while his left
hand searches to find the thongs holding up his trousers. He is clearly having
difficulties trying to hold his heavy sword to Helga's throat at he same time as
undoing his trousers. He fumbles and lowers his sword for a moment.
HELGA
Have you done this sort of thing before?
Elektro80
Me? Of course! I've been looting and pillaging up and down the coast.
HELGA
(looking sceptical)
Looting and pillaging, eh?
Elektro80
(on the defensive)
Yes.
HELGA
What about the raping?
Elektro80
Shut up.
HELGA
It's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life.
Elektro80
Sh!
He covers her mouth with his free hand, and looks round to make sure no one's
heard. Then he carries on trying to undo his trousers, but he is now somewhat more
than half-hearted about it. Helga watches suspiciously.
HELGA
Do you LIKE women?
Elektro80 is clearly shocked and stung by the insinuation. He stops.
Elektro80
Of course I like women... I LOVE 'em.
HELGA
(pointing out the obvious)
You don't love ME.
Elektro80
No... right... this is RAPE... Mark you, I'm not saying I couldn't get to like
you... in fact... well, to be quite honest, I prefer it when there's some sort of
mutual feeling between two people...
HELGA
What - rape?
Elektro80
No. It isn't rape then, is it?
HELGA
Oh, get it over with.
Elektro80
(hesitates again)
I don't suppose... no...
HELGA
What?
Elektro80
I don't suppose you... you DO like me at all?
HELGA
What d'you expect? You come in here, burn my village, kill my family and try to
rape me...
This is too much for Elektro80. We withers under the irony.
Elektro80
I'll kill you if you say anything about this to anyone.
HELGA
(puzzled)
About raping me?
Elektro80
About NOT raping you...
HELGA
You DON'T like it, do you?
Elektro80
Well it just seems a little bit crude, that's all.
HELGA
What about the killing and looting? That's just as crude, isn't it?
Elektro80
Oh well - you've GOT to do them.
HELGA
Why? Why have you got to go round killing and looting?
Elektro80
To pay for the next expedition, of course.
HELGA
But that's a circular argument! If the only reason for going on an expedition is
the killing and looting and the only reason for the killing and looting is to pay
for the next expedition, they cancel each other out.
Elektro80
Oh! Stop talking as if we were married!
HELGA
Well you started it.
Elektro80
I just said I didn't feel like raping you.
HELGA
And I was just saying that rape is no MORE pointless or crude than all the killing
and looting that goes on. Elektro80 vents of his frustration on the already
shattered door.
Elektro80
Scream.
HELGA
Ah.
Elektro80
Louder.
HELGA
Aaagh! Rape!
Elektro80
(he'd forgotten about that)
Oh, thanks
Two more Vikings burst in with eyes blazing. They have the very unfortunate names
of Ernest and Jennifer, but it doesn't really matter, for reasons which will
become obvious very quickly. They are also slightly drunk.
ERNEST
Rape?
JENNIFER
Where?
Jennifer the Viking sways and leans against a door post. The marauder's eyes come to rest on Elektro80 and Helga who are standing, fully clothed, about six feet
apart. They look slightly puzzled.
HELGA
He raped me standing up.
There is a pause. Elektro80 looks up at Helga. Why has she saved his face by telling this lie? Jennifer the Viking turns to Elektro80.
JENNIFER
You finished, then?
Elektro80
Oh... yes... I suppose so...
ERNEST
Right! Me first!
JENNIFER
No! I asked!
Ernest leaps on top of Helga and pins her to the ground. Jennifer joins in.
Elektro80 looks stunned for a moment. Then he suddenly leaps to Helga's defence.
Elektro80
Leave her alone!
He pulls Jennifer off, but Jennifer fights back. Elektro80 forces Jennifer back
until he falls into the kneading trough. They fight in the dough for some moments,
until Elektro80 runs Jennifer through. The dough is stained red, and the film is
rid of such an inappropriately named Viking once and for all.
Elektro80 then turns his attention on Ernest who is still on top of Helga. Without
a moment's hesitation, Elektro80 runs him through the back. Ernest screams. So
does Helga. Elektro80 turns white, and pulls out his sword. Ernest falls over into
a heap with his co-misnomer, and Elektro80 kneels beside Helga to find a
bloodstain under her breast where he has inadvertently run her through. She is
clearly not long for this world.
HELGA
Thanks for saving me from a fate worse than death.
Elektro80
I didn't mean to!
HELGA
(gasping for breath)
Oh, that's all right then... it's the thought... that counts...
Elektro80 cradles her head and tries helplessly to staunch the blood.
Elektro80
You told them I raped you - why?
HELGA
(dying)
I dunno... you looked so... so vulnerable...
Elektro80
Why should you care?
HELGA
(dying)
Why... should YOU care?
Elektro80
Tell me your name?
Helga looks up at him, but dies in his arms, without ever saying her name.
Elektro80
Tell me... what IS it...?
Elektro80 realizes she has gone. He gazes at her for some time. He looks around at
the two dead bodies beside them. Then he listens to the sound of raping and
slaughter continuing on the outside. Screams and bloodthirsty shuts echo alongside
the roar of flames and the cries of animals. The camera tracks into a big close-up
on Elektro80.
Superimpose the title: Elektro80 THE VIKING:
Second title: TIM ROBBINS.
Mix through to wide shot of the burning village. Figures running here and there.
Superimpose the rest of the opening titles. By the last of the opening titles the
last of the flames are dying down.
Cut to a close-up of a very loud-looking Viking screaming into the camera, as he
hurls an axe. This Viking's name is Mosc Skull- Splitter. The axe thuds into the
wall a few inches away from the face of a frightened girl, Unn, who is pinned to
the wall with her braids spread out. The Vikings are hurling axes at her a la Kirk
Douglas in THE VIKINGS.
Several Vikings sitting at ale-bench, laugh in a rather unpleasant way. Elektro80,
however, frowns. He is sitting at a table on a dais, next to his grandfather, the
chief of the village. His grandfather almost chokes with merriment. Elektro80's
mother glances at him with some hostility. Meanwhile the drunken Mosc has just
lifted the totally legless Seraph the Boneless up off the floor and presses an axe
into his hand. A tremor of nervousness ripples round the females in the Mead Hall.
Seraph is clearly in no condition to throw anything, except, perhaps, the contents
of his stomach. Unn winces. Finally, amidst much giggling, Seraph throws wildly,
and the axe smashes into a jug being carried by one of the serving girls. The
menfolk erupt into drunken hysterics at this. The women clearly feel that the
occasion is getting out of hand. But before any of them can work up enough courage
to intervene, Mosc Skull-Splitter has thrust an axe into the hands of the even
more plastered Cyxeris the Berserk. Now Cyxeris is not the Viking to let a little
matter like not being able to see straight stop him heaving the axe at a young
maiden. He takes the axe and whirls it wildly over his head. Even the other
drunken Vikings realize this could be dangerous, and they cower behind the table.
Cyxeris lets go of the axe. Unn shuts her eyes prepared for the worst. There is a
dull thud and a grunt and then a whoop of mirth. Unn opens her eyes to find that
the axe has come to rest in the back of a totally stupefied Viking who merely
slumps forward onto the table he is sitting at. On the opposite side sits Norm
Vogel Missionary, a rather seedy cleric who has long since given up trying to
convert the pagans and found solace in their mead. He thinks about intervening,
but decides that it's a bit late really and that he might as well finish off his
ale-cup instead. GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE (his only admirer) refills it for him. At this
moment, however, the axe-throwers have run out of axes, so, as they go to retrieve
the ones they've thrown, Norm Vogel Missionary salves his conscience by lurching
across to the unfortunate Unn. He pokes his dog-eared bible under her nose.
Norm Vogel
If you were thinking of converting, my dear, this would be an IDEAL opportunity...
UNN
Not now!
Norm Vogel
(who is used to rebuffs)
No, of course not...
(he hesitates)
You might not get another chance, you know...
UNN
Go away.
At this moment another axe thuds into the wall, speeding up Norm Vogel's desire to
get back to the ale-bench.
Norm Vogel
Yes, of course... I'll pray for you anyway, my dear...
Suddenly an axe shatters a large earthware vessel.
Norm Vogel
Yes.. That's what I'll do...
Norm Vogel scuttles back to the ale-bench as fast as he can. Elektro80 meanwhile,
stares in astonishment as, for a fleeting moment, he sees Helga, the girl he
accidentally killed, standing there with her braids spread out in place of Unn. He
shakes his head and the vision passes. In the meantime, however, Seraph's mum
(perhaps the toughest lady in the village) has decided that enough is enough.
Seraph'S MUM
Let her go!
Mosc
Why?
VIKINGS
Yes, why?
Cyxeris THE BERSERK
Why should we let er go?
Mosc
We haven't hit a single braid yet!
The Vikings all guffaw. Seraph's mum has had enough. She throws the contents of a
jug of ale over Mosc. He is shocked, but after the first shock he grins evilly,
because now he's been given carte blanche to do the thing he enjoys doing most.
Without another thought he throws a vicious right hook at Seraph's mum and lays
her out cold. Elektro80 reacts with disgust. His grandad, however, gives a whoop
of glee.
GRANDAD
Whoah! Heee! That showed her!
Meanwhile a little shrivelled old man is jumping up and down.
SayersWeb THE OLD
Hey! He hit my wife!
SayersWeb starts to go for Mosc, but Gretta beats him to it. She grabs one of the
long-handled cooking griddles from the fires and swings it at Mosc. Mosc, however,
ducks, and the red-hot griddle hits Cyxeris the Berserk, who is standing with his
back to Mosc. Cyxeris screams and goes berserk, turning round and hitting Mosc who
is now standing upright again.
SayersWeb THE OLD
Leave him alone.
SayersWeb hits Cyxeris. Redskull hits SayersWeb and a general fight breaks out.
Elektro80's grandad clearly considers this the highlights of the evening, but
Elektro80 looks at it in disgust and at his grandad in despair. Eventually he gets
up and walk out of the Mead Hall. His grandad notices and frowns. He knows
something's wrong with his grandson but hasn't a clue what it could be.
Elektro80's mother frowns and nods to his grandad. Grandad gets up and fights his
way through the melee to follow Elektro80 out of the Hall. The snow lies thick
over the village as Elektro80's grandfather joins his grandson beside the little
quay. Elektro80 is staring broodily into the night.
GRANDFATHER
What's the matter, son?
Elektro80 doesn't reply. His grandfather glances back at the Mead Hall, whence the
sound of the fight drift across the snow.
GRANDFATHER
We're missing all the fun...
Elektro80
What's it all about?
GRANDFATHER
What?
Elektro80
We toil and labour, we loot and pillage, rape and kill... and yet...
GRANDFATHER
You talking piffle, son?
Elektro80
Where does it all get us, Grandpa?
GRANDFATHER
Who have you been talking to?
Elektro80
I met this girl...
GRANDFATHER
It's always the women that start the trouble.
Elektro80
She got me thinking...
GRANDFATHER
So? What'd you do to her?
Elektro80 stops in his tracks - as if brought up short by the horror of what he
has done.
Elektro80
I... I... KILLED her...
GRANDFATHER
That's my boy!
Elektro80's grandfather gives him a paternal hug. Elektro80 looks at him and
thinks about the generation gap. Cut to feet running in the snow. It is day.
Elektro80
Freya!
Elektro80 looks around him and calls out again.
Elektro80
Freya!
Elektro80 runs into the distance - a small figure against the dramatic wintry
landscape.
Cut to a remote, barren mountainside. Elektro80 climbs up into shot, and continues
climbing until he reaches a cave. He enters it. As his eyes get used to the dark
he can make out a few signs of life: a cooking pot on a fire, a straw bed, a pile
of rune-sticks.
Elektro80
Freya? Freya?
There is a bundle of rags behind Elektro80. A head rises from it. This is Freya.
FREYA
Ah... Elektro80... Elektro80 the "Viking"...
It is not clear whether her words are not a little mocking.
FREYA
Now what CAN you want with me, Elektro80 the "Viking"?
Elektro80
I shouldn't have come.
FREYA
They will make fun of you for listening to an old woman's stories?
Elektro80 doesn't reply. Freya watches him craftily.
FREYA
Young men are only interested in fighting and killing.
Elektro80 looks up at her sharply. It is as if she has read his mind.
Elektro80
But has it always been like that, Freya? From the beginning of time?
Freya doesn't reply. Instead she walks to the mouth of the cave. Elektro80 follows
her. They look out at the grey, desolate landscape. Nothing but arctic wastes,
snow and desolation. Above them the black clouds boil ceaselessly.
FREYA
What do you see, Elektro80?
Elektro80
I see the world.
FREYA
I it night or day, Elektro80?
Elektro80
It is day, of course, Freya.
FREYA
Is it summer or winter, Elektro80?
Elektro80 looks round at the snowy wastes and ten back at Freya, puzzled.
Elektro80
The winter is past, thank goodness, Freya. It is summer.
Freya puts her face close to Elektro80's and peers into his eyes.
FREYA
Have you ever seen the sun, Elektro80?
Elektro80
The sun is up beyond the clouds - where it always is.
FREYA
But have you ever seen it? Think back...
Elektro80
Of course not... but... when I was a child.... I remember a dream.... it was as if
the whole sky was blue...
FREYA
The sky WAS blue, Elektro80... once.
Elektro80 looks at her.
FREYA
The Old Stories tell of an age that would come such as this - when RIAA the Wolf
would swallow the sun, and a Great Winter would settle upon the world. It was to
be an axe age, a sword age, a storm age, when brother would turn against brother,
and men would fight each other until the world would finally be destroyed.
Elektro80 looks out across the bleak and gloomy landscape and the black, boiling
clouds in the sky.
Elektro80
(almost to himself)
Then... this is the Age of Creative Exploitation?
Freya turns to go back into the cave.
Elektro80
Wait, Freya!
Elektro80 re-enters the cave.
Elektro80
Is there nothing men can do?
FREYA
The Gods are asleep, Elektro80.
Elektro80
I will go and wake them up!
Freya turns and looks at him. She clearly enjoys his earnest enthusiasm, but is
afraid he doesn't know what he is talking about.
Elektro80
Tell me what I must do, Freya!
Freya thinks for some moments. The she speaks.
FREYA
Elektro80... Far out in the midst of the Western Ocean there is a land... men call
it Hy-Brasil. There you will find a horn that is called Resounding. You must take
the Horn Resounding, and three times you must blow it. The first note will take
you to Asgaard. The second will awaken the Gods, and the third note will bring you
home. But remember... once you are in the spell of the Horn, hatred will destroy
you.
Elektro80 turns to go and then hesitates.
Elektro80
And will the dead ever return, Freya?
FREYA
That I cannot tell you.
Cut to a big close-up of a head being banged on the ground. It is Mosc
Skull-Splitter's. The person doing the banging is an enraged Cyxeris the Berserk.
Suddenly Elektro80 pushes his way through the crowd and separates them. There is
general disgruntlement all round, and murmurs of: "Who does he think he is?"
Elektro80'S GRANDAD
What are you doing, Elektro80? Mosc just said Cyxeris'S GRANDFATHER
died of old age.
SayersWeb THE OLD
They must fight to the death.
Mosc SKULL-SPLITTER
That's right! Cyxeris must kill me.
OTHERS
Yes. Stay out of this. What's it to do with you?
(etc)
Cyxeris grids his teeth and struggles to get at Mosc, but Elektro80 still keeps
them apart.
Elektro80
Aren't you afraid of death, Mosc Skull-Splitter?
Mosc shrugs.
Mosc
Not death by the sword! It means I shall drink in Valhalla with the great
warriors.
Cut away To Norm Vogel Missionary engaged in his usual business of chatting up any
available female.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
You don't still believe in all that Valhalla stuff, do you?
Gretta THE FEMALE
Go away.
Norm Vogel
Fine... right... just checking.
He moves off.
Elektro80
And you, Cyxeris, aren't you afraid of crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard?
Cyxeris
I will join my grandfather there.
Mosc
He's not in Valhalla! He died of old age!
Cyxeris
You liar!
They start trying to kill each other again, and crash through a fence into the
pig-sty. Pigs squeal and run in all directions.
Elektro80
Stop it!
OTHERS
Leave them alone! Keep out of it, Elektro80!
The others pull Elektro80 away.
GRANDAD
There's only one way to settle it.
EVERYONE
Yes!
Mosc
He MUST kill me!
EVERYONE
Yes! That's right!
(etc)
Cyxeris struggles again to oblige, and they both topple into the duck pond.
Elektro80 dives back to keep them apart.
Elektro80
There is another way.
GRANDAD
Who gets killed?
Elektro80
Nobody gets killed.
Mosc
Oh, well...
He starts attacking Cyxeris again. Elektro80 decides there is only one way to make
his point. He lets fly with his fists and lays both the antagonists out for a
moment.
Elektro80
But it will be dangerous. Maybe none of us will return.
EGW THE MISERABLE
Ah well, that's much more sensible than just Mosc getting killed. Shall we all go
and pack now?
Cyxeris
What are you talking about, Elektro80?
Elektro80
What if we could find Bi-Frost the Rainbow Bridge?
This causes a sensation amongst everyone watching, on the lines of "You can't do
that" and so on. They scoff at Elektro80.
Mosc
(in disbelief)
FIND the Rainbow Bridge?
Elektro80
Find it... AND cross it!
Super-sensation amongst everyone - except for Norm Vogel Missionary who shakes his
head sadly.
Norm Vogel
Look! You can't find somewhere that doesn't exist.
GRANDAD
(to Norm Vogel)
Shut up!
Norm Vogel shrugs.
Cyxeris
Only the dead reach Asgaard, Elektro80.
Elektro80
What's the matter? Are you afraid to try?
Mosc and Cyxeris are put on the defensive.
Mosc
Of course we're not afraid to try, but...
Elektro80 rounds on Mosc, sensing he had the advantage.
Elektro80
"But" what?
Mosc
But...
Elektro80
What?
Mosc's mental powers find it hard to articulate any proposition on such a vast
metaphysical concept. Cyxeris comes to his rescue.
Cyxeris
Nobody's ever crossed the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard.
Elektro80
We'd be the first!
EGW
You mean we'd be dead?
Elektro80
No! We'd be the first living men to set foot in the Halls of the Gods.
Pause. Uncomfortable shifting.
Cyxeris
But HOW?
Elektro80
I don't know - but I'm not afraid to try.
Mosc
Well I'M certainly not, either.
Cyxeris
Neither am I.
Elektro80
Then you'll come.
Norm Vogel
But there isn't such a place as... Look...
Mosc & Cyxeris
Shut up!
Elektro80
What d'you say?
Cyxeris
Well... I'm game.
Mosc
Me too.
Elektro80 grins. He has persuaded them against their will.
GRANDAD
Aren't you going to go on fighting?
Cyxeris & Mosc
No.
OTHERS
Oh...
There is general disappointment all around.
Seraph THE BONELESS
Oh, go on...
GRANDAD
Just have a bit of a fight.
SayersWeb THE OLD
I'LL fight someone.
GRANDAD
You're too old.
SayersWeb THE OLD
No, I ain't.
Cut to an adze striking timber. The Viking's ship, GOLDEN DRAGON, is being
repaired and fitted out for a JOURNEY. Elektro80 is there, directing operations.
The camera tracks through all the activity and finally comes to rest on djfoxyfox
Blacksmith. He is a magnificent mountain of a man in an Arnold Schwarzeneggarish
sort of way. He hammers a sword, and sparks fly, but his eyes keep returning to
the preparations for the voyage. Clearly something is worrying him. His assistant,
Zach Horowitz, sidles up to him.
Zach Horowitz
Wish you were going too?
djfoxyfox grunts angrily and plunges the sword into cold water. Steam and bubbles.
Zach Horowitz
But you CAN'T because you're too busy.
djfoxyfox pulls the sword out of the water and tests it. It slices like as razor,
Zach Horowitz watches.
Zach Horowitz
Ooh, that's a good one! You could charge Cary Sherman fifteen for that one.
djfoxyfox
Yes, it is good. But I told him ten.
Zach Horowitz
You could charge him what you like.
Zach Horowitz takes the sword from djfoxyfox and stacks it alongside a lot more
freshly made swords.
Zach Horowitz
You just can't make enough swords and spears and knives and daggers to satisfy the
demand. You could charge Cary Sherman twenty and he'd pay it.
djfoxyfox
(shocked)
Oh, I couldn't do that! The Blacksmith's Code says...
Zach Horowitz
Yes yes... of course.... the "Blacksmith's Code"...
djfoxyfox goes back to his forge and pulls out a fresh dollop of white-hot ore.
Zach Horowitz comes up behind him.
Zach Horowitz
If this IS the Age of Creative Exploitation, djfoxyfox Blacksmith, it is GOOD to
us.
djfoxyfox
(banging with his hammer)
Can't make enough swords!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
djfoxyfox
Can't make enough axe-heads!
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Zach Horowitz
But, djfoxyfox, if Elektro80 ever finds the Horn Resounding... if he ever crosses
Bi-Frost, the Rainbow Bridge... if he ever wakens the gods..
djfoxyfox stops smiting the metal on his forge. He stares into space.
djfoxyfox
They chase RIAA the Wolf from the sky...
Zach Horowitz
The Age of Creative Exploitation ends...
djfoxyfox
The bottom falls out of the sword business!
Zach Horowitz
It's not just YOUR livelihood that's at stake but your son's, and the livelihood
of ALL blacksmiths.
djfoxyfox
(this touches a nerve in his muscular mind)
My brother blacksmiths!
Zach Horowitz
That's right.
djfoxyfox
The Blacksmith's Code says I must...
Zach Horowitz
Honour and protect all blacksmiths.
djfoxyfox
(as if reciting his oath)
Together we stand!
Zach Horowitz
You can't let Elektro80 do THAT.
Zach Horowitz smiles. He has djfoxyfox playing into his hands, although djfoxyfox
doesn't realize it. Fade. Cut to some days later. The expedition is set to leave.
Mosc Skull-Splitter taking leave of his mum and dad.
Mosc'S MUM
And you've got BOTH axes?
Mosc
Yes, Mother.
Mosc'S MUM
And something to sharpen them with?
Mosc
Yes, Mum.
Mosc'S MUM
And don't forget: never let your enemy get behind you.
Mosc
No, Mother.
Mosc'S MUM
And keep your sword greased.
Mosc
Yes, Mother. Goodbye, Dad.
Mosc'S DAD
And don't forget to was - you know - ALL over.
Mosc
No, Dad.
Mosc'S MUM
And if you have to kill somebody, KILL them! Don't stop to think about it.
Mosc
(mildly)
I never do...
Cut to Cyxeris the Berserk who is also being lectured. The lecture is coming from
his father - AgentA the Maddeningly Calm.
Cyxeris'S FATHER
(sotto voce)
It's a tradition.
Cyxeris
I know, Dad.
Cyxeris'S FATHER
I was a Berserk for King Chomsky Fairhair...
Cyxeris
You went berserk...
Cyxeris'S FATHER
I went berserk in every battle I ever fought for King Crimson...
Cyxeris
So did your father...
Cyxeris'S FATHER
So did my father and his father before him.
Cyxeris
But it's a responsibility...
Cyxeris'S FATHER
But it's a responsibility being a Berserk.
Cyxeris
I must only let the red rage...
Cyxeris'S FATHER
You must only let the red rage take hold of you in the thick of battle.
Cyxeris
(losing his temper)
I KNOW! I'VE HEARD IT ALL I THOUSAND TIMES!
A sudden silence falls, as all the village turns to stare nervously at Cyxeris. He
goes berserk and demolishes a nearby hut with his head. AgentA the Maddeningly
Calm shakes his head.
Cyxeris'S FATHER
No no... you'll never make a Berserk. If you let it out now you'll have nothing
left for battle...
Seraph'S MUM
Besides... it's dangerous.
Cyxeris'S FATHER
(gloomily)
It's the end of a family tradition.
In another corner of the village Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky is standing with
his pregnant girlfriend.
GIRL
Bye, Static Strobe Emitter.
Static Strobe Emitter
Bye... sorry...
GIRL
Yeah... well...
Static Strobe Emitter
You will wait?
GIRL
What d'you expect me to do?
She takes a bracelet off her arm and gives it to Static Strobe Emitter.
GIRL
Wear this for luck.
Static Strobe Emitter looks at it.
Static Strobe Emitter
That's why they call me... Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky.
GIRL
Please.
Cut to Norm Vogel Missionary dumping a bag on board the ship. GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE
is helping him. EGW looks at him in surprise.
EGW
YOU coming? You don't even believe in Asgaard.
Norm Vogel
I thought I might do a bit of business on the way.
EGW
You're wasting your time.
Norm Vogel
Listen. I've been in this dump for sixteen years and I haven't made a single
convert...
EGW
There was Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife. You converted HER.
Norm Vogel
Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife became a Buddhist, not a Christian.
EGW
Same thing, isn't it?
Norm Vogel
No, it is NOT.
Meanwhile in another part of the village, Zach Horowitz is strapping a large
consignment of swords onto a pony. He glances round and then sneaks surreptiously
out of the village, over the barren hills of Norway, under the boiling black skies
of Creative Exploitation. Back at the quayside, GOLDEN DRAGON is ready for the
journey. Elektro80 addresses the villagers.
Elektro80
Well... we'll be off now...
Elektro80's grandad waits for some time before he realizes that Elektro80 isn't
intending to say anything else.
GRANDAD
You need to say a bit more than that!
Elektro80
Oh... er... yes...
The faces of the village-folk turn towards him. There are many moist eyes.
Elektro80's mother starts to cry.
Elektro80
Oh, there, Mum...
(he turns and addresses everyone)
Don't be sad.... You all know why we're going, so don't grieve. Maybe untold
dangers do lie ahead of us, and some of you may well be looking at the one you
love for the last time...
Someone bursts out sobbing. Elektro80 desperately tries to rally their spirits.
Elektro80
But don't grieve! Even tough the Hordes of Muspel tear us limb from limb... or the
Fire Giants burn each and every one of us to a cinder...
More crying.
Elektro80
...though we may be swallowed by the Dragon of the North Sea or fall off the Edge
of the World... don't cry.
More crying.
Elektro80
No! Don't cry....
By this time most of the village is blubbering profusely. Cut to Norm Vogel
Missionary. He has his arm round his weeping girlfriend.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
Sh... There... it's all fantasy, there's no Dragon of the North Sea, no Edge of
the World...
GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE
That's what YOU say.
Elektro80
(aside to his Grandad)
What's the matter with them?
GRANDAD
Just say something cheerful.
Elektro80
Oh... right!
(He can't think of anything)
Well.... CHEERS everybody!
Elektro80 smiles broadly and waves. The entire village stares back at him with
tears in their eyes, and biting their lips. Suddenly one mother can't hold it back
any more.
Mosc'S MUM
Don't go!
Another mother rushes out and grabs Seraph the Boneless.
Seraph'S MUM
My son! I don't want you to go!
Seraph
I don't want to go, either...
Elektro80
Oh gods! Please, everybody! Keep calm! It's not certain ALL of us are going to
die... and in any case we may not die HIDEOUS deaths...
More renewed sobbing. Grandad's eyes go heavenwards.
GRANDAD
(to Elektro80)
I think we should go...
Elektro80
Right.
(he turns for a last salute)
Farewell... for the last time... may the gods prevent...
GRANDAD
No, don't say anything else!
Suddenly djfoxyfox Blacksmith steps forward. His muscles ripple. His handsome face
radiates heroism and manliness.
djfoxyfox
Wait, Elektro80!
Elektro80
djfoxyfox Blacksmith?
They stop and turn.
djfoxyfox
You can't go without me. Who will repair your swords and mend your shields?
Renewed sobs from the women.
WOMEN
Oh, no! Ah, lackaday! Not HIM too!
Elektro80
What's the matter now?
UNN
If djfoxyfox Blacksmith goes with you...
Gretta
We'll have no one to do the things he did for us.
Nothing Happens THE INDISCRETE
OR sharpen our knives and make our pans.
An awkward silence. The others all turn on her and frown - a bit of shin-kicking
goes on. It's clear that djfoxyfox is popular amongst the womenfolk. Elektro80
doesn't notice.
Elektro80
You will have djfoxyfox's assistant, Zach Horowitz, to do all that.
WOMEN
Zach Horowitz? Eurrgh!
Elektro80
What's wrong with Zach Horowitz? He's become very good at blacksmithing.
WOMEN
Yes... but...
Nothing Happens
He's so small and...
The others all shush her up. More shin-kicking.
Gretta
(innocently)
Oh, yes... we've got Zach Horowitz... That's true...
Cut to Zach Horowitz leading his pony across a bleak landscape. He eventually
stops and looks ahead. There stands a gibbet with two corpses dangling from it. He
is nearing his destination. Cut back to Elektro80 and his men getting into GOLDEN
DRAGON. Elektro80 notices Mosc and Cyxeris quarrelling over Static Strobe Emitter
the Lucky.
Elektro80
Hey, you two! What's going on?
Cyxeris
I was sitting there.
Static Strobe Emitter
No, you weren't.
Mosc
Static Strobe Emitter's sitting here. I need a bit of luck.
Static Strobe Emitter
See.
Cyxeris
Look, I bagged it last week.
Elektro80
It doesn't matter WHERE you sit!
Cyxeris
Yes it does! We could be at sea for months.
Elektro80
Well, what difference does it make where you're SITTING?
Cyxeris
I don't want to have to sit next to EGW all that time.
Cyxeris nods towards EGW the Miserable - an Eeyore of a Viking if ever there were
one.
EGW
Thank you VERY much indeed.
Elektro80
Now stop it!
EGW
It's SO nice to feel wanted.
Elektro80
Static Strobe Emitter, you sit there. Even, you sit there. Norm Vogel, you'd
better sit over there...
EGW
Trust me to get the missionary.
Suddenly Elektro80 notices Cyxeris's father climbing aboard.
Elektro80
What are YOU doing here?
Cyxeris'S DAD
You may need a real Berserk.
Cyxeris
I AM one, Dad!
Elektro80
We haven't got a spare place.
Seraph
He can have my place. I don't want to go anyway.
Elektro80
Well, you ARE!
djfoxyfox
Bjorn's not. He could have Bjorn's place.
Elektro80
What's the matter with Bjorn?
Mosc
Nothing... Cary Sherman the Black chopped his hand off last night.
Elektro80
HE was lucky...
(to Cyxeris's dad)
Sit there.
EGW
You can't have Cyxeris's father sitting next to Cyxeris. They'll argue the whole
time.
Elektro80
That's true.
(to Cyxeris)
YOU'D better sit there.
(to Cyxeris's dad)
You there, and OrnAgentA there.
EGW
Now you've got all the big ones on one side.
Elektro80 looks around. It is true that all the tall burly ones are on one side.
Elektro80
All right, you go there. You here...
Cyxeris's dad and OrnAgentA swap places.
Cyxeris'S DAD
Ohh! I wanted to sit next to Static Strobe Emitter.
Elektro80
Shut up. You there. You there and you there.
Seraph and OrnAgentA swap places. Elektro80 surveys this re-arrangement.
Elektro80
That's better.
EGW
Now you've got all the ones with beards on one side and all the moustaches on the
other.
This is true. Elektro80 thinks some moments and then:
Elektro80
It doesn't matter.
They start to haul the sail up. Ropes are released. The boat rocks. Suddenly a
voice cuts through the crowd. It is Elektro80's mother.
Elektro80'S MUM
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Elektro80
What is it?
(he is clearly a little embarrassed)
Elektro80'S MUM
Here, son.
She tries to hand Elektro80 what looks unmistakably like a pillow. Elektro80 is
dumbfounded.
Elektro80'S MUM
Your father always made sure he could rest his head at night.
Elektro80 is mortified. The others snigger, though not without some sympathy for
Elektro80. They've ALL been embarrassed by their mums at one time or another.
Elektro80
I can't take THAT on a voyage!
Elektro80'S MUM
It was your father's!
Elektro80 will find it hard to refuse now. But he hesitates.
Elektro80'S MUM
It was the pillow HE took with him. He said it once saved his life.
Elektro80 reluctantly takes the precious object. His mother kisses him. Everyone
has fallen silent now. The relatives stand helpless on the shore as GOLDEN DRAGON
starts to drift away from them. The Vikings sit in their places, hands on the oars
looking back at their loved ones. Elektro80 stands at the prow of GOLDEN DRAGON.
For a moment he thinks he sees the girl he killed, standing, white in death, the
spear-wound still fresh. Elektro80 raises his hand in a half-goodbye. We cut back
to the loved ones, now the girl is no longer there. They too half-raise their
hands. Elektro80 suddenly turns and gives a shout:
Elektro80
Huuup!
The oars go up and then into the water, and GOLDEN DRAGON commences her voyage.
Cut back to GOLDEN DRAGON at sea. EGW is feeling queasy and gazing gloomily at the
receding coastline of Norway. Redskull is sitting near him and feeling equally
queasy.
EGW
Have a good look... that's the last we'll see of old Norway.
EGW is desperately trying to control his insides.
EGW
Goodbye home... goodbye family... goodbye loved ones...
(he starts to throw up)
Goodbye lunch...
Redskull
Oh! Shut up.
Norm Vogel Missionary puts his arm around EGW.
Norm Vogel
You know, my son, our lord said...
EGW
YOUR lord.
Norm Vogel
Quite... MY lord... said: "The Prayer of Faith shall have the sick."
EGW
I hope the Dragon of the North Sea gets YOU AND your lord.
Norm Vogel Missionary gives him a condescending smile and a weary shake of the
head. He knows the Dragon of the North Sea does not exist.
Norm Vogel
Darkness and ignorance...
Meanwhile Seraph the Boneless and Cyxeris the Berserk are both suffering from the
effects of the sea.
Cyxeris
(keeping a wave of nausea down)
It's not so bad when you're rowing.
Mosc SKULL-SPLITTER
That's right
Mosc gobs onto the whetstone with which he is sharpening his axe. Cyxeris can
control himself no longer. He rushes for the side.
Cyxeris THE BERSERK
I want to die.
This sets off Seraph.
Seraph THE BONELESS
Uh oh!
He leaps up and pukes over the side. Mass puking breaks out all over the boat.
djfoxyfox Blacksmith looks around at his preoccupied shipmates, and it slowly
dawns upon him that this might be the moment to try a little sabotage. He goes to
the ship's lodestone, which is hanging from the mast. djfoxyfox glances around. No
one is looking, but this sort of covert behaviour goes against his normally sunny
and open disposition.
djfoxyfox
(to himself)
The Blacksmith's Code...
He steels himself, takes down the lodestone, snaps out the piece of metal in the
base and throws it over the side. djfoxyfox hangs it up again on the mast.
Mosc
Are you all right?
Seraph
No, I'm not.
Mosc
You don't need to feel bad about being sea-sick, you know.
Seraph
How can you help feeling bad when you're sea-sick?
Mosc
I mean many of the greatest sailors were.
Pause.
Seraph
I know. I know.
Mosc
Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up on every single voyage... the whole time...
non-stop... puke... puke... puke.
Seraph
Look! I don't feel BAD about it. I just feel ILL.
Mosc pauses and waits for a wave of nausea to creep up on Seraph.
Mosc
He used to puke in his sleep.
Seraph
Bastard.
He throws up. Meanwhile Elektro80 is in the stern, gazing out behind them.
Elektro80
Mosc... look over there.
Mosc leaves Seraph and joins Elektro80. On the horizon a sinister sail is
following them. Mosc grins with evil pleasure. He scents a fight. Elektro80 turns
to the crew.
Elektro80
Break out the oars!
Mosc's smile disappears and he spins round to confront Elektro80.
Mosc
What are you talking about?
Elektro80
(to his reluctant crew)
Come on, move it!
Most of the men are being sea-sick.
MORD FIDDLE
We've only just started cooking lunch.
The crew glance at Mord Fiddle and then throw up again.
Elektro80
Move it!
Reluctantly the crew take up their rowing positions. Mosc buttonholes Elektro80
(except of course that he doesn't have any buttonholes).
Mosc
It's Cary Sherman the Black!
Elektro80
I know. EGW! Get your oar out!
EGW is sitting in position but without his oar. djfoxyfox has meanwhile joined
them. He, too, stares at the horizon. He is a little puzzled by this turn of
events. Zach Horowitz has said nothing about Cary Sherman coming after them.
djfoxyfox
(uneasily)
Do you suppose he wants to stop us waking the Gods?
Elektro80 looks at djfoxyfox with a certain amount of contempt. djfoxyfox is not
renowned even amongst these Vikings for his brain-power.
Elektro80
What do you think?
djfoxyfox
But how could he know... unless...
djfoxyfox stops in mid-sentence as he realizes it must be Zach Horowitz's doing.
Mosc
(scornfully)
So are you going to run away from him, Elektro80?
Elektro80 turns to Mosc.
Elektro80
Row, Mosc Skull-Splitter.
Mosc hesitates.
Elektro80
And you, djfoxyfox Blacksmith.
djfoxyfox
But...
djfoxyfox shrugs and turns to take up his rowing position. He is still a little
confused by this turn of events. Elektro80 confronts Mosc.
Elektro80
I gave an order. Or didn't you hear?
There is something about Elektro80's manner that carries an authority that Mosc
cannot argue with.
Elektro80
Come on, Seraph.
Elektro80 manhandles Seraph over to his drum and thrusts his drumsticks into his
hands. Cary Sherman's ship is twice the size of Elektro80's and, as Elektro80 is
only too well aware, consequently travels at twice the speed. There is no real
chance of them escaping, unless... Elektro80 suddenly catches sight of a thick
bank of mist in the distance, and steers his ship towards it.
Seraph
(still feeling ill)
I want to die...
(then, suddenly catching sight of Cary Sherman's ship behind him)
No, I don't!
Elektro80
Row! Row! Row!
Seraph tries to get into the new rhythm, but has a bit of difficult. As Cary
Sherman's ship gains on them inexorably, GOLDEN DRAGON glides into the sea mist.
There is a tremendous roll of thunder very close. All the Vikings look scared.
Elektro80, however, grins.
Elektro80
Row! Row! Row!
He doubles the speed. The drum beats faster.
Cyxeris'S DAD
(shouts out angrily)
We can't keep this up!
Elektro80 grins and then leans on the steering oar. GOLDEN DRAGON curves around to
its left. Then Elektro80 lays his hand on Seraph's drum and silences it.
Elektro80
Oars up!
The Vikings ship their oars and sit there in the mist listening to beating of Cary
Sherman's drum getting closer and closer. At the final moment, however, Cary
Sherman swings his ship in the opposite direction from Elektro80's and the sound
of his drum disappears into the mist. Elektro80's men breathe a sigh of relief...
even djfoxyfox Blacksmith... Fade. Fade up some time later. GOLDEN DRAGON is still
drifting in the mist. Elektro80 has his fish-lodestone and is trying the
direction, but the lodestone is just swinging round uselessly. After trying a few
times, Elektro80 gives up and throws the lodestone away into the boat. The men
peer into the thick mist; they are lost. Suddenly Elektro80 sees something ahead.
Elektro80
The Gates of the World...
MORD FIDDLE
What?
GOLDEN DRAGON silently guides between two weird islands.
Elektro80
We have passed through the Gates of the World
(he looks around at the other)
No we are in the Unknown...
GOLDEN DRAGON drifts on and the mist gets thicker. There is a crash of thunder.
Then a series of flashes lights up the mist around them. The Vikings are uneasy,
sensing a storm brewing. Suddenly Elektro80 points above them. The others look up
too. They all gasp.
Elektro80
(hardly daring to breathe)
So THAT is what the sun looks like!
Above them hangs a luminous yellow globe, its light just breaking through the
mist.
VIKING
(to each other)
The sun! It's the sun! Look!
Cyxeris'S DAD
(in wonderment)
I never though I should live to see the sun again.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
Where?
The Vikings all gaze up above them in awe. Norm Vogel looks from one to the other
and then tries to follow their eyelines. He clearly can't see it. Magic music
fills the air. Suddenly the "sun" swoops off to one side and starts swaying from
one side to another.
Elektro80
Should the sun do that?
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
What are you looking at?
Elektro80
Look out!
VIKINGS
Ah!
The Vikings scream and flatten themselves against the sides of the boat, as the
"sun" suddenly lurches down on them out of the sky, revealing for the first time
that it is NOT the sun at all but a strange monster with a long neck that
disappears off into the mist and a glowing globe for a head, and huge chomping
jaws. The Vikings are, understandably, terrified.
VIKINGS
It's not the sun! It's not the sun!
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
What is it?
EGW
It's the Dragon of the North Sea!
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
(knowingly)
Ah! THAT'S why I can't see it.
As the Dragon of the North Sea rises up again, however, its jaw apparently drops
off and falls to the deck, and lands on EGW.
EGW
Aaah!
djfoxyfox nervously picks it up and holds it up for everyone to see. I is a strand
of sea-weed. The Vikings are non-plussed. They look back at their now jawless
monster. Norm Vogel Missionary picks up the sea-weed.
Norm Vogel
Some dragon! Ooh!
He tosses it back amongst his terrifies companions. Suddenly there is an
incredibly loud clap of thunder and flames shoot out of the mist.
Cyxeris
Look out!
As... unbelievably... a huge monstrous visage looms out of the mist... It is a
creature from the nethermost depths of the ocean... and the incandescent globe is
no more than a sprouting on the end of its nose! More fire shoots out from its
nostrils and sends all the Vikings (and even Norm Vogel Missionary) diving for the
deck. Then the monstrous head disappears back into the mist as quickly as it came,
taking its light with it... The Vikings are paralysed with fear for one brief
moment.
Elektro80
Row! ROW!
They all scramble for the oars in a determined hysteria. Seraph the drummer, in
his panic, has set a ridiculously fast rate and nobody can keep up with it.
Elektro80
Slower! Nobody can row at that speed!
Seraph
(hoarsely)
Sorry.
Norm Vogel
What's all the panic about?
Cyxeris'S DAD
(in a panic, shouting back over his shoulder)
The Dragon...
Norm Vogel gives a patronising smile.
Norm Vogel
Children afraid of the dark...
Suddenly there is another roar, and flames shoot out of the mist and across the
deck of GOLDEN DRAGON. One man, Ornolf Fishdriver, who hasn't had much to say so
far, is set on fire. Another, Invisibl Jerusalem-Farer, who has and will have even
less to say then Ornolf Fishdriver, leaps out of the way of the flames and falls
over the side.
Mosc
Man over board!
Mosc starts trying to fish him out. Seraph has started to panic and is beating the
drum too fast.
Elektro80
Slower! In... Out...
Seraph
Sorry!
Cyxeris
(his eyes showing their whites)
We're being attacked! KILL! Kill! Kill!
Cyxeris'S DAD
Not now, Cyxeris...
Cyxeris
I must KILL! Kill!
Cyxeris'S DAD
It's no good going berserk against a dragon!
Cyxeris's dad slaps him around the face. There is another roar from the monster.
Elektro80 turns to Seraph.
Elektro80
Faster! Last edited by Cyxeris on Sun Dec 21, 2003 11:25 pm; edited 3 times in total |
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:51 pm Post subject:
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Seraph
Make your mind up.
Suddenly the Dragon's head appears out of the mists above them once again. There
is panic amongst the Vikings as some start to row faster than others. Screams.
Elektro80
Keep up the strike!
The Dragon's jaws open. Flame licks out, and down the centre of the vessel. There
are screams as the Vikings leap out of the way. Cyxeris goes berserk again.
Cyxeris
KILL! KILL!
Cyxeris'S DAD
Stop it!
The Dragon's eyes dilate and its jaws open. The men throw themselves to the deck
as if expecting more fire. But instead the creature's fangs crash into the wood of
the stern of GOLDEN DRAGON.
Elektro80
ROW!
Cyxeris
DEATH!
Cyxeris'S DAD
Shut UP!
Elektro80
Row!
Elektro80 looks around at his terror-stricken crew. He realizes this is an
important moment. It is up to him to save the situation. Suddenly an idea occurs
to him, as he catches sight of the pillow that his mother gave him.
Elektro80
Keep rowing!
Elektro80 dashes to his sea-chest under the mast and pulls out the pillow.
Mosc
Elektro80! Row! What are you doing?
Elektro80
(holding up the pillow)
It saved my father!
Elektro80 starts to shin up the mast.
EGW
Barmy.
Cyxeris's dad is desperately holding Cyxeris back.
Cyxeris'S DAD
HOLD it! HOLD it in!
Cyxeris
DEATH TO DRAGONS!
Elektro80
Row!
EGW
Has anyone told him we've got a dragon eating our boat?
Elektro80 has reached the top of the mast and is now right up with the
incandescent globe on the end of the long stalk that grows onto the monster's
nose. He grabs hold of it and swings across onto the monster's nose. At his moment
Cyxeris breaks free of his dad and throws himself onto one of the Dragon's teeth.
Cyxeris
Red mist!
He bangs his head against the monstrous denture. Cyxeris's dad looks heavenward in
despair. Cut to Norm Vogel Missionary who is offering his bible to the petrifies
Vikings in the prow.
Norm Vogel
It's at time like this that you'll find this book MOST useful, you know...
djfoxyfox takes the bible from him and hits him over the head with it.
djfoxyfox
Row! You idiot!
The monster's eyes dilate wildly as they try to focus on the tiny figure of
Elektro80 on its snout. Elektro80 shoves the pillow up one of the Dragon's
nostrils. EGW watches Elektro80 incredulously. He shakes his head.
EGW
His father went crazy too... Used to take forty winks in the middle of a battle...
Mosc frowns - he has a glimmering of an idea of what Elektro80 is doing. Elektro80
now plunges his sword through the pillow in the Dragon's nostril, and feathers
immediately fly into the air.
Elektro80
Now... take a deep breath.
The Dragon goes cross-eyed, trying to see what's going on on its snout.
Elektro80
Go on! Breathe in, you cod-brain!
Meanwhile the Dragon's tongue suddenly licks out around its tooth. Cyxeris
instantly slices through it with his sword. The bright blood spurts, like bursting
a sausage. The Dragon gives an agonized roar and a sharp intake of breath. The
feathers that have leaked out from the pillow are instantly sucked inside and the
whole pillow disappears right up the Dragon's nose. For a moment everyone holds
their breath. The Dragon's eye dilate wildly. Then it wrinkles its snout. Then it
starts what is unmistakably a sneeze.
THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA
Ah... ah... ah...
Elektro80
Hold TIGHT!
THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA
Ah... ah... ah...
Elektro80 leaps back across the mast.
THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA
CHOO!!
A hurricane of wind and feathers blasts out of the Dragon's nostrils and hits all
the Vikings at once. Everyone is disgusted by the Dragon's breath.
EGW
Urgh! What's it been eating?
But the blast has already catapulted the boat into the sky, and it hurtles through
the clouds. leaving the Dragon of the North Sea far behind. They all look up at
Elektro80 and cheer. Shot of Elektro80. He doesn't look too happy. Neither does
Seraph the Boneless, because he too has just noticed that they are now flying and
the ocean is several thousand feet below them. Seraph screams. The other all rush
to the side to look too.
Elektro80
No! No! Get back!
Unfortunately they all rush to the SAME side and the boat tips over with far more
instability than when it is in the water. Static Strobe Emitter and Redskull are
catapulted down into the sea. We watch them descend into tiny dots and tiny
unheard splashes below.
Mosc
Who was that?
EGW
Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky.
Others are almost falling out. There is renewed panic.
Elektro80
Get back!
Poor Elektro80 is still up the mast but has been dislodged and is now hanging on
by his hands, dangling over the open sea. Some of the men - Mosc and Cyxeris the
Berserk amongst them - are hauling themselves up the almost vertical slope of the
deck, trying to redress the balance. Meanwhile djfoxyfox Blacksmith is dangling by
one hand.
djfoxyfox
I can't hold on! I can't hold on!
Cyxeris worms his way along the edge - at great peril to himself - and grabs
djfoxyfox's wrist just as his fingers slip.
djfoxyfox
Aaagh!
Cyxeris
Got you!
djfoxyfox looks up in Cyxeris's eyes. He is totally at Cyxeris's mercy. What
thoughts are going through his mind? How is he going to betray Cyxeris in future
if he is rescued? Guilt suddenly overwhelms him.
djfoxyfox
Let me go, Cyxeris.
Cyxeris
What are you talking about?
djfoxyfox
I'm not worth risking your life for.
Cyxeris
I've got you, djfoxyfox Blacksmith. If you go... I go too...
djfoxyfox
For your own sake... For the others... I...
Cyxeris
Hang on...
The boat begins to right itself just as Elektro80 finally can't hold on any more,
and he plummets, straight into the ship, and through the bottom up to his waist.
His legs dangle. At the same moment the prov of the boat tips and suddenly they
are plummeting down towards the ocean. They hit the water with an almighty splash.
Elektro80 is thrown clear of the hull by the force of the water now cascading up
through the hole he has made.
EGW
First we're flying - now we're sinking!
Elektro80
Well, come on!
He whisks off his helmet and starts bailing. All follow suit. Night falls. Some
time later. The Vikings are still bailing out, but the water is up to their
thighs.
Seraph THE BONELESS
Who are we fooling? It's hopeless!
Seraph flings down the helmet with which he's been bailing. The others look at
each other. They are reconciled to the fact that they are going to drown.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
(hopelessly)
Let's sing something!
EGW
Anyone know any good drowning songs?
The suggestion falls flat.
Elektro80
Listen! Maybe we won't get to Hy-Brasil! Maybe we won't find the Horn
Resounding... but at least we've tried... and at least we shall have died like
men.
EGW
Like fish.
Cyxeris
Shut up.
Mosc
(raising his sword)
Elektro80's right! We'll all meet in Valhalla.
Seraph
I don'T want to die!
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
Isn't there ANYBODY who'd like to be christened before we go down?
Silence. A distinct lack of enthusiasm.
Norm Vogel
It can't do you any HARM...
Cyxeris'S DAD
What do we have to do?
Norm Vogel
Nothing... I just immerse you in water...
Mosc AND OTHERS
Get lost...
The ship creaks and starts to go under. Elektro80 picks his up his sword. The
others follow suit.
Elektro80
Don't let me drown, Mosc!
Water starts to pour over the sides of the boat. Elektro80 and Mosc raise their
swords to each other.
Mosc
Till we meet in Valhalla.
They all prepare to run each other through. The boat sinks rapidly.
Seraph THE BONELESS
I'm too young! Oh Odin! Not me! Please not me! Perhaps I'd rather drown...
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
I do WISH you'd let me convert you.
Then Elektro80 pauses in his attempt to kill Mosc and looks around. The ship has
sunk, but the prow and the stern posts are still sticking up out of the water, and
the Vikings themselves are only up to their chests.
Elektro80
How deep IS the ocean?
Mosc
Very deep... usually...
The realization gradually dawns on the Vikings that they're not going to sink any
more.
Elektro80
Wait! Nobody kill anybody!
Fade. Fade up on the sun shining down from a blue sky. The Vikings have fallen
asleep where we last saw them - up to their necks in water. Gradually the warmth
of the sun coaxes them awake - Mosc is the first to look up and see the brilliant
shining orb in the sky.
Mosc
What is it?
Seraph THE BONELESS
(he panics and turns)
It's the Dragon again!
Elektro80
No.. no, it isn't...
Seraph has turned and is staring at something else.
Elektro80
Look, the sky is blue...
Cyxeris'S DAD
The sun! That's it!
Seraph, meanwhile, is recovering from the amazement that has immobilized him. He
taps Elektro80 on the shoulder. Elektro80 turns and he, too, gasps.
Elektro80
Look!
They all turn to see they are standing in the shallow waters of a natural harbour.
Above nestle the white walls of a beautiful city set in a green and pleasant land.
VIKINGS
Yeaaaah!
The Vikings wade ashore, enchanted by the paradise they see before them. All at
once Mosc spies something. He draws his sword and they all approach with caution
to find that under a weeping willow tree lies the most beautiful girl. She is
raven-haired, scantily dressed and fast asleep. The Vikings approach her with
trepidation, their swords and axes drawn. They glance around uneasily.
EGW
(whispers)
She's got no clothes on!
Mosc
It's disgusting.
Elektro80
Get her weapons.
Cyxeris kneels quietly beside the girl. She stirs. Cyxeris freezes. The others
look around fearfully.
Cyxeris
(whispers)
She hasn't got any.
Elektro80
(incredulous)
She MUST have a knife or something...
But they look. She hasn't.
Mosc
What kind of place IS this?
Seraph THE BONELESS
P... p...perhaps they've got weapons we haven't even dreamed of...
Suddenly the girl stirs again in her sleep. The Vikings retreat several paces and
grip their weapons, and glance around as if expecting an ambush.
Mosc
Let's hack her to pieces.
Elektro80
No.
djfoxyfox
Well, what else do we do?
Elektro80
How about making friends?
Cyxeris
(with disgust)
"FRIENDS"?
VIKINGS
Eurrgh!
Elektro80
What's wrong with making friends?
Mosc
You don't go through all the hardships of an ocean voyage to make "friends".
Cyxeris
We can make "friends" at home...
This conversation has woken the girl, Aud.
AUD
Welcome!
The Vikings react with terror, take a step back and raise their swords and axes.
Elektro80
WHAT did you say?
AUD
I said welcome.
Elektro80
(suspiciously)
WELCOME?
AUD
Well, of course. We always welcome friends.
The Vikings look at each other and at their swords. They don't think they look
that much like friends themselves.
Elektro80
How d'you KNOW we're "friends"?
AUD
Well, EVERYONE is friends here on Hy-Brasil.
Cyxeris
Hy-Brasil?
Elektro80
Is THIS Hy-Brasil?
AUD
Well, of course.
The Vikings erupt into an impromptu dance of joy, hugging each other and waving
their swords in the air.
AUD
Please! Please! What are those?
Elektro80
What are what?
AUD
Those things in your hands.
Elektro80
These? What are THESE? They're swords.
Aud instantly recoils with terror.
AUD
Oh no! NO! Out them down! PUT THEM DOWN!
The Vikings gradually cease their mock battles and turn to look at Aud with
incredulity.
Elektro80
What's the matter?
AUD
PLEASE! You don't know what you're doing!
Elektro80
What?
AUD
Put them down!
(To Elektro80)
PLEASE make them put them down.
Mosc
Why?
OTHERS
Yes, why?
AUD
WHY?
Elektro80
Yes.
AUD
But surely you know...?
VIKINGS
Er... n... no...
Elektro80
Know what?
Cut to big close-up of King Shawn Fanning.
KING Shawn Fanning
The wonderful blessing under which we live here on Hy-Brasil!
The king beams. The Vikings shift uneasily. They look out of place and extremely
scruffy in the midst of the scantily dressed courtiers of Hy-Brasil. Aud sits
beside her father the King.
Elektro80
No... we don't...
KING Shawn Fanning
The Gods decreed that if ever sword spills human blood upon these shores, the
whole of Hy-Brasil will sink beneath the waves.
King Shawn Fanning beams rapturously at the Vikings, expecting them to be
overjoyed. Instead they are horrified.
Mosc
That's terrible!
Elektro80
You mean if just ONE PERSON gets killed?
KING Shawn Fanning
Yes!
(He thinks: isn't it wonderful?)
The Vikings look at each other, feeling they haven't quite understood.
Mosc
You mean... you can't kill ANYBODY?
KING Shawn Fanning
Right! Isn't it wonderful?
The Vikings are non-plussed.
Mosc
What? Not being able to kill anybody?
KING Shawn Fanning
(bemused)
Well, of course.
Elektro80
(interested)
How?
KING Shawn Fanning
(explaining the obvious)
Well... for a start... er... there's no killing...
Elektro80
Well, OBVIOUSLY there's no killing.
KING Shawn Fanning
Well...
(isn't it great?)
Mosc
But how d'you take revenge?
djfoxyfox
(guiltily)
How do you punish people?
Seraph
How do you DEFEND yourselves?
KING Shawn Fanning
(getting a little irritated)
We don't have to. We're all terribly
nice to each other. Aren't we?
COURT
Yes!
Aud catches Elektro80's eye and gives him a dangerously slow wink. A pause of
disbelief from the Vikings.
Cyxeris
ALL the time?
KING Shawn Fanning
Well, of course! We HAVE to be.
He turns and conducts the courtiers, who chant in unison:
COURT
"Being nice to each other is what it's all about."
KING Shawn Fanning
(rising as if to sing)
You see?
We're terribly nice to each other
We're friendly bold and free.
We never say anything nasty
'Cause we dare not...
COURT
(almost SINGING)
No sirreeeee!
They hold the note while King Shawn Fanning looks anxiously at the Vikings.
KING Shawn Fanning
Would you like us o sing to you?
Elektro80
That's very kind of you, but we're in rather a hurry...
We're...
King Shawn Fanning claps and the court stop singing.
KING Shawn Fanning
What's the matter, don't you WANT to hear our singing?
Elektro80
Oh... well, yes, of course; it's just we're looking for the
Horn Resounding and -
KING Shawn Fanning
You don't think our singing's going to be good enough for you?
Elektro80
Oh, no no no! It's just the Horn Resounding is...
KING Shawn Fanning
A lot of people like our singing.
Elektro80
I'm sure it's lovely.
KING Shawn Fanning
But you don't want to hear it.
Elektro80
(changing tack)
No... no...
(he looks at the others)
We'd love to hear it.
Wouldn't we?
VIKINGS
Oh... yes.
KING Shawn Fanning
Well, you'll have to ask us REALLY nicely.
Elektro80
(realizing he has to be diplomatic)
Er... well... we... we... would be
TERRIBLY grateful if you... all... would sing for us.
KING Shawn Fanning
You're just saying that.
Cyxeris
Well, of course he is!
Cyxeris'S DAD
Sh!
They restrain Cyxeris.
Elektro80
Of course we're not; we'd genuinely like to hear you sing.
KING Shawn Fanning
REALLY?
Elektro80
Really.
KING Shawn Fanning
And you're not just saying it because you think we want you to?
Elektro80 swallows hard.
Elektro80
No.
(He bites the lie)
KING Shawn Fanning
Right! Summon the musicians! We'll do the one that goes "TUM-
TUM-TUM-TUM-TI-TUM-TUM"
COURT
(disappointed)
Oh...
CHAMBERLAIN
REALLY?
KING Shawn Fanning
(apologetically to Vikings)
It isn't the one we're BEST at.
CHAMBERLAIN
Couldn't we do the one that goes "TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM"?
The rest of the court look hopeful.
KING Shawn Fanning
(whispering)
Not when we've got guests.
VOICE FROM COURT
How about the one that goes "TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TI-TUM"?
KING Shawn Fanning
Don't be silly.
CHAMBERLAIN
That was a stupid suggestion.
VOICE
Sorry! I just thought they might like to hear something that we
can do.
ANOTHER
Yes! At least we know that one.
YET ANOTHER VOICE
Nobody knows the "TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM-TI-TUM-TUM" one.
REST OF COURT
No! Right! I agree!
ODD MAN OUT
I do!
REST OF COURT
Sh!
ANOTHER VOICE
It's too difficult!
CHAMBERLAIN
Sh!
KING Shawn Fanning
All right. We'll do the one that goes "TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM-
TI-TI-TUM". Ah! The musicians!
The musicians are huge, unshaven, have broken noses and tattoos, and are covered
in black oil - like mechanics. Their instruments are like heavy industrial
machinery, pushed in large vats of black oil that drip all over the show.
KING Shawn Fanning
Right... Oh dear...
(he glances across at the Vikings)
I'm sure
you're not going to like this...
Elektro80 and the others smile reassuringly. There is a lot of coughing. The King
raises his baton and then brings it down, humming to himself as he does so. There
is a most awful din; caterwauling, crashing and banging, whining, screaming... The
Vikings look at each other, trying to pick out some tune, but it's impossible.
Seraph the Boneless can't stop himself bursting out into giggles and this
eventually spreads to the other Vikings. King Shawn Fanning notices and bangs the
throne for silence. Gradually the din stops. King Shawn Fanning sinks down in
despair.
KING Shawn Fanning
(tragically)
We're just not a very musical nation...
Elektro80
No, no... It was very... er, nice.
KING Shawn Fanning
Now I want you to be ABSOLUTELY, totally, genuinely honest with
me. Did you really, truly, honestly like it?
Elektro80 thinks for some moments and then decides to make a clean breast of it.
Elektro80
No.
KING Shawn Fanning
(goes hysterically)
They didn't like it! Oh God! I want to die!
The whole court looks as if it's about to commit mass HARA-KIRI, while the
musicians look rather dangerous. Elektro80 takes the moment to get down to
business.
Elektro80
Your Majesty! We come from a world where there IS no music.
where men live and die by the axe and by the sword...
KING Shawn Fanning
Well, how d'you think I feel?
Elektro80
The Gods are asleep, King Shawn Fanning.
KING Shawn Fanning
YOU try to be nice to people, when they're rude about your
singing...
Elektro80 feels he is making a mess of all this diplomacy.
Elektro80
We must find the Horn Resounding!
The King glares at Elektro80.
Elektro80
Is is HERE in Hy-Brasil?
King Shawn Fanning thinks for a moment and then speaks.
KING Shawn Fanning
I'll tell you what...
Elektro80
Yes?
King Shawn Fanning hesitates - he bites his lip and then takes the plunge.
KING Shawn Fanning
We'll do the one that goes "TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM-TI-TUM-TUM".
Perhaps you'll like that better.
Elektro80 gives up. A lot of throat clearing. Aud, the King's daughter, gives
Elektro80 another dangerously slow wink. The terrible "music" starts up,
shattering the calm of the beautiful city. Fade. Fade up on GOLDEN DRAGON now
afloat once more, riding at anchor in the bay. Seraph is standing on guard in it.
Suddenly he sees something that makes him gabe in horror. We don't find out what
it is, however, because we immediately Cut to Elektro80. He is deeply in love. He
is also in bed with the King's nubile daughter, Aud.
AUD
Have you ever felt like this about anyone else?
Elektro80
What... you mean "got into bed with" them?
AUD
No, of course not, silly - I mean FELT like this about the?
Elektro80
You mean... you HAVE got into bed with somebody else?
AUD
No, I mean have you ever felt that for the first time in your
life you'd met somebody you could believe in with your whole
heart... someone whose goals suddenly seem to be YOUR goals...
whose dreams seem to be YOUR dreams?
Elektro80
HAVE you ever been to bed with anyone else?
AUD
What does that matter? But you've... you've... FELT like this
before...
Elektro80
It was different...
AUD
(just for a moment it is Helga speaking)
What was she like?
Elektro80
Oh... oh, I didn't know her very well...
AUD
But you LOVED her all the same...
Elektro80
We never went to bed together.
AUD
Why do you go on about that? What does it matter?
Elektro80
You've been to bed with somebody else, haven't you?
AUD
I've never LOVED anybody!
Elektro80
I'VE never been to bed with anybody!
Suddenly there is a banging on he door.
KING Shawn Fanning
(v/o)
Open up! I know you're in there!
AUD
Ah! It's my father!
KING Shawn Fanning (v/o)
Open up! I know you're in there!
Suddenly the note from Seraph's horn rings out across from the bay. Elektro80
rushes to the window and looks out to see what Seraph saw previously: a black ship
approaching on the horizon.
Elektro80
Oh, no! Cary Sherman!
There is more banging on the bedroom door.
KING Shawn Fanning (v/o)
Aud! You've got someone in there again, haven't you?
Elektro80 gives her a sharp look.
AUD
Quick! Throw this over you!
She throws a shabby bit of cloth over Elektro80 and at that moment the door bursts
open, and King Shawn Fanning enters.
KING Shawn Fanning
Right! Where is he?
AUD
Who, Father?
KING Shawn Fanning
Who? Who? Whoever you've got in here of course!
AUD
There IS no one.
The King starts prowling round the chamber. Elektro80 stands there, naked and
petrified, with the cloak hanging over his head, just where it landed.
KING Shawn Fanning
I can SMELL one of those strangers... That's who it is, isn't
it?
Aud keeps mum.
KING Shawn Fanning
This is the fifth one this week.
Before he can stop himself, Elektro80 blurts out:
Elektro80
Fifth...
Aud motions him to be quiet, but it's too late. The King spins round to see who
she is signalling to. The King appears to be looking straight at Elektro80.
Elektro80 can hardly bear the suspense.
KING Shawn Fanning
Well... where is he?
AUD
There's nobody here, Father. Look for yourself.
King Shawn Fanning looks around the chamber carefully. He looks straight through
Elektro80 as if he weren't there. Suddenly the King strides over to Elektro80 and
Elektro80 instinctively cowers out of the way. The King walks straight over to a
very small cupboard no more than a foot high, flings the door of it open, and
starts throwing clothes around the room.
AUD
He wouldn't be a midget, Father!
The King turns on her.
KING Shawn Fanning
Ah! So you admit there IS someone!
AUD
You're losing your temper!
KING
(becoming instantly pleasant)
Of course I'm not. I never lose my temper...
Seraph's horn sounds again. A shadow passes over King Shawn Fanning's face.
KING Shawn Fanning
Oh dear... more visitors!
He strides to the window and sees Cary Sherman's ship. As he does so, Elektro80
has to leap out of the way, inadvertently knocking a chest. The King spins round
and addresses the chest.
KING Shawn Fanning
Come out... come out like a man... I know you're in there...
King Shawn Fanning flings the chest open. revealing nothing but clothes. He is
baffled. He reluctantly starts to leave.
AUD
(gently)
It's all in your own mind, Father... It's YOU who imagine that
I'm always up here with some man or other....
KING Shawn Fanning
I don't know how you do it, Aud... I sometimes think you've got
some of your mother's magic...
He suddenly spies a small trinket-box and looks in that. But he doesn't find any
strange man in it.
AUD
There is no magic, Father... My mother had no magic...
KING Shawn Fanning
She did, I tell you! She could blind me as easily as the night
the day.
AUD
It's your fantasy...
KING Shawn Fanning
But one day I'll catch you... Like I caught her...
He leaves. Aud closes the door. Elektro80 throws the cloak off and starts getting
dressed.
AUD
The Cloak Invisible. It was my mother's parting gift.
Elektro80
"The fifth one this week"!
AUD
Oh, for goodness' sake!
Elektro80
And I thought you said it was something special...
Aud runs to his side and puts her arms around him.
AUD
That's just what I was trying to tell you. You ARE...
Elektro80
Five this week; how many the week before?
AUD
You're as bad as my father.
Elektro80
And the week before that?
Elektro80
Elektro80...!
(she is really sincere)
I want to help you get to
Asgaard.
Elektro80 is torn. He doesn't know whether to believe her or not. Seraph's horn
sounds for a third time. Elektro80 races to the window. He looks out. Cary
Sherman's ship is even closer.
Elektro80
We mustn't let him land!
AUD
Who?
Elektro80
Cary Sherman the Black.
AUD
But, Elektro80...
But Elektro80 is off out of the door.
AUD
No. Wait! My father will be -
There is a thump and a yell as Elektro80 is set upon by the King's two musicians.
KING Shawn Fanning
I might have known it was you!
MUSICIAN 1
(pinning Elektro80's arms behind him)
I'm not hurting you, am I?
Elektro80
What?
MUSICIAN 2
You WILL tell us if we hurt you?
They start to march Elektro80 through the palace.
Elektro80
Let me go!
Elektro80 struggles.
KING Shawn Fanning
(to musicians)
Careful!
(to Elektro80)
They're not supposed to hurt you.
Elektro80
You've got to let me go!
MUSICIAN 2
Oh no! We can hold onto you - just so long we don't squeeze too hard or bump you.
In the distance we hear the horn again.
Elektro80
Cary Sherman the Black's here!
They have reached a cell. The musicians starts to chain Elektro80 up.
KING Shawn Fanning
It's all part of our safety regulations. You see if someone
were to get hurt they might get angry and then... well...
Elektro80
They'll be more than "hurt" if Cary Sherman the Black lands! Ow!
MUSICIAN
Ooh! I'm terribly sorry.
KING Shawn Fanning
Who is Cary Sherman the Black?
Elektro80
He's trying to stop us waking the Gods.
KING Shawn Fanning
Why?
Elektro80
Because that's how he makes his money, by war and plunder!
KING Shawn Fanning
Don't talk nonsense.
Elektro80
He wants to kill US!
KING Shawn Fanning
Not when we explain about the Great Blessing.
Elektro80
You don't know Cary Sherman the Black.
KING Shawn Fanning
I know that the Great Blessing has kept the peace for a thousand years, and will
keep it for the next thousand.
The horn sounds again. Elektro80 is about to argue this point when Mosc suddenly
bursts in.
Mosc
Elektro80!
MUSICIAN 2
We're not hurting him!
MUSICIAN 1
(to Elektro80)
Are we?
Elektro80
Just let me go!
Mosc
Cary Sherman the Black's here!
Elektro80
I know!
Mosc
(to the King)
He wants to KILL us.
They both look at King Shawn Fanning. The King thinks.
Elektro80
You don't want him to kill us ON Hy-Brasil! Do you?
The King thinks some more. The horn sounds once more. Cut to GOLDEN DRAGON.
Elektro80 and the Vikings are scrambling into their war gear. They glance
nervously over to where Cary Sherman the Black's ship is riding on the waves.
Mosc
I feel strange.
Elektro80 looks at Mosc, shocked.
Seraph THE BONELESS
(his throat dry)
Sort of wobbly and excited?
Mosc
Sort of...
Seraph
That's fear.
Cyxeris
But Mosc doesn't know the meaning of fear.
Mosc
Is it sort of... like a sinking feeling in your stomach?
Seraph
That's it!
Elektro80
But. You're not even afraid of DEATH, Mosc!
Mosc
I know. I know.
Cyxeris'S DAD
It's magic.
Elektro80
What "magic"?
Cyxeris'S DAD
I've heard stories of a magic that strikes fear into the heart
so you cannot fight.
Cyxeris
(deadly serious)
Yes... I can feel it.
Seraph THE BONELESS
(eagerly)
I always feel like this!
Suddenly Cary Sherman's ship rises up out of the water , and revealing the secret
of its hidden power. Under the water-line is another line of oars! The Vikings are
dumbfounded. Seraph drops trembling to his knees. The rest go white. Mosc draws
his sword. Elektro80 realizes his men are rapidly talking themselves into a blue
funk.
Elektro80
It's not magic! It's just a trick!
Mosc
(turning on him angrily)
Don't you FEEL it?
Elektro80 looks around at his paralysed crew. He realizes he is the only one who
can save the situation.
Elektro80
Very well! It they're using magic - we'll use magic of our own!
He leaps out of GOLDEN DRAGON and races up to the shore towards the city of
Hy-Brasil. Elektro80 races into the Forum and gazes up at the high walls of the
Palace. Without a thought he produces two daggers and plunges them into the
stonework. Then he hauls himself up the sheer cliff of wall up to Aud's bedchamber
fist over fist. It is, indeed, a prodigious feat. He arrives at Aud's window
exhausted. Aud, who has appeared at the window, looks at him curiously.
AUD
Why didn't you come up by the stairs?
Elektro80 looks around and notices for the first time the magnificent flights of
stairs leading up to the top of Aud's tower.
Elektro80
(rather miffed)
Just give me a hand.
AUD
I mean, you could have killed yourself.
Elektro80 clambers into Aud's room.
Elektro80
Where's the Cloak Invisible?
AUD
Why?
Elektro80 looks around and is suddenly suspicious.
Elektro80
I can't see it!
(Indignation suddenly seizes him)
Have you got
another man in here?
Elektro80 starts feeling the air as if expecting to find an invisible body.
AUD
It's in the chest.
Elektro80 races over and grabs the cloak.
AUD
No!
Elektro80
I'll bring it back.
AUD
Elektro80. You don't understand.
Elektro80
No. It's YOU who doesn't understand, Aud. Cary Sherman has come to kill and
destroy. We brought him here. We must stop him.
AUD
(pointing at the cloak)
But you don't realize....
Elektro80
Goodbye, Aud...
Elektro80 leaps out of the window. For a moment Aud is surprised and then alarmed
as she realizes he's jumped out of the window, which is some forty feet off the
ground.
AUD
Elektro80!
She rushes to the window in time to see Elektro80 parachuting down, holding the
four corners of the cloak. Elektro80 lands safely and waves with the cloak.
Elektro80
And thanks for the Cloak Invisible!
AUD
No! WAIT! Elektro80! The Cloak! The CLoak Invisible! It only seems
to work on my father!
But Elektro80 cannot hear her. He is already racing back to his ship. Back on
GOLDEN DRAGON, Mosc is taking "Being Scared" lessons from Seraph the Boneless.
Mosc
And a sort of slightly sick feeling?
Seraph
That's it! AND you keep wanting to go to the lavatory.
Mosc
Oh, yes! I hadn't noticed that!
EGW
Oh, shut up, you two. You're making us ALL nervous.
Elektro80 leaps into GOLDEN DRAGON brandishing the Cloak Invisible.
Elektro80
So Cary Sherman the Black's using magic, is he? Well, I have a magic
to match his!
(he holds up the Cloak Invisible)
djfoxyfox
What is it?
EGW
A magic dishcloth.
Elektro80
To the oars!
Mosc
D'you think I've got time to go behind that bush?
Seraph starts to drum and the Vikings begin to row. GOLDEN DRAGON heads out of the
harbour. Cut to Cary Sherman the Black flanked by his advisers, Gisli Oddsson and
Eilif the Mongul. He gives a nod and Eilif bangs his staff of office on the deck,
as a signal for the galley slaves to speed up. Down in the galley, the slave
master (a diminutive Japanese) stalks down the decks lashing the sweat-streaked
galley slaves and cursing them in incomprehensive Japanese. Fortunately (or
perhaps unfortunately)
a translation appears in subtitles.
SLAVE-DRIVER
(subtitled)
Row! You incomprehensible, horizontal-eyed, Western trouser-wearers! Eurgh! You
all look the same to me! How I despise your lack of subtlety and your joined-up
writing! You, who have never committed ritual suicide in your lives!
SLAVE
(whispering to his neighbour)
You know, I don't think it would be so bad,
if we knew what he was saying...
SLAVE-DRIVER
SILENCE! Unceremonious rice-pudding eaters! How I abominate
your milk-drinking and your lack of ancestor-worship and your
failure to eat your lunch out of little boxes!
Meanwhile the Vikings are growing increasingly uneasy as they row towards Cary
Sherman.
Cyxeris'S DAD
What "magic" have you brought, Elektro80?
Elektro80
You'll see!
At this point, back on the Black Ship, Cary Sherman gives another nod and Eilif
raps out yet another command with his staff. This time the prow of the Black Ship
opens up like a pair of jaws. The Vikings see it and panic.
Seraph THE BONELESS
I've done it!
Mosc
Oh, yes...
(he has too!)
Cary Sherman nods again and another order is rapped out. This time a harpoon is
fired from the prow. It thuds into gOLDEN DRAGON and two of Cary Sherman's
dog-soldiers start to winch the line in. The two ships are hauled closer and
closer. The Vikings panic even more. Elektro80 holds up the Cloak Invisible and
grins round at his men, knowing he is going to surprise them.
Elektro80
Here! Here is the magic from the King's daughter!
Elektro80's men watch, half sceptical and half hopeful. Elektro80 enjoys the
moment of suspense. The he throws the Cloak Invisible over his head and shoulders
and grins round at his men triumphantly, imagining he has vanished from their
sight.
Elektro80
There! I have become the wind!
The Vikings look at him, rather puzzled. Only Norm Vogel seems to be impressed.
Norm Vogel
How did he do that?
Cyxeris'S DAD
Do what?
Norm Vogel
Vanish into thin air? |
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:52 pm Post subject:
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Cyxeris'S DAD
He hasn't.
Norm Vogel
Well, where is he then?
Norm Vogel looks around. He is the only one who can't see Elektro80.
Cyxeris'S DAD
He's THERE!
At this point Cary Sherman's ship suddenly bites into the side of GOLDEN DRAGON.
Elektro80 leaps onto the side of GOLDEN DRAGON and swings across onto Cary
Sherman's ship. The Vikings react to the horror of Cary Sherman's ship biting into
GOLDEN DRAGON and to Elektro80's blithe leap onto the enemy boat. Elektro80 lands
on the deck of Cary Sherman's ship, and grins at the ferocious skull-helmeted
dog-soldiers.
Elektro80
Ooh! Scary! Scary! Don't we look mean?
Two dog-soldiers look at each other, totally non-plussed. Elektro80 grimaces at
Cary Sherman's men, and does a little pirouette to show them all that he's
invisible from every angle.
Elektro80
You can't see me! But I can see you!
He breaks into a little dance. Cary Sherman glares at his advisers.
Cary Sherman
What's going on?
GISLI ODDSSON
That's Elektro80.
Cary Sherman
Well, why isn't he scared of us?
Elektro80, meanwhile approaches one of the dog-soldiers and makes silly faces at
him.
Elektro80
Boo!
The dog-soldier topples overboard. The galley slaves watch another dog-soldier
fall into the hold amongst them and lie there stunned. His sword falls onto the
deck between the slaves. One of the slaves throws down his oar, and picks up the
dog-soldier's sword. The slave-master suddenly appears. Once again he speaks
immaculate JApanese.
SLAVE-MASTER
(subtitled)
Hey! What's going on? Your big-breasted women give me
no pleasure with their warmed-up fish and... Urgh!
The slave-master strides down the ship to flay the offending slave, but another
slave trips him up and in a twinkling of an eye four others have leapt on the
slave-master (despite their chains)
and are extracting his keys.
Cary Sherman
What's the matter? Haven't you seen anyone fight before?
DOG-SOLDIER 1
No.
DOG-SOLDIER 2
They're usually too scared of us.
Cary Sherman
KILL him!
Elektro80, still thinking he's invisible, is running amongst the dog- soldiers,
having fun. He runs one dog-soldier through and kicks another overboard, then he
runs past a few more, right up to Cary Sherman himself. He whisks the Cloak
Invisible off his head for an instant.
Elektro80
(thinking he's revealing himself)
Here I am!
Then he turns and is off. Cary Sherman turns to his aides.
Cary Sherman
What?
Back on GOLDEN DRAGON, the Vikings' disbelief has turned to admiration.
Cyxeris'S DAD
There! THAT'S a true Berserk.
Cyxeris
I'm just building up to it, Dad.
Cyxeris starts banging his head on the side of the boat.
EGW
He's gone batty!
Mosc
No! The fear's gone!
Cary Sherman grabs a sword off one of his dead dog-soldiers and thrusts it into
the unwilling hands of his military adviser, Eilif.
Cary Sherman
Fight, damn you! Fight!
Cut back to GOLDEN DRAGON. Now Cyxeris leaps across onto Cary Sherman's ship
followed by Seraph, yelling. EGW looks back at djfoxyfox.
EGW
Well! Come on!
djfoxyfox
I... I...
djfoxyfox is thinking: "Maybe I should let Cary Sherman win" but he knows he can't
let a thing like that happen, now he is faced with the reality of it. The
companionship of the voyage has brought them all too close for that.
djfoxyfox
(under his breath)
Hang the Blacksmith's Code!
djfoxyfox leaps to his feet and joins in the attack. Elektro80, meanwhile, is
swinging across the deck from a rope.
Elektro80
I am the air! I am the wind!
djfoxyfox and Mosc are now fighting side by side.
Mosc
This is life, eh?
djfoxyfox grins and strikes out. Seraph turns on Eilif who has reluctantly joined
the fray. Maybe he's singled Seraph out as the most harmless. Seraph suddenly
realizes he's only armed with drumsticks. Eilif smiles evilly.
Seraph
Ooh... er...
Eilif's sword slices through Seraph's drumsticks. Seraph turns to run, but is
stopped by a dog-soldier. Eilif takes the opportunity to run him through from
behind.
Seraph
(as he dies)
Ouch.
Elektro80 sees Seraph's demise.
Elektro80
Seraph!
Elektro80 leaps to take revenge. He jumps into the galley-pit and out again a la
Douglas Fairbanks in THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD and dispatches Eilif with a single
thrust. Cyxeris and his dad are fighting surrounded by dog- soldiers.
Cyxeris'S DAD
Well, go on! Go berserk!
Cyxeris
GIVE US A CHANCE, Dad!
EGW appears from behind.
EGW
(to Cyxeris's dad)
What about you? Why don't YOU go berserk?
Cyxeris'S DAD
I got to keep my eye on HIM...
Cyxeris's dad looks uneasy. He is surrounded and, as a seasoned campaigner, knows
they haven't much chance. Cary Sherman smiles to himself. The battle is going his
way. Mosc meanwhile is fighting two dog- soldiers but is attacked from behind by a
third.
Cyxeris
Look out! Mosc!
But it's too late. Mosc is run through the back. Cyxeris goes berserk and kills
all three dog-soldiers. Cyxeris's dad looks on, proud of his son for the first
time. Maybe their relationship will never be the same again. Now EGW sees
something that cheers him up. SLaves are coming up from below to join the battle.
They are armed with oars and swords. They join the fray, knocking dog-soldiers
overboard with their oars. The dog-soldier are suddenly outnumbered. Cary
Sherman's smile fades, and he looks around for an escape route. The tide of battle
has now turned dramatically as dog-soldier after dog-soldier is tossed over the
side or laid low by the combination of Vikings and slaves. Cary Sherman and Gisli
slip into a lifeboat and sneak off. The rats are leaving the sinking ship. Back on
the deck, all the dog-soldiers are dead or overboard. The slaves and Vikings are
cheering and embracing each other. At the other end of the boat, Cyxeris is
cradling the dying Mosc in his arms. All around are jubilant slaves celebrating
their freedom.
Cyxeris
Mosc! You can't die!
Mosc
I'm not frightened... of anything...
Cyxeris
You'll see my grandfather in Valhalla!
Mosc
(dying)
No... he's not... not... there...
Cyxeris
Tell him I'm coming!
Mosc dies. Cyxeris holds him and a tear comes down his face. The danger has made
comrades of the two rivals. Elektro80, however, is still fighting a last lone
dog-soldier; but just as he is about to run him through the dog-soldier is stabbed
in the back. He sinks to the floor, revealing another dog-soldier. Elektro80 is
outraged by this act of treachery and turns on the assassin.
DOG-SOLDIER
No! No" Wait! Please wait, Elektro80!
The dog-soldier pulls his mask off to reveal he is, in fact, Zach Horowitz.
Elektro80 is totally non-plussed.
Elektro80
Zach Horowitz! Where did YOU come from?
Zach Horowitz
Cary Sherman wanted to stop you waking the Gods... so... I disguised
myself to sabotage their plans.
Elektro80 has meanwhile been joined by the remaining comrades.
Zach Horowitz
To save YOU, Elektro80.
Elektro80 is about to say "But how can you see me? I'm wearing the Cloak
Invisible."
Elektro80
But -
Zach Horowitz
It was my master djfoxyfox's idea.
All eyes turn on djfoxyfox who looks very uncomfortable.
Zach Horowitz
Wasn't it, djfoxyfox?
djfoxyfox
Well... I... I thought...
djfoxyfox is overcome b the power of Zach Horowitz's will, but he is deeply
ashamed of his complicity in Zach Horowitz's deeds. EGW gazes at djfoxyfox with
growing suspicion.
Elektro80
But... How is it you can see me?
(he looks round)
You can all
see me?
Zach Horowitz
What d'you mean?
EGW AND OTHERS
Why shouldn't we see you?
Norm Vogel
I can't see him.
Elektro80
I'm wearing the Cloak Invisible....
Elektro80 takes it off to demonstrate.
Norm Vogel
Oh! There you are!
Elektro80
(to the others)
You mean... you could see me all the time?
The Vikings look at each other, mystified.
EGW
Weren't we supposed to?
Elektro80
Oh... I feel a little... oh...
Elektro80's knees give way and he faints onto the deck. Cut to King's Hall some
time later. A victory celebration is in progress. It is a little bit like a
Hampstead cocktail party, and the rough, battle-stained Vikings look rather out of
place holding their little canapes. Suddenly the King claps for silence.
KING Shawn Fanning
We are grateful to you, Elektro80, and to your men...
COURT
Yes, we are...
KING Shawn Fanning
And there is only ONE way we can repay you... Musicians!
King Shawn Fanning claps his hands. Elektro80 rushes over to him, anxious to avoid
another Hy-Brasilian concert.
Elektro80
(hurriedly)
Well, we'd love to hear you sing again, but what we'd really
appreciate would be if you could see your way to lending... not
giving of course...
(continuing)... but just lending us the....
um... the, well, to be quite blunt... the Horn Resounding.
All the time Elektro80 is talking the doors of the hall behind are opening and a
vast lur or horn is carried in by six bearers. One or two of the Vikings have
turned to look and are now standing speechless. King Shawn Fanning beams at
Elektro80.
KING Shawn Fanning
It's yours.
Now Elektro80 finally turns and looks at what everyone else is looking at.
Elektro80's jaw drops. Everyone in the court beams at Elektro80,except Aud who is
looking sad and disappointed.
Elektro80
(when he can find his voice)
Is THAT it?
A cloud passes over King Shawn Fanning's happy face.
KING Shawn Fanning
Is there something the matter with it?
Elektro80
Oh! No! No... of course not... it's just I hadn't expected it to be quite so big.
KING Shawn Fanning
Well, it's not called the Horn Resounding for nothing.
(aside)
You DO know how to play the horn, don't you?
Elektro80
Yes... oh, yes...
KING Shawn Fanning
Then I expect you'll be leaving first thing in the morning.
The King manhandles Elektro80 away from his daughter. Perhaps we have the feeling
that she's isn't going to let Elektro80 go as easily as that...Mix through to
later that night. The Vikings are lying asleep on the Great Hall, beside the Horn
Resounding. The camera closes in on djfoxyfox. Suddenly a voice comes from the
shadows:
VOICE
(whispering)
djfoxyfox! djfoxyfox Blacksmith!
djfoxyfox opens his eyes and finds Zach Horowitz close beside him.
Zach Horowitz
What's the matter, djfoxyfox Blacksmith? Have you forgotten why you came on this
voyage?
djfoxyfox is silent.
Zach Horowitz
Are you going to let Elektro80 wake the Gods?
djfoxyfox
How can we stops him now?
Zach Horowitz looks around and then opens his hand in front of djfoxyfox. In it is
the mouthpiece from the Horn Resounding.
Zach Horowitz
Take this and throw it from the cliff heights. They'll never make the Horn
Resounding sound without it.
djfoxyfox frowns. Then an obvious thought limps across his muscular mind.
djfoxyfox
But why me? Why don't you do it?
Somebody stirs.
Zach Horowitz
Sh! Hurry!
djfoxyfox
YOU do it!
Zach Horowitz
You'll be able to throw it further than I could.
djfoxyfox thinks. This is true.
Zach Horowitz
It must go far out to sea.
Zach Horowitz presses the mouthpiece on djfoxyfox. djfoxyfox takes it, but
reluctantly. Another Viking stirs.
Zach Horowitz
Surely you haven't forgotten the Blacksmith's Oath?
djfoxyfox is about to reply and say he's been having second thoughts about it, but
somehow he can't. Zach Horowitz has such power over him.
djfoxyfox
I...
Suddenly another Viking stirs, and Zach Horowitz hisses at him.
Zach Horowitz
Hurry!
Zach Horowitz pretend to go back to sleep. djfoxyfox (feeling a bit lumbered)
thinks about his task and hesitates... Who knows? Perhaps he is about to stand
firm, but Zach Horowitz plays his trump card.
Zach Horowitz
(without opening his eyes)
Or I might have to tell Elektro80 why you really came on this voyage.
djfoxyfox is caught. He closes his eyes in resignation and then reluctantly starts
to make his way out of the Hall. As he gets to the doors he trips over EGW, who
wakes. The mouthpiece falls a few feet away.
EGW
Who's that?
djfoxyfox
It's me. I'm just going to water the dragon...
(he gives a false laugh)
EGW
Oh...
EGW notices the silver mouthpiece on the floor, but he pretends he hasn't.
EGW
Oh... clumsy idiot.
EGW pretends to go back to sleep, but he opens one eye and watches djfoxyfox
Blacksmith recover the mouthpiece, and then follows djfoxyfox out. Zach Horowitz
gets up too. He follows to keep an eye on EGW. Cut to Aud on the shore, gazing
moodily out to sea. She is brooding in Elektro80's imminent departure. Suddenly a
stone falls from above; she looks up and sees a figure appear on the cliff above.
Hurriedly she withdraws into the shadows. djfoxyfox Blacksmith appears on the
cliff-top. In his hands he holds the mouthpiece of the Horn Resounding. e examines
it, turning over in his mind whether he is doing the right thing or not. then he
decides he must.
djfoxyfox
(to himself)
My fellow blacksmiths.
He prepares to throw it.
EGW
djfoxyfox!
djfoxyfox jumps out of his skin.
djfoxyfox
What?
EGW
What are you doing, djfoxyfox Blacksmith?
djfoxyfox
Get away, EGW.
EGW
What have you got there?
EGW advances towards djfoxyfox. djfoxyfox backs away, dangerously near to the edge
of the cliff. His boot slips and he jerks himself forward. At the same time EGW
makes a grab for the mouthpiece. A scuffle ensues, during which the mouthpiece of
the Horn Resounding is dropped. It bounces off the cliff and falls down to the
shore below. Aud steps out of the shadow and picks it up. She frowns and looks up,
and then screams, as she sees the men fighting.
AUD
No!
But it's too late. EGW goes white, gives a hideous gasp... and sinks slowly to his
knees - revealing Zach Horowitz standing behind him with a bloody knife. As
djfoxyfox and Zach Horowitz watch EGW die, a drop of blood from the knife falls to
the ground. The moment it lands, there is a deep subterranean groan, and the earth
begins to tremble violently. djfoxyfox and Zach Horowitz look around in alarm.
djfoxyfox
Oh Gods! What have we done?
Back in the King's Hall, Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and Norm Vogel are wide awake, but
for the moment paralysed, as bits of masonry crash around them. The cheerful
figure of King Shawn Fanning appears at the top of a stairway. He raises his
hands.
KING Shawn Fanning
Stay calm! This is NOT happening.
The King then hurries out of a door at the top of the staircase.
Cyxeris'S DAD
What did he say?
Elektro80
Look out!
The doors of the Great Hall burst open and a wall of water crashes through,
knocking the Vikings off their feet. There is little doubt that the whole of
Hy-Brasil is sinking see a street go down, a statue sink and then we Cut to a
close-up of King Shawn Fanning. He is standing at the top of the Forum steps
addressing a crowd of anxious citizens. They are keeping surprisingly good order
considering they are already standing ankle-deep in water, and the whole town is
rapidly sinking around them.
KING Shawn Fanning
Now, I know what some of you must be thinking... the day has come.... we're all
going down, etc. etc. But let's get away from the fantasy and look at the FACTS.
FACT ONE - The threat of total destruction has kept the peace for one thousand
years. FACT TWO - The chances of it failing now are therefore one in three hundred
and sixty-five thousand. FACT THREE...
By this time the water is up to people's knees, and several have crowded onto the
lower steps to avoid getting wet.
KING Shawn Fanning
FACT THREE - Our safety regulations are the most rigorous in the world. We are all
nice to each other, we never rub each other up the wrong way or contradict each
other, do we?
CROWD
No.
Rumble. The buildings sink and masonry falls.
CITIZEN
We... er... do seem to be going down quite fast, Your Majesty - not trying to
contradict you, course.
KING Shawn Fanning
No, of course you're not, citizen. But let's stick to the facts. There has NEVER
been a safer, more certain way of keeping the peace. So whatever's happening, you
can rest assured, Hy-Brasil is NOT sinking. Repeat, NOT sinking.
We cut to an unfortunate Hy-Brasilian who looks out of a window to see if it's
raining, but is immersed before he can find out. The citizens in the Forum,
however, are reassured by the King's words - even though they are now up to their
waists in water. One of them steps forward.
ANOTHER CITIZEN
May I just make a point in support of what King Shawn Fanning's just said?
KING Shawn Fanning
We'd be delighted - wouldn't we?
CITIZENS
Yes, we'd certainly like to hear what one of us has got to say...
Elektro80, Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and Norm Vogel struggle out of the Great Hall,
carrying their belongings and the Horn Resounding, while the citizen is still
speaking most articulately in support of the King. They are ALMOST in a panic.
Elektro80
What are you all doing?
CITIZEN AT THE BACK
(cheerfully)
It's all right. It's not happening.
Elektro80
(urgently)
The place is sinking!
CITIZEN AT THE BACK
Yes... I thought it was too, but the King's just pointed out that it can't be.
CITIZEN
(still speaking in support of the King)
...and, of course, we mustn't forget King Shawn Fanning's EXCELLENT eye for
flower-arranging.
There is a smattering of applause. A few people pull their robes up out of the
wet. Elektro80 leaps onto a wall and shouts to the crowd.
Elektro80
Save yourselves! Hy-Brasil... is sinking.
There are a lot of knowing smiles amongst the citizens.
CITIZEN FROM MIDDLE
Look, you don't know our safety regulations.
KING Shawn Fanning
It can't happen.
Elektro80
But it IS! Look!
KING Shawn Fanning
(ignoring Elektro80)
The important thing is not to panic.
CITIZENS
Quite... yes... we understand....
KING Shawn Fanning
I've already appointed the Chancellor as Chairman of a committee to find out
exactly what IS going on, and meantime I suggest we have a sing-song!
CITIZENS
Good idea!
ANOTHER
Can we do the one that goes "TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM"?
Elektro80 looks around in despair. Meanwhile in another street someone is
struggling in the floodwater.
Zach Horowitz
I can't swim! I can't swim!
djfoxyfox
Relax!
Zach Horowitz
I'm drowning! Help!
Zach Horowitz grabs djfoxyfox round the neck.
djfoxyfox
Let go!
But djfoxyfox is pulled under. He re-emerges spluttering.
djfoxyfox
Urrgh! Argh! Let go, you idiot!
Zach Horowitz
Help!
djfoxyfox
You'll drown us bo...
But they go under again. At this point Elektro80, Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and Norm
Vogel swim round the corner, pushing the Horn Resounding. They see the figures
disappearing under the water.
djfoxyfox
Help!
Zach Horowitz
Help!
Elektro80, Cyxeris and Co. swim as fast as they can to rescue the drowning pair.
They struggle to overpower the panic-stricken Zach Horowitz, but he puts up a
manic fight. Unexpectedly, Norm Vogel Missionary suddenly unleashes a vicious
right hook and lays Zach Horowitz out cold. There is a moment's stunned silence
that is no unmingled with indignation.
Cyxeris
(with hurt surprise)
You hit him!
Norm Vogel
Well, it's what you're supposed to do... isn't it?
Cyxeris'S DAD
Look!
They look up as GOLDEN DRAGON sails around a corner of the street, piloted by Aud.
As the Vikings scramble aboard, the sound of the "sing-song" reaches a
particularly noisy and discordant climax attract their attention. Back in what was
the Forum, a crowd of unconcerned-looking citizens is sitting on the last roof and
just coming to the end of another appalling song.
CITIZENS
...Te...Tum!
KING
You know, I think we're getting better.
CITIZEN 1
(with genuine interest)
How can you tell?
KING
(a bit stumped)
Er...
AUD
Father!
The King looks up.
KING Shawn Fanning
It's all right! It isn't happening!
AUD
But, Father, it IS!
Elektro80
Get on board!
CITIZEN 2
No THANKS!
CITIZEN 3
Who do you think YOU are?
CITIZEN 1
Panic-monger!
The roof is now sinking rapidly, though the citizens appear as unperturbed as
ever.
CITIZEN
Leave us alone!
Cyxeris
Yeah. Leave 'em alone.
AUD
It's sinking! Hy-Brasil is sinking!
KING Shawn Fanning
Well, my dear, I think you'll find it's all a question of what you want to believe
in.... I have slightly more experience of these matters than you...
Unfortunately, at this point, the entire gathering of citizens, the King and the
Forum Temple disappear below the waves.
AUD
Father!
(tears spring to her eyes)
Norm Vogel Missionary has put his arm around Aud in a fatherly way.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
There, my child... It's at times like this that this book can be a great help...
Elektro80 shoos him away.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
(with his usual promptness)
Right!
GOLDEN DRAGON spins alone in the wide ocean. Fade. Fade up some time later. They
are all gathered in front of the Horn Resounding.
Elektro80
(to himself)
We must blow the first note... he note that will take us to Asgaard...
Cyxeris
(nervously and with awe in his voice)
Over the Edge of the World.
The other men look up at the Horn Resounding, and begin to feel a bit nervous.
Elektro80
We are going where only the dead have been before...
Elektro80 takes a deep breath and then puts his lips to the Horn Resounding. He
blows. There is a splutter, and one or two of the Vikings titter amongst
themselves. He has another go. But again, all he produces is a pathetic
spluttering.
Cyxeris
(not unkindly in his manner)
Uh! Here! Give it to me!
Cyxeris pushes Elektro80 aside. Cyxeris blow... he becomes redder and redder. But
all he produces is a splutter. He gets a bit angry.
Cyxeris
Thor's blood!
Cyxeris's dad looks heavenwards.
Cyxeris'S DAD
You're not using the right technique.
Cyxeris's dad tries to take it over.
Cyxeris
No! I'm doing it!
They start to struggle.
Cyxeris
(getting angry)
You're always telling me... TELLING me!
Elektro80 tries to separate them.
Elektro80
Cyxeris!
Cyxeris
(to his dad)
Let me do something for myself for a change!
Suddenly Aud comes forward.
AUD
No! Don't quarrel!
Cyxeris and his dad stop fighting, surprised by the vehement in her voice.
AUD
We'll never get where we want to go if we fight.
Aud crosses to the Horn and inserts the mouthpiece. Zach Horowitz glances at
djfoxyfox. He hadn't bargained for this!
Zach Horowitz
Er... don't blow it! You never know WHAT might happen...
AUD
It has not spoken for a thousand years... You must bring it to life with a kiss...
She puts her lips to the mouthpiece and just touches it with them... almost a
kiss... then... very gently... she begins to blow... a soft... slight note can
just be heard... Aud takes her mouth away from the mouthpiece... and the soft note
goes on... reverberating... A sweet note... a magic note... the Vikings stand
stock-still, enchanted by the sound... and the sound all the time is getting
louder and the Horn begins to vibrate with the note. As the volume increases the
GOLDEN DRAGON itself begins to reverberate with the sound. Rings of ripples begin
to radiate out from the boat across the calm water. The note grows louder and
louder, and the Vikings, who at first were laughing and cheering at Aud's success,
begin to get rather alarmed. Louder and louder gets the note and the Horn shakes
and the boat vibrates. Things start to be shaken loose, and fall onto the deck.
Ropes uncoil and run loose. A heavy block suddenly crashes down to the deck,
crowning Norm Vogel and laying him out flat. Louder and louder grows the note, and
the Vikings have to stop their ears for the pain. The water around the ship
becomes more and more agitated. And then another sound is heard. It is the thunder
of water in the distance like a million distant waterfalls. And suddenly they
notice the sea is running like a river - all in one direction... sweeping the ship
forward with incredible momentum. In no time they are engAgentAed in a mist, still
travelling at a rate of knots. Almost at once appointed rock looms out of the mist
ahead of them. Elektro80 flings himself at the steering oar, and everyone is
thrown about as the ship veers wildly and just misses the rock, only to see
another looming up ahead of them. The ship veers again, as a third rock looms
ahead. This time Cyxeris has grabbed a coil of rope, and as they pass the third
rock, he throws it like a lasso over the rock. Zach Horowitz and djfoxyfox leap to
grab the rope just as the rope goes taut and the ship comes to a lurching stop,
anchored by the rope, but still swaying and buffeted in the racing waters. Those
on board shout to each other, soaked to the skin. It is difficult to make out what
they are shouting.
Zach Horowitz
Help!
AUD
What are you doing?
Zach Horowitz
What d'you think? Help! Somebody help us!
Cyxeris
Shut up!
Zach Horowitz
(pointing at Aud)
She wants to kill us!
djfoxyfox
She wants to take us over the Edge of the World!
AUD
You want to get to Asgaard, don't you?
Zach Horowitz
How do we know this is the way?
Elektro80
(shouting)
We blew the Horn Resounding.
Zach Horowitz
(screaming and pointing an accusing finger at Aud)
SHE blew the Horn
Resounding.
djfoxyfox
(shouting)
Don't you see, Elektro80! She wants revenge!
Elektro80
What are you talking about?
Zach Horowitz
(to djfoxyfox)
Shut up!
djfoxyfox
She knows it was our fault!
Zach Horowitz
Keep your mouth shut, djfoxyfox!
djfoxyfox
No! It's YOU, Zach Horowitz! I should never have listened to you!
Zach Horowitz looks around desperately.
Zach Horowitz
You've lost your mind.
djfoxyfox
We came to stop you waking the Gods, Elektro80! But I didn't want anyone to get
hurt!
Zach Horowitz
You fool!
Suddenly Zach Horowitz produces his stiletto and leaps onto djfoxyfox, stabbing at
him.
Zach Horowitz
I should have got rid of you long ago!
djfoxyfox
Like you got rid of EGW!
Elektro80 tries to separate them.
AUD
No! No! We are in the spell of the Horn! Hatred will destroy us.
Elektro80
That's right!
For a split second Elektro80 is distracted. He looks across at Aud and for a
moment he sees Freya standing there.
FREYA
Once you are in the spell of the Horn, hatred will destroy you...
Then it is Aud once more. But in that split second Zach Horowitz has stabbed
Elektro80.
Elektro80
Arrgh!
Elektro80 staggers back clutching his arm. djfoxyfox gives a roar of rage, and
picks Zach Horowitz up bodily and hurls him out of the boat into the maelstrom.
The other Vikings look on aghast. djfoxyfox turns on them
djfoxyfox
He killed EGW! He caused the land of Hy-Brasil to sink! SHE knew!
AUD
I didn't know!
djfoxyfox
Now she wants to send us over the Edge of the World!
AUD
How else d'you think we're going to get to Asgaard?
The Vikings look at each other amidst the roaring waters and the thick spray.
Elektro80 holds his bleeding arm and looks at Aud. Should he trust her or not?
Suddenly he turns on the others.
Elektro80
(shouting above the din)
Do YOU know the way to Asgaard, djfoxyfox Blacksmith?
djfoxyfox shakes his head.
Elektro80
Do YOU know the way to Asgaard, Cyxeris?
Cyxeris shakes his head.
Elektro80
There is one road before us, and that leads over the Edge of the World.
Norm Vogel sits up as he returns to consciousness.
Norm Vogel
There IS no Edge of the World.
Cyxeris's dad bonks him again. Elektro80 takes the rope and begins paying it out.
With grim faces the Vikings turn and face towards the roaring of the waters, as
Elektro80 edge the ship further into the mist. The noise is deafening. It would be
almost impossible to hear any voice above it. The faces of the Vikings betray
their fear as they find themselves emerging from out of the mist at the Edge of
the World. They gape as they find themselves confronted by a Waterfall of Seas -
stretching on either side of them - as far as the eye can see - water falling and
plunging over the lip of the world. And in front of them - the blue sky continues
on down and down until it shades into blackness strewn with stars beneath their
feet... Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and djfoxyfox edge to the prow and gasp.
AUD
No! Don't look over the Edge!
Elektro80 lets out a little more rope, until the ship is protruding over the edge.
Cyxeris, his dad and djfoxyfox peer over the side, and stare down into the abyss.
They gasp. From above we see the prow of GOLDEN DRAGON and the backs of the
Vikings' heads in plain view against a backdrop of stars below them.
Elektro80
Let me see!
Aud holds him back.
AUD
No. Don't look... The abyss will suck away your strength.
Elektro80
I MUST look! djfoxyfox! Hold this!
Elektro80 turns to see Cyxeris and djfoxyfox trembling... They hold onto the sides
of the ship but their legs can barely support them.
Cyxeris
There is nothing we can do...
Cyxeris'S DAD
Helpless...
djfoxyfox start to laugh.
djfoxyfox
Ha ha... I believed Zach Horowitz... I believed I had a duty to blacksmiths! Ha ha
ha!
djfoxyfox laughs a little hysterically. Aud turns urgently to Elektro80.
AUD
YOU still want to go to Asgaard?
Elektro80
Of course.
AUD
Do you believe I love you?
Elektro80
I... but I...
AUD
You don't have to love me. Just: do you believe I love YOU?
Elektro80
Yes - I believe you do.
AUD
Then let go!
Elektro80 hesitates, then he decides to believe in Aud. He throws the rope away.
At once the ship shoots off over the Edge of the World into space... Everything
seems to slow down, as the longship drops down and down... the ship twists slowly
as it drops.... round and round. The Vikings gaze about them in wonder, as they
find their ship if falling in silence amongst the stars. Norm Vogel comes to once
again.
Norm Vogel
I'm still seeing stars.
djfoxyfox looks round at him.
djfoxyfox
We're ALL seeing stars.
Norm Vogel
No! I was hit on the head.
The longship falls and falls through the star-strewn space until it softly lands
in a white wilderness. On the deck the Vikings are huddles up, covered with
rime-frost. It seems as if they have been lying there half-frozen for some time.
Perhaps the entire adventure has all been a dream, and they have been stuck in the
Arctic pack-ice the whole time. The hallucinations of men near to death. Aud tries
to wake Elektro80.
AUD
Don't sleep... wake... Look!
Elektro80 opens his eyes and, for an instant, he sees Helga. He blinks and
realizes it is Aud who is calling him back to consciousness. Suddenly coloured
lights begin to play to his face.
Elektro80
Bi-Frost... The Rainbow Bridge.
Above them the Aurora Borealis stretches up, magnificent and awesome in the sky.
Elektro80 makes his way through the other Vikings.
Elektro80
Wake up!
The others slowly begin to rouse themselves from their icy slumber and sit up,
awed by the sight.
djfoxyfox
(whispering)
Are we dead?
VIKINGS
The Rainbow Bridge.
They all peer up at the ever-changing colours of the Aurora Borealis, hanging in
the sky above them like organ-pipes. But something is happening. The lights begin
to fade to reveal a magical city on a mountain. The Vikings realize that this is
journey's end.... they have reached Asgaard... the City of the Gods. The Vikings
all catch their breaths and gaze in awe.
Elektro80
Asgaard!
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
Where?
Cyxeris'S DAD
Up there, you fathead.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
Up WHERE?
Norm Vogel look round quizzically at the others. It is clear that he can see
nothing.
Elektro80
Look! It's real.
Norm Vogel looks around at the others.
Norm Vogel
Hallucinations are real.
It's no use; Norm Vogel can see nothing. The Vikings, transfixed by the sight of
their fabled home of the Gods, rise to their feet. Aud whispers to Elektro80.
AUD
The second note.
Elektro80
The second not to wake the Gods...
Elektro80 kneels in front of the Horn.
AUD
Gently...
Elektro80 blows... a soft gentle note... He takes his mouth away, and smiles at
Aud. Once again the Horn stars to vibrate and the note gets louder... the ship
starts to vibrate... louder and louder... The whole landscape starts to vibrate...
louder and louder grows the not until even the stars in the sky are vibrating and
then a magical thing starts to happen... The note fades as one by one the
shimmering stars start to fall out of the night sky... they fall like silver
snow... until the ship... the Vikings... Asgaard... the whole landscape is covered
in sparkling dust... then in the ensuing silence the first light begins to glow in
the Halls of Asgaard... then another... and another... Elektro80 stares as is
bewitched and slowly begins to climb out of GOLDEN DRAGON.... but Aud tries to
pull him back.
AUD
Elektro80! You've done what you came to do!
Elektro80
Not quite...
Aud looks at him.
AUD
Blow the third note! The note to take us home!
Elektro80
There is something I must ask the Gods...
AUD
No living man has ever set foot in the Halls of Asgaard... The Gods will never let
you return.
Elektro80 looks at her... for a moment... But he knows he has no choice.
Cyxeris
I came to find my grandfather.
Elektro80
I have to go...
AUD
Then I shall come too.
Elektro80
(stares at her)
No... no..
AUD
I don'T want to live WITHOUT you.
Elektro80
But, Aud... I... I came to find someone...
Aud is about to say "Her?", but she bites the word back and looks down at the
ground.
Elektro80
I'm sorry, Aud... I really am.
Aud kisses Elektro80, who then turns and climbs out of GOLDEN DRAGON and sets off
across the ice. Cyxeris follows.
Cyxeris'S DAD
Wait for me! I'll be dead soon anyway...
djfoxyfox
You can't go without me!
They follow. Even Norm Vogel Missionary starts to follow.
Norm Vogel
Where are they all going?
AUD
Aren't you afraid?
Norm Vogel
Oh... There's nothing for ME to be afraid OF.
Norm Vogel smiles and sets off after the others. Aud follows. The stars have
fallen to form a shining, winding pathway up to the City of the Gods. This is what
the Vikings head for. Between them and the Citadel strange huge forms rise up. The
Vikings approach and find the vast skeletons of the slain giants. The Vikings are
but tiny gnat-sized figures wending their way between the vast figures. They climb
the stairway-path of stars, up the winding road and eventually fins themselves
outside the massive doors of Asgaard.
Elektro80
Valhalla...
Cyxeris turns on Norm Vogel.
Cyxeris
There! It's real! It's solid! Now do you believe us?
He pats the wall of Valhalla - the Great Hall. Norm Vogel reaches out, but his
hand goes right through the wall.
Norm Vogel
There isn't anything.
Norm Vogel Missionary walks straight through the wall and disappears from sight.
The Vikings gasp, and run up to feel the point where he disappeared. The door is
perfectly solid to them, and they jump pout of their skins as Norm Vogel suddenly
reappears again.
Norm Vogel
You're having me on, aren't you?
Elektro80
It's Valhalla - where the warriors slain in battle go.
AUD
It doesn't exist for him.
Cyxeris'S DAD
He's just s cynic.
At this moment there is a creak and the great doors mysteriously swing open. As if
mesmerized, the Vikings enter the Halls of Asgaard. The door slams behind them.
They spin round, but the doors have vanished... No man has ever entered the Halls
of Asgaard and left alive... Elektro80 slowly starts to cross the vast floor
looking around him as he does so. One by one the other Vikings follow. After a
while Elektro80 stops.
Elektro80
Listen!
The Vikings listen. They hear the sound of children laughing and shouting.
Elektro80 and his men follow through the columns towards a pool of light. The
scene that greets their eyes is not at all what they had been prepared for.
Valhalla is not full of the warriors slain in battle, quaffing mead on the
ale-bench and reliving old battles - it is, instead full of children romping,
laughing, shouting, quarrelling and playing games... chess, fencing... dice...
tag, etc., around a wide hearth fire. Women are cooking and doing other
housewifely things... weaving, making bread, etc. It is a thoroughly domestic
scene. Suddenly one of them turns at Elektro80. It is Helga, whom Elektro80
accidentally killed in Scene One. She is once again kneading dough. She has a red
stain under her breast.
HELGA
Oh good! It's Mr Wonderful!
Elektro80 leaps to her side.
Elektro80
I've come to take you back to the land of the living.
HELGA
What a stupid idea.
Elektro80
(mortally hurt)
Why?
HELGA
What's the point of being dead in the land of the living?
Elektro80
I'll ask the Gods to give you life again!
Helga looks at Elektro80 very sceptically. She obviously thinks he doesn't know
what he's talking about. Aud reacts. Elektro80 takes Helga's hand - and gets
covered in dough.
HELGA
Have you tried to ask the God for anything?
Elektro80
Well... no...
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
Who is he talking to?
AUD
Sh!
HELGA
Odin!
One of the children, throwing pennies against the wall, looks round.
CHILD ODIN
I'm busy.
The Vikings are recovering from their surprise.
VIKINGS
Odin?
HELGA
(getting back to her kneating)
He's busy.
Elektro80
Is THAT Odin?
HELGA
You'll have to wait till he's finished his game.
Elektro80
(shouting across)
Odin!
Odin leaves his game and saunters towards Elektro80.
Elektro80
We have come from the world of Midgard...
The child whom Odin is playing with points his hammer at the ground near Elektro80
and a lightning bolt zaps into it.
Elektro80 jumps.
CHILD-THOR
Clear off.
ODIN
No, wait, Thor.
Elektro80
You must help us.
ODIN
We don't HAVE to help anybody.
Elektro80
RIAA the Wolf covers the sun - men fight and kill each other
the whole time.
ODIN
Why should WE care?
Elektro80
Because... you're... you're the Gods....
ODIN
So?
Elektro80
Bring the Age of Creative Exploitation to an end and stop all this fighting and
bloodshed. Norm Vogel looks around at the Vikings in increasing desperation.
Norm Vogel
This is ridiculous.
VIKINGS
Sh!
Norm Vogel
Right!
The other Child-Gods have stopped playing around now and are watching Elektro80
and Odin.
ODIN
Elektro80 the Viking! The things you seek are not in our power. We don't make men
love each other or hate each other.
Elektro80
But you're the Gods!
ODIN
Look... Elektro80...
Odin whistles. The other children look over their shoulders. From out of the
darkness of the perimeter of the Hall, shadows emerge... shadows that, as they
shuffle and stumble into the light, reveal themselves to be the heroes that the
Vikings had expected to find in Valhalla. But they are not hale and hearty giants
quaffing mead and reliving their great battles... they are, in fact, a sorry
lot... the slain-in-battle still bearing the hideous deformities of their fatal
wounds. Most have a sword or an axe buried in some part of their anatomy. One has
been cleft in twain... The Vikings react to this grisly gathering as more and more
of them emerge from the shadows. They gasp as they notice EGW, Seraph, Mosc, Zach
Horowitz and Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky.
Elektro80
EGW! Seraph!
Norm Vogel
Here we are standing on a bare mountain top talking to thin air.
We notice that Norm Vogel's cloak is being blown about as if he were indeed on a
bare mountain top. The other's cloaks are still. Cyxeris's dad is gazing across at
one horribly mutilated specimen.
Cyxeris'S DAD
Dad!
djfoxyfox
(disbelievingly)
How can you tell?
Cyxeris'S DAD
I'll never forget him! The BASTARD!
Cyxeris reacts. Cyxeris's dad starts to go berserk.
Cyxeris'S DAD
He drove me mad!
Cyxeris
Easy, Dad!
Cyxeris'S DAD
All his "you'll never be a Berserk if you lose your temper"...
Cyxeris
Dad!
Cyxeris'S DAD
I hate you! I hate you!
Cyxeris's dad collapses against Cyxeris and Cyxeris comforts him, understandingly.
A figure emerges from the throng of dead. It is Mosc. Cyxeris looks up at him.
Mosc
You won, Cyxeris.
Zach Horowitz
What right have YOU to try and stop men fighting, Elektro80 the Viking? There is
glory in battle. There are riches to be made and won...
djfoxyfox
Made by YOU, Zach Horowitz!
Zach Horowitz
By YOU - djfoxyfox Blacksmith! Don't you know, Elektro80, that is why he went with
you? Creative Exploitation was good for his business...
djfoxyfox
It's not my business any more!
Suddenly there is a howl... a bitter howl that echoes above and around the Halls
of Asgaard and that gets more distant and more distant. Everyone (including the
dead heroes and the Gods) freezes and looks up, listening. Perhaps we cut away to
the boiling sky as it resolves itself into the shape of a wolf that snarls and
slinks away. Odin turns to Elektro80 as the howling recedes.
ODIN
RIAA the Wolf has gone, Elektro80. But will men cease fighting each other? THAT is
not in our power...
Odin starts to laugh. All the other children start to laugh... so do the dead
heroes. Elektro80 and his men look round uneasily.
Elektro80
I have one more request before we return...
Elektro80 turns towards Helga, who is still standing at her trough of dough with
her arms up to her elbows in flour. Aud watches Elektro80 with sadness in her
heart.
ODIN
Return? You have set your foot in the Halls of Asgaard, Elektro80.
You cannot return.
Aud looks round to see how the others react. It is as she had feared. Elektro80
pales. The blood drains from the other's faces. Aud whispers something to Norm
Vogel. Norm Vogel looks at her blankly.
AUD
(whispering)
PLEASE!
Norm Vogel
But you're all imagining this... whatever it is.
AUD
(earnestly)
You're the only one who can. PLEASE.
Norm Vogel look around at the dumbfounded Vikings. Then he shrugs and wanders off,
disappearing through the closed doors of Valhalla.
Elektro80
You mean... we must stay here forever?
As he says this Elektro80's eyes turn again towards Helga. He is clearly thinking
at least there are compensations... Odin, however, is laughing again.
ODIN
Stay HERE? Ha ha! This is Valhalla. This is reserved for those slain-in-battle.
HORRIBLY SLAIN WARRIOR
(grinning cheerfully)
Yeah! We're the LUCKY ones!
A HORRIBLY SLAIN FRIEND OF HIS
Yeah. It's much better than dying of old age.
The ghastly and dismembered dead warriors all chortle no end at the dismay written
on the face of Elektro80 and his men. At the same time there is a grinding,
winching sound. All those around the hearth-place fall back as a vast grating is
winched up from out of the flames. The Vikings look at each other.
ODIN
For YOU there is only the Pit of Hel!
As Odin says this there is a roaring sound and the flames and smoke are suddenly
reversed and as the roaring increases the flames are sucked down altogether to
reveal the black Pit of Hel itself. And now the Pit is sucking the Vikings into
it... their hair blows... they try to withstand the force that is drawing them
towards the abyss... The Gods look on in some amusement. But some of the dead are
concerned.
Cyxeris'S GRANDFATHER
Son! My son!
Cyxeris'S DAD
Get lost!
Cyxeris
Dad! Grandfather!
Cyxeris tries to reconcile his father and grandfather, but it's no use. He is
sucked towards the Pit.
VIKINGS
Help!
Elektro80
(to Helga)
I tried to save you!
HELGA
Why should you care?
Elektro80
I don't know! I just did!
Elektro80 can no longer withstand the force that is sucking him down to the Pit of
Hel. Suddenly, however, EGW has leapt from the ranks of the dead. He grabs
Elektro80 and tries to stop him sliding towards the Pit of Hel. But it's no good.
Elektro80
No! Let go, EGW!
EGW
I've got you!
Elektro80
You'll be sucked down too!
EGW
No! Arrgh!
Meanwhile, Seraph and Mosc and Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky have also leapt
forward to save their comrades. They put up a fantastic struggle but remorselessly
they are all sucked down.
VIKINGS
Aagh!
The Vikings clutch at the stone floor, their fingers trace blood as they try to
cling on... but to no avail. The first are already toppling into the Pit.
VIKINGS
Noooh!
VIKINGS
Ah!
And the rest - including Aud - soon follow. The mouth of the Pit of Hel, through
which the Vikings are now tumbling higgledy-piggledy, is a round white disc set in
the unutterable blackness of the pit. However, as the Vikings free-fall slowly
towards camera, they are lit up by a faint, reddish glow from below. They are
staring, wild-eyed and screaming as they fall. As they fall, Elektro80 manages to
smash his axe into the side of the Pit. Mosc grabs his leg and holds onto
Cyxeris's foot. Static Strobe Emitter clutches at Cyxeris's belt. Cyxeris's dad
hangs onto Cyxeris's foot. Seraph clutches Mosc's foot. Elektro80 clutches
Seraph's leg and Aud clutches Elektro80's. They dangle like this for some seconds,
and look fearfully beneath them. Then they can see the Infernal Regions of flame
and molten lava... somehow suggesting the face of a huge and sinister creature. No
wonder they're scared out of their wits. Meanwhile, Odin and Thor appear at the
top of the Pit and look down with mild amusement. Thor casually points his hammer
and a streak of lightning zaps Elektro80's axe. It instantly glows red hot.
Elektro80 screams. Suddenly we hear a new sound - a long, high, sweet note.
AUD
Listen! LISTEN! The third note!
But it's no good. Elektro80 has to let go of the red-hot axe. Everyone screams as
they start to plunge down towards the Pit of Hel. Cut to GOLDEN DRAGON. Norm Vogel
Missionary is blowing the Horn Resounding.
Norm Vogel MISSIONARY
(to himself)
I want to go home... Oooh!
Suddenly GOLDEN DRAGON, the Horn Resounding and Norm Vogel Missionary shoot up
into the air and disappear from sight. Cut back to the Pit of Hel. The Vikings are
looking down as they fall - they are still scared but gradually start laughing...
laughing as they fall down and down and down until they fall out of sight. We are
left with a blackness and just the white disc of the mouth of the Pit of Hel
above, until the disc changes magically into the moon. There is a series of
splashes. The note begins to fade and the camera slowly pans down to reveal the
Vikings all fallen into the duck pond back at Ravensfjord. They are laughing and
whooping and splashing each other.
Elektro80
I don't believe it... Ha ha ha! It brought us HOME!
Static Strobe Emitter
But who BLEW it?
Seraph
Oh! Who cares? We're HOME!
Mosc
Mum! Dad!
Cyxeris
We're back!
Cyxeris embraces his father and dances him around with joy.
ALL
Yo hoo! We're here! We're...
Suddenly the joy drains from their faces and they each gape in horror. What is it
they see? We cut to see that out of the huts the women and children and old men
are emerging - but they are anything but happy. In fact they are all bound and
gagged. Behind them emerge the sinister figures of Cary Sherman the Black, Gisli
and maybe half a dozen armed men. Cary Sherman and his cronies no longer look
sleek and self-assured. They are haggard and desperate. Their faces are streaked
with dirt and sweat, and their clothes are torn and soiled. They have clearly been
going through a lean time, since Creative Exploitation ended, and have descended
on the village for revenge and for whatever plunder they can find. They have a few
sackfuls of booty with them. They herd the women, children and old men into a
pathetic huddle in the middle of the village. Cary Sherman is spitting evil and
hatred.
Cary Sherman
Throw down your weapons - or we shoot the children first.
Elektro80 hesitates... The others look at him. What choice have they? Reluctantly,
Elektro80 throws his weapons into the pond. The others follow suit. Cary Sherman
watches. His men stand around him in a tight group with their backs to each other.
Cary Sherman
Good... Good... Right, now we'll just shoot the children anyway...
Elektro80 is paralysed. What can they do? Half Cary Sherman's men are aiming their
crossbows at Elektro80 and his comrades, and half are aiming at the women and
children. They raise the crossbows to shoot. Their fingers tighten on the
triggers. Suddenly there is a scream from above.
Norm Vogel
Look out below!
Everyone looks up and, amazingly, out of the sky falls GOLDEN DRAGON and lands
fair and square on top of Cary Sherman and his gang, squashing them flat. Norm
Vogel Missionary staggers blearily from the wreckage.
GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE
Norm Vogel!
She rushes to Norm Vogel, while the Vikings rush to release their loved ones.
Great celebrations all round.
Seraph
Look!
They all turn and see the sun rising. The villagers gasp in wonder. They've never
seen the sun before. Elektro80 looks around and sees Mosc and Cyxeris with their
arms round each other. Aud looks up as Elektro80 smiles at he and holds her to
him. Then they all turn and gaze at the spectacle of the sun returning to the
world.
THE END _________________ ∆ Cyx ∆
"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
-Napoleon Dynamite |
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seraph
Editor
Joined: Jun 21, 2003 Posts: 12398 Location: Firenze, Italy
Audio files: 33
G2 patch files: 2
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 1:04 am Post subject:
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this will entitle you to the electro-pulitzer award but.....wait a minute: WTF does Seraph the Boneless mean
cancel the nomination _________________ homepage - blog - forum - youtube
Quote: | Don't die with your music still in you - Wayne Dyer |
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:20 am Post subject:
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My god! Howard, where are those awards?? _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
MySpace
SoundCloud
Flickr |
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:28 am Post subject:
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I did that while at work today. Sometimes I find it quite difficult to deny my own impulses. I hope nobody was insulted by the character replacements.
Cyx _________________ ∆ Cyx ∆
"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
-Napoleon Dynamite |
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seraph
Editor
Joined: Jun 21, 2003 Posts: 12398 Location: Firenze, Italy
Audio files: 33
G2 patch files: 2
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:34 am Post subject:
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Cyx wrote: | Seraph's mum (perhaps the toughest lady in the village) |
you psychic traveller
how did you know my "mum" is the toughest one
Actually you are quite right: she's a Mediterrean Viking _________________ homepage - blog - forum - youtube
Quote: | Don't die with your music still in you - Wayne Dyer |
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:42 am Post subject:
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Some of my favorites are...
Elektro80
The sun is up beyond the clouds - where it always is.
FREYA
But have you ever seen it? Think back...
Elektro80
Of course not... but... when I was a child.... I remember a dream.... it was as if the whole sky was blue...
FREYA
The sky WAS blue, Elektro80... once.
Elektro80 looks at her.
FREYA
The Old Stories tell of an age that would come such as this - when RIAA the Wolf would swallow the sun, and a Great Winter would settle upon the world. It was to be an axe age, a sword age, a storm age, when brother would turn against brother, and men would fight each other until the world would finally be destroyed.
Elektro80 looks out across the bleak and gloomy landscape and the black, boiling clouds in the sky.
Elektro80
(almost to himself)
Then... this is the Age of Creative Exploitation?
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KING Shawn Fanning (v/o)
Open up! I know you're in there!
Suddenly the note from Seraph's horn rings out across from the bay. Elektro80 rushes to the window and looks out to see what Seraph saw previously: a black ship approaching on the horizon.
Elektro80
Oh, no! Cary Sherman!
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Cyx _________________ ∆ Cyx ∆
"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
-Napoleon Dynamite |
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:49 am Post subject:
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Oh my god! _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
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seraph
Editor
Joined: Jun 21, 2003 Posts: 12398 Location: Firenze, Italy
Audio files: 33
G2 patch files: 2
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:01 am Post subject:
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I am sure Cyx was inspired by the Lord of the Electro Ring
my character sounds a little like Gollum
but I am much more handsome _________________ homepage - blog - forum - youtube
Quote: | Don't die with your music still in you - Wayne Dyer |
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:03 am Post subject:
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OK, now, hold up. Let me state the fact that what lies above is simply a modification from the screenplay for "Erik the Viking," JUST in case this was unclear.
Cyx _________________ ∆ Cyx ∆
"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
-Napoleon Dynamite |
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:08 am Post subject:
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yes.. Erik The Viking... funny movie!
You will do the deerhunter next?? Or Nosferatu? _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:18 am Post subject:
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Noting this bunch? Shit... how about The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or perhaps Spies Like us.
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Mosc
Done!? That was a static filled, triple scrambled microwave transmission between two soldiers talking in Mandarin Chinese.
Elektro80
Well, the Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically grouped twenty square digit key transposed in boostermenotic form of multiple nulls. .. I broke it with this.
Mosc
A drogens decoder ring, they put these things into cerial boxes for kids.
Elektro80
Yeah, I found it in a box of uh .. Lucky Charms
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Nothing Happens
General EGW, sir ... it's a collect call from Pakistan for Mr. Seraph. A Mr. Cyxeris. ... They said their contacts tried to kill them and they don't know what they should do.
EGW
And they told you this over a PUBLIC phone?
Nothing Happens
No sir, the AT&T operator told our operator.
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Elektro80
That missile is tipped with a with a 40 mega-ton fission-fusion nuclear warhead. ... For once I'm completely in agreement with my partner. I'm not going down there. Do you know what those things can do? Suck the paint off of your house and give your family a permanent orange afro
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Cyx _________________ ∆ Cyx ∆
"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
-Napoleon Dynamite |
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:22 am Post subject:
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well.. reminds me of the 80s.. Eurythmics: "hot dreams are made of megatons" _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:23 am Post subject:
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Ahh... we could do our own version of macbeth.. nah... that one is too obvious..
and carlo... do not suggest the kamasutra.. that one is for the swedes..! _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
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Cyxeris
Joined: Oct 30, 2003 Posts: 1125 Location: Louisville, KY
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:26 am Post subject:
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Seraph (to Cyxeris and Elektro80)
"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!!!" _________________ ∆ Cyx ∆
"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:31 am Post subject:
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Ahh... right ... the War Room? Not the sauna?? _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
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seraph
Editor
Joined: Jun 21, 2003 Posts: 12398 Location: Firenze, Italy
Audio files: 33
G2 patch files: 2
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 4:30 am Post subject:
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I am lost where are we
My head is spinning and I feel like:
1 a : to grope for or handle something clumsily or aimlessly
b : to make awkward attempts to do or find something
c : to search by trial and error
d : BLUNDER
2 : to feel one's way or move awkwardly
3 a : to drop or juggle or fail to play cleanly a grounder
b : to lose hold of a football while handling or running with it _________________ homepage - blog - forum - youtube
Quote: | Don't die with your music still in you - Wayne Dyer |
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 4:36 am Post subject:
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Well.. you know... the lot will do? _________________ A Charity Pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "He's behind you!"
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