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The Elektro80 Story (have fun ;-)
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Cyxeris



Joined: Oct 30, 2003
Posts: 1125
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:50 pm    Post subject: The Elektro80 Story (have fun ;-) Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Blackness.

Flames begin to lick upwards from the bottom of the screen. Suddenly all hell

breaks loose. Screaming, yelling. Black figures flash across the foreground, with

the flames still burning behind. There follows a confusion of burning, raping,

killing and looting - we don't clearly see what's going on. Suddenly we cut to the

interior of a hut. The door is in the process of being broken down. The camera

pans onto the close-up face of an attractive girl who is staring in horrified

fascination at the door. Her arms are white with fresh dough and flour. Suddenly

the door bursts open and a wild-looking Viking leaps into the hut. He holds a

sword. He looks around wildly and then his eyes come to rest on the girl.

This Viking, I'm afraid, is Elektro80. We are about to see him in the worst

possible light so be prepared.

The girl, whose name is Helga, cowers, and looks terrified but resolute. Elektro80

glances round. Then slowly he advances on the girl, forcing her back onto a chest.

Elektro80 holds his sword to Helga's throat with his right hand, while his left

hand searches to find the thongs holding up his trousers. He is clearly having

difficulties trying to hold his heavy sword to Helga's throat at he same time as

undoing his trousers. He fumbles and lowers his sword for a moment.


HELGA

Have you done this sort of thing before?


Elektro80

Me? Of course! I've been looting and pillaging up and down the coast.


HELGA

(looking sceptical)

Looting and pillaging, eh?


Elektro80

(on the defensive)

Yes.


HELGA

What about the raping?


Elektro80

Shut up.


HELGA

It's obvious you haven't raped anyone in your life.


Elektro80

Sh!


He covers her mouth with his free hand, and looks round to make sure no one's

heard. Then he carries on trying to undo his trousers, but he is now somewhat more

than half-hearted about it. Helga watches suspiciously.


HELGA

Do you LIKE women?


Elektro80 is clearly shocked and stung by the insinuation. He stops.


Elektro80

Of course I like women... I LOVE 'em.


HELGA

(pointing out the obvious)

You don't love ME.


Elektro80

No... right... this is RAPE... Mark you, I'm not saying I couldn't get to like

you... in fact... well, to be quite honest, I prefer it when there's some sort of

mutual feeling between two people...


HELGA

What - rape?


Elektro80

No. It isn't rape then, is it?


HELGA

Oh, get it over with.


Elektro80

(hesitates again)

I don't suppose... no...


HELGA

What?


Elektro80

I don't suppose you... you DO like me at all?


HELGA

What d'you expect? You come in here, burn my village, kill my family and try to

rape me...


This is too much for Elektro80. We withers under the irony.


Elektro80

I'll kill you if you say anything about this to anyone.


HELGA

(puzzled)

About raping me?


Elektro80

About NOT raping you...


HELGA

You DON'T like it, do you?


Elektro80

Well it just seems a little bit crude, that's all.


HELGA

What about the killing and looting? That's just as crude, isn't it?


Elektro80

Oh well - you've GOT to do them.


HELGA

Why? Why have you got to go round killing and looting?


Elektro80

To pay for the next expedition, of course.


HELGA

But that's a circular argument! If the only reason for going on an expedition is

the killing and looting and the only reason for the killing and looting is to pay

for the next expedition, they cancel each other out.


Elektro80

Oh! Stop talking as if we were married!


HELGA

Well you started it.


Elektro80

I just said I didn't feel like raping you.


HELGA

And I was just saying that rape is no MORE pointless or crude than all the killing

and looting that goes on. Elektro80 vents of his frustration on the already

shattered door.


Elektro80

Scream.


HELGA

Ah.


Elektro80

Louder.


HELGA

Aaagh! Rape!


Elektro80

(he'd forgotten about that)

Oh, thanks


Two more Vikings burst in with eyes blazing. They have the very unfortunate names

of Ernest and Jennifer, but it doesn't really matter, for reasons which will

become obvious very quickly. They are also slightly drunk.


ERNEST

Rape?


JENNIFER

Where?


Jennifer the Viking sways and leans against a door post. The marauder's eyes come to rest on Elektro80 and Helga who are standing, fully clothed, about six feet

apart. They look slightly puzzled.


HELGA

He raped me standing up.


There is a pause. Elektro80 looks up at Helga. Why has she saved his face by telling this lie? Jennifer the Viking turns to Elektro80.


JENNIFER

You finished, then?


Elektro80

Oh... yes... I suppose so...


ERNEST

Right! Me first!


JENNIFER

No! I asked!


Ernest leaps on top of Helga and pins her to the ground. Jennifer joins in.

Elektro80 looks stunned for a moment. Then he suddenly leaps to Helga's defence.


Elektro80

Leave her alone!


He pulls Jennifer off, but Jennifer fights back. Elektro80 forces Jennifer back

until he falls into the kneading trough. They fight in the dough for some moments,

until Elektro80 runs Jennifer through. The dough is stained red, and the film is

rid of such an inappropriately named Viking once and for all.


Elektro80 then turns his attention on Ernest who is still on top of Helga. Without

a moment's hesitation, Elektro80 runs him through the back. Ernest screams. So

does Helga. Elektro80 turns white, and pulls out his sword. Ernest falls over into

a heap with his co-misnomer, and Elektro80 kneels beside Helga to find a

bloodstain under her breast where he has inadvertently run her through. She is

clearly not long for this world.


HELGA

Thanks for saving me from a fate worse than death.


Elektro80

I didn't mean to!


HELGA

(gasping for breath)

Oh, that's all right then... it's the thought... that counts...


Elektro80 cradles her head and tries helplessly to staunch the blood.


Elektro80

You told them I raped you - why?


HELGA

(dying)

I dunno... you looked so... so vulnerable...


Elektro80

Why should you care?


HELGA

(dying)

Why... should YOU care?


Elektro80

Tell me your name?


Helga looks up at him, but dies in his arms, without ever saying her name.


Elektro80

Tell me... what IS it...?


Elektro80 realizes she has gone. He gazes at her for some time. He looks around at

the two dead bodies beside them. Then he listens to the sound of raping and

slaughter continuing on the outside. Screams and bloodthirsty shuts echo alongside

the roar of flames and the cries of animals. The camera tracks into a big close-up

on Elektro80.


Superimpose the title: Elektro80 THE VIKING:


Second title: TIM ROBBINS.


Mix through to wide shot of the burning village. Figures running here and there.

Superimpose the rest of the opening titles. By the last of the opening titles the

last of the flames are dying down.


Cut to a close-up of a very loud-looking Viking screaming into the camera, as he

hurls an axe. This Viking's name is Mosc Skull- Splitter. The axe thuds into the

wall a few inches away from the face of a frightened girl, Unn, who is pinned to

the wall with her braids spread out. The Vikings are hurling axes at her a la Kirk

Douglas in THE VIKINGS.


Several Vikings sitting at ale-bench, laugh in a rather unpleasant way. Elektro80,

however, frowns. He is sitting at a table on a dais, next to his grandfather, the

chief of the village. His grandfather almost chokes with merriment. Elektro80's

mother glances at him with some hostility. Meanwhile the drunken Mosc has just

lifted the totally legless Seraph the Boneless up off the floor and presses an axe

into his hand. A tremor of nervousness ripples round the females in the Mead Hall.

Seraph is clearly in no condition to throw anything, except, perhaps, the contents

of his stomach. Unn winces. Finally, amidst much giggling, Seraph throws wildly,

and the axe smashes into a jug being carried by one of the serving girls. The

menfolk erupt into drunken hysterics at this. The women clearly feel that the

occasion is getting out of hand. But before any of them can work up enough courage

to intervene, Mosc Skull-Splitter has thrust an axe into the hands of the even

more plastered Cyxeris the Berserk. Now Cyxeris is not the Viking to let a little

matter like not being able to see straight stop him heaving the axe at a young

maiden. He takes the axe and whirls it wildly over his head. Even the other

drunken Vikings realize this could be dangerous, and they cower behind the table.

Cyxeris lets go of the axe. Unn shuts her eyes prepared for the worst. There is a

dull thud and a grunt and then a whoop of mirth. Unn opens her eyes to find that

the axe has come to rest in the back of a totally stupefied Viking who merely

slumps forward onto the table he is sitting at. On the opposite side sits Norm

Vogel Missionary, a rather seedy cleric who has long since given up trying to

convert the pagans and found solace in their mead. He thinks about intervening,

but decides that it's a bit late really and that he might as well finish off his

ale-cup instead. GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE (his only admirer) refills it for him. At this

moment, however, the axe-throwers have run out of axes, so, as they go to retrieve

the ones they've thrown, Norm Vogel Missionary salves his conscience by lurching

across to the unfortunate Unn. He pokes his dog-eared bible under her nose.


Norm Vogel

If you were thinking of converting, my dear, this would be an IDEAL opportunity...


UNN

Not now!


Norm Vogel

(who is used to rebuffs)

No, of course not...

(he hesitates)

You might not get another chance, you know...


UNN

Go away.


At this moment another axe thuds into the wall, speeding up Norm Vogel's desire to

get back to the ale-bench.


Norm Vogel

Yes, of course... I'll pray for you anyway, my dear...


Suddenly an axe shatters a large earthware vessel.


Norm Vogel

Yes.. That's what I'll do...


Norm Vogel scuttles back to the ale-bench as fast as he can. Elektro80 meanwhile,

stares in astonishment as, for a fleeting moment, he sees Helga, the girl he

accidentally killed, standing there with her braids spread out in place of Unn. He

shakes his head and the vision passes. In the meantime, however, Seraph's mum

(perhaps the toughest lady in the village) has decided that enough is enough.

Seraph'S MUM

Let her go!


Mosc

Why?


VIKINGS

Yes, why?


Cyxeris THE BERSERK

Why should we let er go?


Mosc

We haven't hit a single braid yet!


The Vikings all guffaw. Seraph's mum has had enough. She throws the contents of a

jug of ale over Mosc. He is shocked, but after the first shock he grins evilly,

because now he's been given carte blanche to do the thing he enjoys doing most.

Without another thought he throws a vicious right hook at Seraph's mum and lays

her out cold. Elektro80 reacts with disgust. His grandad, however, gives a whoop

of glee.

GRANDAD

Whoah! Heee! That showed her!


Meanwhile a little shrivelled old man is jumping up and down.


SayersWeb THE OLD

Hey! He hit my wife!


SayersWeb starts to go for Mosc, but Gretta beats him to it. She grabs one of the

long-handled cooking griddles from the fires and swings it at Mosc. Mosc, however,

ducks, and the red-hot griddle hits Cyxeris the Berserk, who is standing with his

back to Mosc. Cyxeris screams and goes berserk, turning round and hitting Mosc who

is now standing upright again.


SayersWeb THE OLD

Leave him alone.


SayersWeb hits Cyxeris. Redskull hits SayersWeb and a general fight breaks out.

Elektro80's grandad clearly considers this the highlights of the evening, but

Elektro80 looks at it in disgust and at his grandad in despair. Eventually he gets

up and walk out of the Mead Hall. His grandad notices and frowns. He knows

something's wrong with his grandson but hasn't a clue what it could be.

Elektro80's mother frowns and nods to his grandad. Grandad gets up and fights his

way through the melee to follow Elektro80 out of the Hall. The snow lies thick

over the village as Elektro80's grandfather joins his grandson beside the little

quay. Elektro80 is staring broodily into the night.


GRANDFATHER

What's the matter, son?


Elektro80 doesn't reply. His grandfather glances back at the Mead Hall, whence the

sound of the fight drift across the snow.


GRANDFATHER

We're missing all the fun...


Elektro80

What's it all about?


GRANDFATHER

What?


Elektro80

We toil and labour, we loot and pillage, rape and kill... and yet...


GRANDFATHER

You talking piffle, son?


Elektro80

Where does it all get us, Grandpa?


GRANDFATHER

Who have you been talking to?


Elektro80

I met this girl...


GRANDFATHER

It's always the women that start the trouble.


Elektro80

She got me thinking...


GRANDFATHER

So? What'd you do to her?


Elektro80 stops in his tracks - as if brought up short by the horror of what he

has done.


Elektro80

I... I... KILLED her...


GRANDFATHER

That's my boy!


Elektro80's grandfather gives him a paternal hug. Elektro80 looks at him and

thinks about the generation gap. Cut to feet running in the snow. It is day.


Elektro80

Freya!


Elektro80 looks around him and calls out again.


Elektro80

Freya!


Elektro80 runs into the distance - a small figure against the dramatic wintry

landscape.


Cut to a remote, barren mountainside. Elektro80 climbs up into shot, and continues

climbing until he reaches a cave. He enters it. As his eyes get used to the dark

he can make out a few signs of life: a cooking pot on a fire, a straw bed, a pile

of rune-sticks.


Elektro80

Freya? Freya?


There is a bundle of rags behind Elektro80. A head rises from it. This is Freya.


FREYA

Ah... Elektro80... Elektro80 the "Viking"...


It is not clear whether her words are not a little mocking.


FREYA

Now what CAN you want with me, Elektro80 the "Viking"?


Elektro80

I shouldn't have come.


FREYA

They will make fun of you for listening to an old woman's stories?


Elektro80 doesn't reply. Freya watches him craftily.


FREYA

Young men are only interested in fighting and killing.


Elektro80 looks up at her sharply. It is as if she has read his mind.


Elektro80

But has it always been like that, Freya? From the beginning of time?


Freya doesn't reply. Instead she walks to the mouth of the cave. Elektro80 follows

her. They look out at the grey, desolate landscape. Nothing but arctic wastes,

snow and desolation. Above them the black clouds boil ceaselessly.


FREYA

What do you see, Elektro80?


Elektro80

I see the world.


FREYA

I it night or day, Elektro80?


Elektro80

It is day, of course, Freya.


FREYA

Is it summer or winter, Elektro80?


Elektro80 looks round at the snowy wastes and ten back at Freya, puzzled.


Elektro80

The winter is past, thank goodness, Freya. It is summer.


Freya puts her face close to Elektro80's and peers into his eyes.


FREYA

Have you ever seen the sun, Elektro80?


Elektro80

The sun is up beyond the clouds - where it always is.


FREYA

But have you ever seen it? Think back...


Elektro80

Of course not... but... when I was a child.... I remember a dream.... it was as if

the whole sky was blue...


FREYA

The sky WAS blue, Elektro80... once.


Elektro80 looks at her.


FREYA

The Old Stories tell of an age that would come such as this - when RIAA the Wolf

would swallow the sun, and a Great Winter would settle upon the world. It was to

be an axe age, a sword age, a storm age, when brother would turn against brother,

and men would fight each other until the world would finally be destroyed.

Elektro80 looks out across the bleak and gloomy landscape and the black, boiling

clouds in the sky.


Elektro80

(almost to himself)

Then... this is the Age of Creative Exploitation?


Freya turns to go back into the cave.


Elektro80

Wait, Freya!


Elektro80 re-enters the cave.


Elektro80

Is there nothing men can do?


FREYA

The Gods are asleep, Elektro80.


Elektro80

I will go and wake them up!


Freya turns and looks at him. She clearly enjoys his earnest enthusiasm, but is

afraid he doesn't know what he is talking about.


Elektro80

Tell me what I must do, Freya!


Freya thinks for some moments. The she speaks.


FREYA

Elektro80... Far out in the midst of the Western Ocean there is a land... men call

it Hy-Brasil. There you will find a horn that is called Resounding. You must take

the Horn Resounding, and three times you must blow it. The first note will take

you to Asgaard. The second will awaken the Gods, and the third note will bring you

home. But remember... once you are in the spell of the Horn, hatred will destroy

you.


Elektro80 turns to go and then hesitates.


Elektro80

And will the dead ever return, Freya?


FREYA

That I cannot tell you.


Cut to a big close-up of a head being banged on the ground. It is Mosc

Skull-Splitter's. The person doing the banging is an enraged Cyxeris the Berserk.

Suddenly Elektro80 pushes his way through the crowd and separates them. There is

general disgruntlement all round, and murmurs of: "Who does he think he is?"


Elektro80'S GRANDAD

What are you doing, Elektro80? Mosc just said Cyxeris'S GRANDFATHER


died of old age.


SayersWeb THE OLD

They must fight to the death.


Mosc SKULL-SPLITTER

That's right! Cyxeris must kill me.


OTHERS

Yes. Stay out of this. What's it to do with you?

(etc)

Cyxeris grids his teeth and struggles to get at Mosc, but Elektro80 still keeps

them apart.


Elektro80

Aren't you afraid of death, Mosc Skull-Splitter?


Mosc shrugs.


Mosc

Not death by the sword! It means I shall drink in Valhalla with the great

warriors.


Cut away To Norm Vogel Missionary engaged in his usual business of chatting up any

available female.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

You don't still believe in all that Valhalla stuff, do you?


Gretta THE FEMALE

Go away.


Norm Vogel

Fine... right... just checking.


He moves off.


Elektro80

And you, Cyxeris, aren't you afraid of crossing the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard?


Cyxeris

I will join my grandfather there.


Mosc

He's not in Valhalla! He died of old age!


Cyxeris

You liar!


They start trying to kill each other again, and crash through a fence into the

pig-sty. Pigs squeal and run in all directions.


Elektro80

Stop it!


OTHERS

Leave them alone! Keep out of it, Elektro80!


The others pull Elektro80 away.


GRANDAD

There's only one way to settle it.


EVERYONE

Yes!


Mosc

He MUST kill me!


EVERYONE

Yes! That's right!

(etc)

Cyxeris struggles again to oblige, and they both topple into the duck pond.

Elektro80 dives back to keep them apart.


Elektro80

There is another way.


GRANDAD

Who gets killed?


Elektro80

Nobody gets killed.


Mosc

Oh, well...


He starts attacking Cyxeris again. Elektro80 decides there is only one way to make

his point. He lets fly with his fists and lays both the antagonists out for a

moment.


Elektro80

But it will be dangerous. Maybe none of us will return.


EGW THE MISERABLE

Ah well, that's much more sensible than just Mosc getting killed. Shall we all go

and pack now?


Cyxeris

What are you talking about, Elektro80?


Elektro80

What if we could find Bi-Frost the Rainbow Bridge?


This causes a sensation amongst everyone watching, on the lines of "You can't do

that" and so on. They scoff at Elektro80.


Mosc

(in disbelief)

FIND the Rainbow Bridge?


Elektro80

Find it... AND cross it!


Super-sensation amongst everyone - except for Norm Vogel Missionary who shakes his

head sadly.


Norm Vogel

Look! You can't find somewhere that doesn't exist.


GRANDAD

(to Norm Vogel)

Shut up!


Norm Vogel shrugs.


Cyxeris

Only the dead reach Asgaard, Elektro80.


Elektro80

What's the matter? Are you afraid to try?


Mosc and Cyxeris are put on the defensive.


Mosc

Of course we're not afraid to try, but...


Elektro80 rounds on Mosc, sensing he had the advantage.


Elektro80

"But" what?


Mosc

But...


Elektro80

What?


Mosc's mental powers find it hard to articulate any proposition on such a vast

metaphysical concept. Cyxeris comes to his rescue.


Cyxeris

Nobody's ever crossed the Rainbow Bridge to Asgaard.


Elektro80

We'd be the first!


EGW

You mean we'd be dead?


Elektro80

No! We'd be the first living men to set foot in the Halls of the Gods.


Pause. Uncomfortable shifting.


Cyxeris

But HOW?


Elektro80

I don't know - but I'm not afraid to try.


Mosc

Well I'M certainly not, either.


Cyxeris

Neither am I.


Elektro80

Then you'll come.


Norm Vogel

But there isn't such a place as... Look...


Mosc & Cyxeris

Shut up!


Elektro80

What d'you say?


Cyxeris

Well... I'm game.


Mosc

Me too.


Elektro80 grins. He has persuaded them against their will.


GRANDAD

Aren't you going to go on fighting?


Cyxeris & Mosc

No.


OTHERS

Oh...


There is general disappointment all around.


Seraph THE BONELESS

Oh, go on...


GRANDAD

Just have a bit of a fight.


SayersWeb THE OLD

I'LL fight someone.


GRANDAD

You're too old.


SayersWeb THE OLD

No, I ain't.


Cut to an adze striking timber. The Viking's ship, GOLDEN DRAGON, is being

repaired and fitted out for a JOURNEY. Elektro80 is there, directing operations.

The camera tracks through all the activity and finally comes to rest on djfoxyfox

Blacksmith. He is a magnificent mountain of a man in an Arnold Schwarzeneggarish

sort of way. He hammers a sword, and sparks fly, but his eyes keep returning to

the preparations for the voyage. Clearly something is worrying him. His assistant,

Zach Horowitz, sidles up to him.

Zach Horowitz

Wish you were going too?


djfoxyfox grunts angrily and plunges the sword into cold water. Steam and bubbles.


Zach Horowitz

But you CAN'T because you're too busy.


djfoxyfox pulls the sword out of the water and tests it. It slices like as razor,

Zach Horowitz watches.


Zach Horowitz

Ooh, that's a good one! You could charge Cary Sherman fifteen for that one.


djfoxyfox

Yes, it is good. But I told him ten.


Zach Horowitz

You could charge him what you like.


Zach Horowitz takes the sword from djfoxyfox and stacks it alongside a lot more

freshly made swords.


Zach Horowitz

You just can't make enough swords and spears and knives and daggers to satisfy the

demand. You could charge Cary Sherman twenty and he'd pay it.


djfoxyfox

(shocked)

Oh, I couldn't do that! The Blacksmith's Code says...


Zach Horowitz

Yes yes... of course.... the "Blacksmith's Code"...


djfoxyfox goes back to his forge and pulls out a fresh dollop of white-hot ore.

Zach Horowitz comes up behind him.


Zach Horowitz

If this IS the Age of Creative Exploitation, djfoxyfox Blacksmith, it is GOOD to

us.


djfoxyfox

(banging with his hammer)

Can't make enough swords!


Bang! Bang! Bang!


djfoxyfox

Can't make enough axe-heads!


Bang! Bang! Bang!


Zach Horowitz

But, djfoxyfox, if Elektro80 ever finds the Horn Resounding... if he ever crosses

Bi-Frost, the Rainbow Bridge... if he ever wakens the gods..


djfoxyfox stops smiting the metal on his forge. He stares into space.


djfoxyfox

They chase RIAA the Wolf from the sky...


Zach Horowitz

The Age of Creative Exploitation ends...


djfoxyfox

The bottom falls out of the sword business!


Zach Horowitz

It's not just YOUR livelihood that's at stake but your son's, and the livelihood

of ALL blacksmiths.


djfoxyfox

(this touches a nerve in his muscular mind)

My brother blacksmiths!


Zach Horowitz

That's right.


djfoxyfox

The Blacksmith's Code says I must...


Zach Horowitz

Honour and protect all blacksmiths.


djfoxyfox

(as if reciting his oath)

Together we stand!


Zach Horowitz

You can't let Elektro80 do THAT.


Zach Horowitz smiles. He has djfoxyfox playing into his hands, although djfoxyfox

doesn't realize it. Fade. Cut to some days later. The expedition is set to leave.

Mosc Skull-Splitter taking leave of his mum and dad.


Mosc'S MUM

And you've got BOTH axes?


Mosc

Yes, Mother.


Mosc'S MUM

And something to sharpen them with?


Mosc

Yes, Mum.


Mosc'S MUM

And don't forget: never let your enemy get behind you.


Mosc

No, Mother.


Mosc'S MUM

And keep your sword greased.


Mosc

Yes, Mother. Goodbye, Dad.


Mosc'S DAD

And don't forget to was - you know - ALL over.


Mosc

No, Dad.


Mosc'S MUM

And if you have to kill somebody, KILL them! Don't stop to think about it.


Mosc

(mildly)

I never do...


Cut to Cyxeris the Berserk who is also being lectured. The lecture is coming from

his father - AgentA the Maddeningly Calm.


Cyxeris'S FATHER

(sotto voce)

It's a tradition.


Cyxeris

I know, Dad.


Cyxeris'S FATHER

I was a Berserk for King Chomsky Fairhair...


Cyxeris

You went berserk...


Cyxeris'S FATHER

I went berserk in every battle I ever fought for King Crimson...


Cyxeris

So did your father...


Cyxeris'S FATHER

So did my father and his father before him.


Cyxeris

But it's a responsibility...


Cyxeris'S FATHER

But it's a responsibility being a Berserk.


Cyxeris

I must only let the red rage...


Cyxeris'S FATHER

You must only let the red rage take hold of you in the thick of battle.


Cyxeris

(losing his temper)

I KNOW! I'VE HEARD IT ALL I THOUSAND TIMES!


A sudden silence falls, as all the village turns to stare nervously at Cyxeris. He

goes berserk and demolishes a nearby hut with his head. AgentA the Maddeningly

Calm shakes his head.


Cyxeris'S FATHER

No no... you'll never make a Berserk. If you let it out now you'll have nothing

left for battle...


Seraph'S MUM

Besides... it's dangerous.


Cyxeris'S FATHER

(gloomily)

It's the end of a family tradition.


In another corner of the village Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky is standing with

his pregnant girlfriend.


GIRL

Bye, Static Strobe Emitter.


Static Strobe Emitter

Bye... sorry...


GIRL

Yeah... well...


Static Strobe Emitter

You will wait?


GIRL

What d'you expect me to do?


She takes a bracelet off her arm and gives it to Static Strobe Emitter.


GIRL

Wear this for luck.


Static Strobe Emitter looks at it.


Static Strobe Emitter

That's why they call me... Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky.


GIRL

Please.


Cut to Norm Vogel Missionary dumping a bag on board the ship. GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE


is helping him. EGW looks at him in surprise.


EGW

YOU coming? You don't even believe in Asgaard.


Norm Vogel

I thought I might do a bit of business on the way.


EGW

You're wasting your time.


Norm Vogel

Listen. I've been in this dump for sixteen years and I haven't made a single

convert...


EGW

There was Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife. You converted HER.


Norm Vogel

Thorbjorn Vifilsson's wife became a Buddhist, not a Christian.


EGW

Same thing, isn't it?


Norm Vogel

No, it is NOT.


Meanwhile in another part of the village, Zach Horowitz is strapping a large

consignment of swords onto a pony. He glances round and then sneaks surreptiously

out of the village, over the barren hills of Norway, under the boiling black skies

of Creative Exploitation. Back at the quayside, GOLDEN DRAGON is ready for the

journey. Elektro80 addresses the villagers.


Elektro80

Well... we'll be off now...


Elektro80's grandad waits for some time before he realizes that Elektro80 isn't

intending to say anything else.


GRANDAD

You need to say a bit more than that!


Elektro80

Oh... er... yes...


The faces of the village-folk turn towards him. There are many moist eyes.

Elektro80's mother starts to cry.


Elektro80

Oh, there, Mum...

(he turns and addresses everyone)

Don't be sad.... You all know why we're going, so don't grieve. Maybe untold

dangers do lie ahead of us, and some of you may well be looking at the one you

love for the last time...


Someone bursts out sobbing. Elektro80 desperately tries to rally their spirits.


Elektro80

But don't grieve! Even tough the Hordes of Muspel tear us limb from limb... or the

Fire Giants burn each and every one of us to a cinder...


More crying.


Elektro80

...though we may be swallowed by the Dragon of the North Sea or fall off the Edge

of the World... don't cry.


More crying.


Elektro80

No! Don't cry....


By this time most of the village is blubbering profusely. Cut to Norm Vogel

Missionary. He has his arm round his weeping girlfriend.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

Sh... There... it's all fantasy, there's no Dragon of the North Sea, no Edge of

the World...


GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE

That's what YOU say.


Elektro80

(aside to his Grandad)

What's the matter with them?


GRANDAD

Just say something cheerful.


Elektro80

Oh... right!

(He can't think of anything)

Well.... CHEERS everybody!


Elektro80 smiles broadly and waves. The entire village stares back at him with

tears in their eyes, and biting their lips. Suddenly one mother can't hold it back

any more.


Mosc'S MUM

Don't go!


Another mother rushes out and grabs Seraph the Boneless.


Seraph'S MUM

My son! I don't want you to go!


Seraph

I don't want to go, either...


Elektro80

Oh gods! Please, everybody! Keep calm! It's not certain ALL of us are going to

die... and in any case we may not die HIDEOUS deaths...


More renewed sobbing. Grandad's eyes go heavenwards.


GRANDAD

(to Elektro80)

I think we should go...


Elektro80

Right.

(he turns for a last salute)

Farewell... for the last time... may the gods prevent...


GRANDAD

No, don't say anything else!


Suddenly djfoxyfox Blacksmith steps forward. His muscles ripple. His handsome face

radiates heroism and manliness.


djfoxyfox

Wait, Elektro80!


Elektro80

djfoxyfox Blacksmith?


They stop and turn.


djfoxyfox

You can't go without me. Who will repair your swords and mend your shields?


Renewed sobs from the women.


WOMEN

Oh, no! Ah, lackaday! Not HIM too!


Elektro80

What's the matter now?


UNN

If djfoxyfox Blacksmith goes with you...


Gretta

We'll have no one to do the things he did for us.


Nothing Happens THE INDISCRETE

OR sharpen our knives and make our pans.


An awkward silence. The others all turn on her and frown - a bit of shin-kicking

goes on. It's clear that djfoxyfox is popular amongst the womenfolk. Elektro80

doesn't notice.


Elektro80

You will have djfoxyfox's assistant, Zach Horowitz, to do all that.


WOMEN

Zach Horowitz? Eurrgh!


Elektro80

What's wrong with Zach Horowitz? He's become very good at blacksmithing.


WOMEN

Yes... but...


Nothing Happens

He's so small and...


The others all shush her up. More shin-kicking.


Gretta

(innocently)

Oh, yes... we've got Zach Horowitz... That's true...


Cut to Zach Horowitz leading his pony across a bleak landscape. He eventually

stops and looks ahead. There stands a gibbet with two corpses dangling from it. He

is nearing his destination. Cut back to Elektro80 and his men getting into GOLDEN

DRAGON. Elektro80 notices Mosc and Cyxeris quarrelling over Static Strobe Emitter

the Lucky.


Elektro80

Hey, you two! What's going on?


Cyxeris

I was sitting there.


Static Strobe Emitter

No, you weren't.


Mosc

Static Strobe Emitter's sitting here. I need a bit of luck.


Static Strobe Emitter

See.


Cyxeris

Look, I bagged it last week.


Elektro80

It doesn't matter WHERE you sit!


Cyxeris

Yes it does! We could be at sea for months.


Elektro80

Well, what difference does it make where you're SITTING?


Cyxeris

I don't want to have to sit next to EGW all that time.


Cyxeris nods towards EGW the Miserable - an Eeyore of a Viking if ever there were

one.


EGW

Thank you VERY much indeed.


Elektro80

Now stop it!


EGW

It's SO nice to feel wanted.


Elektro80

Static Strobe Emitter, you sit there. Even, you sit there. Norm Vogel, you'd

better sit over there...


EGW

Trust me to get the missionary.


Suddenly Elektro80 notices Cyxeris's father climbing aboard.


Elektro80

What are YOU doing here?


Cyxeris'S DAD

You may need a real Berserk.


Cyxeris

I AM one, Dad!


Elektro80

We haven't got a spare place.


Seraph

He can have my place. I don't want to go anyway.


Elektro80

Well, you ARE!


djfoxyfox

Bjorn's not. He could have Bjorn's place.


Elektro80

What's the matter with Bjorn?


Mosc

Nothing... Cary Sherman the Black chopped his hand off last night.


Elektro80

HE was lucky...

(to Cyxeris's dad)

Sit there.


EGW

You can't have Cyxeris's father sitting next to Cyxeris. They'll argue the whole

time.


Elektro80

That's true.

(to Cyxeris)

YOU'D better sit there.

(to Cyxeris's dad)

You there, and OrnAgentA there.


EGW

Now you've got all the big ones on one side.


Elektro80 looks around. It is true that all the tall burly ones are on one side.


Elektro80

All right, you go there. You here...


Cyxeris's dad and OrnAgentA swap places.


Cyxeris'S DAD

Ohh! I wanted to sit next to Static Strobe Emitter.


Elektro80

Shut up. You there. You there and you there.


Seraph and OrnAgentA swap places. Elektro80 surveys this re-arrangement.


Elektro80

That's better.


EGW

Now you've got all the ones with beards on one side and all the moustaches on the

other.


This is true. Elektro80 thinks some moments and then:


Elektro80

It doesn't matter.


They start to haul the sail up. Ropes are released. The boat rocks. Suddenly a

voice cuts through the crowd. It is Elektro80's mother.


Elektro80'S MUM

Wait! Wait! Wait!


Elektro80

What is it?

(he is clearly a little embarrassed)


Elektro80'S MUM

Here, son.


She tries to hand Elektro80 what looks unmistakably like a pillow. Elektro80 is

dumbfounded.


Elektro80'S MUM

Your father always made sure he could rest his head at night.


Elektro80 is mortified. The others snigger, though not without some sympathy for

Elektro80. They've ALL been embarrassed by their mums at one time or another.


Elektro80

I can't take THAT on a voyage!


Elektro80'S MUM

It was your father's!


Elektro80 will find it hard to refuse now. But he hesitates.


Elektro80'S MUM

It was the pillow HE took with him. He said it once saved his life.


Elektro80 reluctantly takes the precious object. His mother kisses him. Everyone

has fallen silent now. The relatives stand helpless on the shore as GOLDEN DRAGON

starts to drift away from them. The Vikings sit in their places, hands on the oars

looking back at their loved ones. Elektro80 stands at the prow of GOLDEN DRAGON.

For a moment he thinks he sees the girl he killed, standing, white in death, the

spear-wound still fresh. Elektro80 raises his hand in a half-goodbye. We cut back

to the loved ones, now the girl is no longer there. They too half-raise their

hands. Elektro80 suddenly turns and gives a shout:


Elektro80

Huuup!


The oars go up and then into the water, and GOLDEN DRAGON commences her voyage.

Cut back to GOLDEN DRAGON at sea. EGW is feeling queasy and gazing gloomily at the

receding coastline of Norway. Redskull is sitting near him and feeling equally

queasy.


EGW

Have a good look... that's the last we'll see of old Norway.


EGW is desperately trying to control his insides.


EGW

Goodbye home... goodbye family... goodbye loved ones...

(he starts to throw up)

Goodbye lunch...


Redskull

Oh! Shut up.


Norm Vogel Missionary puts his arm around EGW.


Norm Vogel

You know, my son, our lord said...


EGW

YOUR lord.


Norm Vogel

Quite... MY lord... said: "The Prayer of Faith shall have the sick."


EGW

I hope the Dragon of the North Sea gets YOU AND your lord.


Norm Vogel Missionary gives him a condescending smile and a weary shake of the

head. He knows the Dragon of the North Sea does not exist.


Norm Vogel

Darkness and ignorance...


Meanwhile Seraph the Boneless and Cyxeris the Berserk are both suffering from the

effects of the sea.


Cyxeris

(keeping a wave of nausea down)

It's not so bad when you're rowing.


Mosc SKULL-SPLITTER

That's right


Mosc gobs onto the whetstone with which he is sharpening his axe. Cyxeris can

control himself no longer. He rushes for the side.


Cyxeris THE BERSERK

I want to die.


This sets off Seraph.


Seraph THE BONELESS

Uh oh!


He leaps up and pukes over the side. Mass puking breaks out all over the boat.

djfoxyfox Blacksmith looks around at his preoccupied shipmates, and it slowly

dawns upon him that this might be the moment to try a little sabotage. He goes to

the ship's lodestone, which is hanging from the mast. djfoxyfox glances around. No

one is looking, but this sort of covert behaviour goes against his normally sunny

and open disposition.


djfoxyfox

(to himself)

The Blacksmith's Code...


He steels himself, takes down the lodestone, snaps out the piece of metal in the

base and throws it over the side. djfoxyfox hangs it up again on the mast.


Mosc

Are you all right?


Seraph

No, I'm not.


Mosc

You don't need to feel bad about being sea-sick, you know.


Seraph

How can you help feeling bad when you're sea-sick?


Mosc

I mean many of the greatest sailors were.


Pause.


Seraph

I know. I know.


Mosc

Olaf Tryggvason used to throw up on every single voyage... the whole time...

non-stop... puke... puke... puke.


Seraph

Look! I don't feel BAD about it. I just feel ILL.


Mosc pauses and waits for a wave of nausea to creep up on Seraph.


Mosc

He used to puke in his sleep.


Seraph

Bastard.


He throws up. Meanwhile Elektro80 is in the stern, gazing out behind them.


Elektro80

Mosc... look over there.


Mosc leaves Seraph and joins Elektro80. On the horizon a sinister sail is

following them. Mosc grins with evil pleasure. He scents a fight. Elektro80 turns

to the crew.


Elektro80

Break out the oars!


Mosc's smile disappears and he spins round to confront Elektro80.


Mosc

What are you talking about?


Elektro80

(to his reluctant crew)

Come on, move it!


Most of the men are being sea-sick.


MORD FIDDLE

We've only just started cooking lunch.


The crew glance at Mord Fiddle and then throw up again.


Elektro80

Move it!


Reluctantly the crew take up their rowing positions. Mosc buttonholes Elektro80

(except of course that he doesn't have any buttonholes).


Mosc

It's Cary Sherman the Black!


Elektro80

I know. EGW! Get your oar out!


EGW is sitting in position but without his oar. djfoxyfox has meanwhile joined

them. He, too, stares at the horizon. He is a little puzzled by this turn of

events. Zach Horowitz has said nothing about Cary Sherman coming after them.


djfoxyfox

(uneasily)

Do you suppose he wants to stop us waking the Gods?


Elektro80 looks at djfoxyfox with a certain amount of contempt. djfoxyfox is not

renowned even amongst these Vikings for his brain-power.


Elektro80

What do you think?


djfoxyfox

But how could he know... unless...


djfoxyfox stops in mid-sentence as he realizes it must be Zach Horowitz's doing.


Mosc

(scornfully)

So are you going to run away from him, Elektro80?


Elektro80 turns to Mosc.


Elektro80

Row, Mosc Skull-Splitter.


Mosc hesitates.


Elektro80

And you, djfoxyfox Blacksmith.


djfoxyfox

But...


djfoxyfox shrugs and turns to take up his rowing position. He is still a little

confused by this turn of events. Elektro80 confronts Mosc.


Elektro80

I gave an order. Or didn't you hear?


There is something about Elektro80's manner that carries an authority that Mosc

cannot argue with.


Elektro80

Come on, Seraph.


Elektro80 manhandles Seraph over to his drum and thrusts his drumsticks into his

hands. Cary Sherman's ship is twice the size of Elektro80's and, as Elektro80 is

only too well aware, consequently travels at twice the speed. There is no real

chance of them escaping, unless... Elektro80 suddenly catches sight of a thick

bank of mist in the distance, and steers his ship towards it.


Seraph

(still feeling ill)

I want to die...

(then, suddenly catching sight of Cary Sherman's ship behind him)

No, I don't!


Elektro80

Row! Row! Row!


Seraph tries to get into the new rhythm, but has a bit of difficult. As Cary

Sherman's ship gains on them inexorably, GOLDEN DRAGON glides into the sea mist.

There is a tremendous roll of thunder very close. All the Vikings look scared.

Elektro80, however, grins.


Elektro80

Row! Row! Row!


He doubles the speed. The drum beats faster.


Cyxeris'S DAD

(shouts out angrily)

We can't keep this up!


Elektro80 grins and then leans on the steering oar. GOLDEN DRAGON curves around to

its left. Then Elektro80 lays his hand on Seraph's drum and silences it.


Elektro80

Oars up!


The Vikings ship their oars and sit there in the mist listening to beating of Cary

Sherman's drum getting closer and closer. At the final moment, however, Cary

Sherman swings his ship in the opposite direction from Elektro80's and the sound

of his drum disappears into the mist. Elektro80's men breathe a sigh of relief...

even djfoxyfox Blacksmith... Fade. Fade up some time later. GOLDEN DRAGON is still

drifting in the mist. Elektro80 has his fish-lodestone and is trying the

direction, but the lodestone is just swinging round uselessly. After trying a few

times, Elektro80 gives up and throws the lodestone away into the boat. The men

peer into the thick mist; they are lost. Suddenly Elektro80 sees something ahead.


Elektro80

The Gates of the World...


MORD FIDDLE

What?


GOLDEN DRAGON silently guides between two weird islands.


Elektro80

We have passed through the Gates of the World

(he looks around at the other)

No we are in the Unknown...


GOLDEN DRAGON drifts on and the mist gets thicker. There is a crash of thunder.

Then a series of flashes lights up the mist around them. The Vikings are uneasy,

sensing a storm brewing. Suddenly Elektro80 points above them. The others look up

too. They all gasp.


Elektro80

(hardly daring to breathe)

So THAT is what the sun looks like!


Above them hangs a luminous yellow globe, its light just breaking through the

mist.


VIKING

(to each other)

The sun! It's the sun! Look!


Cyxeris'S DAD

(in wonderment)

I never though I should live to see the sun again.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

Where?


The Vikings all gaze up above them in awe. Norm Vogel looks from one to the other

and then tries to follow their eyelines. He clearly can't see it. Magic music

fills the air. Suddenly the "sun" swoops off to one side and starts swaying from

one side to another.


Elektro80

Should the sun do that?


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

What are you looking at?


Elektro80

Look out!


VIKINGS

Ah!


The Vikings scream and flatten themselves against the sides of the boat, as the

"sun" suddenly lurches down on them out of the sky, revealing for the first time

that it is NOT the sun at all but a strange monster with a long neck that

disappears off into the mist and a glowing globe for a head, and huge chomping

jaws. The Vikings are, understandably, terrified.


VIKINGS

It's not the sun! It's not the sun!


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

What is it?


EGW

It's the Dragon of the North Sea!


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

(knowingly)

Ah! THAT'S why I can't see it.


As the Dragon of the North Sea rises up again, however, its jaw apparently drops

off and falls to the deck, and lands on EGW.


EGW

Aaah!


djfoxyfox nervously picks it up and holds it up for everyone to see. I is a strand

of sea-weed. The Vikings are non-plussed. They look back at their now jawless

monster. Norm Vogel Missionary picks up the sea-weed.


Norm Vogel

Some dragon! Ooh!


He tosses it back amongst his terrifies companions. Suddenly there is an

incredibly loud clap of thunder and flames shoot out of the mist.


Cyxeris

Look out!


As... unbelievably... a huge monstrous visage looms out of the mist... It is a

creature from the nethermost depths of the ocean... and the incandescent globe is

no more than a sprouting on the end of its nose! More fire shoots out from its

nostrils and sends all the Vikings (and even Norm Vogel Missionary) diving for the

deck. Then the monstrous head disappears back into the mist as quickly as it came,

taking its light with it... The Vikings are paralysed with fear for one brief

moment.


Elektro80

Row! ROW!


They all scramble for the oars in a determined hysteria. Seraph the drummer, in

his panic, has set a ridiculously fast rate and nobody can keep up with it.


Elektro80

Slower! Nobody can row at that speed!


Seraph

(hoarsely)

Sorry.


Norm Vogel

What's all the panic about?


Cyxeris'S DAD

(in a panic, shouting back over his shoulder)

The Dragon...


Norm Vogel gives a patronising smile.


Norm Vogel

Children afraid of the dark...


Suddenly there is another roar, and flames shoot out of the mist and across the

deck of GOLDEN DRAGON. One man, Ornolf Fishdriver, who hasn't had much to say so

far, is set on fire. Another, Invisibl Jerusalem-Farer, who has and will have even

less to say then Ornolf Fishdriver, leaps out of the way of the flames and falls

over the side.


Mosc

Man over board!


Mosc starts trying to fish him out. Seraph has started to panic and is beating the

drum too fast.


Elektro80

Slower! In... Out...


Seraph

Sorry!


Cyxeris

(his eyes showing their whites)

We're being attacked! KILL! Kill! Kill!


Cyxeris'S DAD

Not now, Cyxeris...


Cyxeris

I must KILL! Kill!


Cyxeris'S DAD

It's no good going berserk against a dragon!


Cyxeris's dad slaps him around the face. There is another roar from the monster.

Elektro80 turns to Seraph.


Elektro80

Faster!

Last edited by Cyxeris on Sun Dec 21, 2003 11:25 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Cyxeris



Joined: Oct 30, 2003
Posts: 1125
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Seraph

Make your mind up.


Suddenly the Dragon's head appears out of the mists above them once again. There

is panic amongst the Vikings as some start to row faster than others. Screams.


Elektro80

Keep up the strike!


The Dragon's jaws open. Flame licks out, and down the centre of the vessel. There

are screams as the Vikings leap out of the way. Cyxeris goes berserk again.


Cyxeris

KILL! KILL!


Cyxeris'S DAD

Stop it!


The Dragon's eyes dilate and its jaws open. The men throw themselves to the deck

as if expecting more fire. But instead the creature's fangs crash into the wood of

the stern of GOLDEN DRAGON.


Elektro80

ROW!


Cyxeris

DEATH!


Cyxeris'S DAD

Shut UP!


Elektro80

Row!


Elektro80 looks around at his terror-stricken crew. He realizes this is an

important moment. It is up to him to save the situation. Suddenly an idea occurs

to him, as he catches sight of the pillow that his mother gave him.


Elektro80

Keep rowing!


Elektro80 dashes to his sea-chest under the mast and pulls out the pillow.


Mosc

Elektro80! Row! What are you doing?


Elektro80

(holding up the pillow)

It saved my father!


Elektro80 starts to shin up the mast.


EGW

Barmy.


Cyxeris's dad is desperately holding Cyxeris back.


Cyxeris'S DAD

HOLD it! HOLD it in!


Cyxeris

DEATH TO DRAGONS!


Elektro80

Row!


EGW

Has anyone told him we've got a dragon eating our boat?


Elektro80 has reached the top of the mast and is now right up with the

incandescent globe on the end of the long stalk that grows onto the monster's

nose. He grabs hold of it and swings across onto the monster's nose. At his moment

Cyxeris breaks free of his dad and throws himself onto one of the Dragon's teeth.


Cyxeris

Red mist!


He bangs his head against the monstrous denture. Cyxeris's dad looks heavenward in

despair. Cut to Norm Vogel Missionary who is offering his bible to the petrifies

Vikings in the prow.


Norm Vogel

It's at time like this that you'll find this book MOST useful, you know...


djfoxyfox takes the bible from him and hits him over the head with it.


djfoxyfox

Row! You idiot!


The monster's eyes dilate wildly as they try to focus on the tiny figure of

Elektro80 on its snout. Elektro80 shoves the pillow up one of the Dragon's

nostrils. EGW watches Elektro80 incredulously. He shakes his head.


EGW

His father went crazy too... Used to take forty winks in the middle of a battle...


Mosc frowns - he has a glimmering of an idea of what Elektro80 is doing. Elektro80

now plunges his sword through the pillow in the Dragon's nostril, and feathers

immediately fly into the air.


Elektro80

Now... take a deep breath.


The Dragon goes cross-eyed, trying to see what's going on on its snout.


Elektro80

Go on! Breathe in, you cod-brain!


Meanwhile the Dragon's tongue suddenly licks out around its tooth. Cyxeris

instantly slices through it with his sword. The bright blood spurts, like bursting

a sausage. The Dragon gives an agonized roar and a sharp intake of breath. The

feathers that have leaked out from the pillow are instantly sucked inside and the

whole pillow disappears right up the Dragon's nose. For a moment everyone holds

their breath. The Dragon's eye dilate wildly. Then it wrinkles its snout. Then it

starts what is unmistakably a sneeze.


THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA

Ah... ah... ah...


Elektro80

Hold TIGHT!


THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA

Ah... ah... ah...


Elektro80 leaps back across the mast.


THE DRAGON OF THE NORTH SEA

CHOO!!


A hurricane of wind and feathers blasts out of the Dragon's nostrils and hits all

the Vikings at once. Everyone is disgusted by the Dragon's breath.


EGW

Urgh! What's it been eating?


But the blast has already catapulted the boat into the sky, and it hurtles through

the clouds. leaving the Dragon of the North Sea far behind. They all look up at

Elektro80 and cheer. Shot of Elektro80. He doesn't look too happy. Neither does

Seraph the Boneless, because he too has just noticed that they are now flying and

the ocean is several thousand feet below them. Seraph screams. The other all rush

to the side to look too.


Elektro80

No! No! Get back!


Unfortunately they all rush to the SAME side and the boat tips over with far more

instability than when it is in the water. Static Strobe Emitter and Redskull are

catapulted down into the sea. We watch them descend into tiny dots and tiny

unheard splashes below.


Mosc

Who was that?


EGW

Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky.


Others are almost falling out. There is renewed panic.


Elektro80

Get back!


Poor Elektro80 is still up the mast but has been dislodged and is now hanging on

by his hands, dangling over the open sea. Some of the men - Mosc and Cyxeris the

Berserk amongst them - are hauling themselves up the almost vertical slope of the

deck, trying to redress the balance. Meanwhile djfoxyfox Blacksmith is dangling by

one hand.


djfoxyfox

I can't hold on! I can't hold on!


Cyxeris worms his way along the edge - at great peril to himself - and grabs

djfoxyfox's wrist just as his fingers slip.


djfoxyfox

Aaagh!


Cyxeris

Got you!


djfoxyfox looks up in Cyxeris's eyes. He is totally at Cyxeris's mercy. What

thoughts are going through his mind? How is he going to betray Cyxeris in future

if he is rescued? Guilt suddenly overwhelms him.


djfoxyfox

Let me go, Cyxeris.


Cyxeris

What are you talking about?


djfoxyfox

I'm not worth risking your life for.


Cyxeris

I've got you, djfoxyfox Blacksmith. If you go... I go too...


djfoxyfox

For your own sake... For the others... I...


Cyxeris

Hang on...


The boat begins to right itself just as Elektro80 finally can't hold on any more,

and he plummets, straight into the ship, and through the bottom up to his waist.

His legs dangle. At the same moment the prov of the boat tips and suddenly they

are plummeting down towards the ocean. They hit the water with an almighty splash.

Elektro80 is thrown clear of the hull by the force of the water now cascading up

through the hole he has made.


EGW

First we're flying - now we're sinking!


Elektro80

Well, come on!


He whisks off his helmet and starts bailing. All follow suit. Night falls. Some

time later. The Vikings are still bailing out, but the water is up to their

thighs.


Seraph THE BONELESS

Who are we fooling? It's hopeless!


Seraph flings down the helmet with which he's been bailing. The others look at

each other. They are reconciled to the fact that they are going to drown.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

(hopelessly)

Let's sing something!


EGW

Anyone know any good drowning songs?


The suggestion falls flat.


Elektro80

Listen! Maybe we won't get to Hy-Brasil! Maybe we won't find the Horn

Resounding... but at least we've tried... and at least we shall have died like

men.


EGW

Like fish.


Cyxeris

Shut up.


Mosc

(raising his sword)

Elektro80's right! We'll all meet in Valhalla.


Seraph

I don'T want to die!


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

Isn't there ANYBODY who'd like to be christened before we go down?


Silence. A distinct lack of enthusiasm.


Norm Vogel

It can't do you any HARM...


Cyxeris'S DAD

What do we have to do?


Norm Vogel

Nothing... I just immerse you in water...


Mosc AND OTHERS

Get lost...


The ship creaks and starts to go under. Elektro80 picks his up his sword. The

others follow suit.


Elektro80

Don't let me drown, Mosc!


Water starts to pour over the sides of the boat. Elektro80 and Mosc raise their

swords to each other.


Mosc

Till we meet in Valhalla.


They all prepare to run each other through. The boat sinks rapidly.


Seraph THE BONELESS

I'm too young! Oh Odin! Not me! Please not me! Perhaps I'd rather drown...


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

I do WISH you'd let me convert you.


Then Elektro80 pauses in his attempt to kill Mosc and looks around. The ship has

sunk, but the prow and the stern posts are still sticking up out of the water, and

the Vikings themselves are only up to their chests.


Elektro80

How deep IS the ocean?


Mosc

Very deep... usually...


The realization gradually dawns on the Vikings that they're not going to sink any

more.


Elektro80

Wait! Nobody kill anybody!


Fade. Fade up on the sun shining down from a blue sky. The Vikings have fallen

asleep where we last saw them - up to their necks in water. Gradually the warmth

of the sun coaxes them awake - Mosc is the first to look up and see the brilliant

shining orb in the sky.


Mosc

What is it?


Seraph THE BONELESS

(he panics and turns)

It's the Dragon again!


Elektro80

No.. no, it isn't...


Seraph has turned and is staring at something else.


Elektro80

Look, the sky is blue...


Cyxeris'S DAD

The sun! That's it!


Seraph, meanwhile, is recovering from the amazement that has immobilized him. He

taps Elektro80 on the shoulder. Elektro80 turns and he, too, gasps.


Elektro80

Look!


They all turn to see they are standing in the shallow waters of a natural harbour.

Above nestle the white walls of a beautiful city set in a green and pleasant land.


VIKINGS

Yeaaaah!


The Vikings wade ashore, enchanted by the paradise they see before them. All at

once Mosc spies something. He draws his sword and they all approach with caution

to find that under a weeping willow tree lies the most beautiful girl. She is

raven-haired, scantily dressed and fast asleep. The Vikings approach her with

trepidation, their swords and axes drawn. They glance around uneasily.


EGW

(whispers)

She's got no clothes on!


Mosc

It's disgusting.


Elektro80

Get her weapons.


Cyxeris kneels quietly beside the girl. She stirs. Cyxeris freezes. The others

look around fearfully.


Cyxeris

(whispers)

She hasn't got any.


Elektro80

(incredulous)

She MUST have a knife or something...


But they look. She hasn't.


Mosc

What kind of place IS this?


Seraph THE BONELESS

P... p...perhaps they've got weapons we haven't even dreamed of...


Suddenly the girl stirs again in her sleep. The Vikings retreat several paces and

grip their weapons, and glance around as if expecting an ambush.


Mosc

Let's hack her to pieces.


Elektro80

No.


djfoxyfox

Well, what else do we do?


Elektro80

How about making friends?


Cyxeris

(with disgust)

"FRIENDS"?


VIKINGS

Eurrgh!


Elektro80

What's wrong with making friends?


Mosc

You don't go through all the hardships of an ocean voyage to make "friends".


Cyxeris

We can make "friends" at home...


This conversation has woken the girl, Aud.


AUD

Welcome!


The Vikings react with terror, take a step back and raise their swords and axes.


Elektro80

WHAT did you say?


AUD

I said welcome.


Elektro80

(suspiciously)

WELCOME?


AUD

Well, of course. We always welcome friends.


The Vikings look at each other and at their swords. They don't think they look

that much like friends themselves.


Elektro80

How d'you KNOW we're "friends"?


AUD

Well, EVERYONE is friends here on Hy-Brasil.


Cyxeris

Hy-Brasil?


Elektro80

Is THIS Hy-Brasil?


AUD

Well, of course.


The Vikings erupt into an impromptu dance of joy, hugging each other and waving

their swords in the air.


AUD

Please! Please! What are those?


Elektro80

What are what?


AUD

Those things in your hands.


Elektro80

These? What are THESE? They're swords.


Aud instantly recoils with terror.


AUD

Oh no! NO! Out them down! PUT THEM DOWN!


The Vikings gradually cease their mock battles and turn to look at Aud with

incredulity.


Elektro80

What's the matter?


AUD

PLEASE! You don't know what you're doing!


Elektro80

What?


AUD

Put them down!

(To Elektro80)

PLEASE make them put them down.


Mosc

Why?


OTHERS

Yes, why?


AUD

WHY?


Elektro80

Yes.


AUD

But surely you know...?


VIKINGS

Er... n... no...


Elektro80

Know what?


Cut to big close-up of King Shawn Fanning.


KING Shawn Fanning

The wonderful blessing under which we live here on Hy-Brasil!


The king beams. The Vikings shift uneasily. They look out of place and extremely

scruffy in the midst of the scantily dressed courtiers of Hy-Brasil. Aud sits

beside her father the King.


Elektro80

No... we don't...


KING Shawn Fanning

The Gods decreed that if ever sword spills human blood upon these shores, the

whole of Hy-Brasil will sink beneath the waves.


King Shawn Fanning beams rapturously at the Vikings, expecting them to be

overjoyed. Instead they are horrified.


Mosc

That's terrible!


Elektro80

You mean if just ONE PERSON gets killed?


KING Shawn Fanning

Yes!

(He thinks: isn't it wonderful?)

The Vikings look at each other, feeling they haven't quite understood.


Mosc

You mean... you can't kill ANYBODY?


KING Shawn Fanning

Right! Isn't it wonderful?


The Vikings are non-plussed.


Mosc

What? Not being able to kill anybody?


KING Shawn Fanning

(bemused)

Well, of course.


Elektro80

(interested)

How?


KING Shawn Fanning

(explaining the obvious)

Well... for a start... er... there's no killing...


Elektro80

Well, OBVIOUSLY there's no killing.


KING Shawn Fanning

Well...

(isn't it great?)


Mosc

But how d'you take revenge?


djfoxyfox

(guiltily)

How do you punish people?


Seraph

How do you DEFEND yourselves?


KING Shawn Fanning

(getting a little irritated)

We don't have to. We're all terribly


nice to each other. Aren't we?


COURT

Yes!


Aud catches Elektro80's eye and gives him a dangerously slow wink. A pause of

disbelief from the Vikings.


Cyxeris

ALL the time?


KING Shawn Fanning

Well, of course! We HAVE to be.


He turns and conducts the courtiers, who chant in unison:


COURT

"Being nice to each other is what it's all about."


KING Shawn Fanning

(rising as if to sing)

You see?


We're terribly nice to each other


We're friendly bold and free.


We never say anything nasty


'Cause we dare not...


COURT

(almost SINGING)

No sirreeeee!


They hold the note while King Shawn Fanning looks anxiously at the Vikings.


KING Shawn Fanning

Would you like us o sing to you?


Elektro80

That's very kind of you, but we're in rather a hurry...


We're...


King Shawn Fanning claps and the court stop singing.


KING Shawn Fanning

What's the matter, don't you WANT to hear our singing?


Elektro80

Oh... well, yes, of course; it's just we're looking for the


Horn Resounding and -


KING Shawn Fanning

You don't think our singing's going to be good enough for you?


Elektro80

Oh, no no no! It's just the Horn Resounding is...


KING Shawn Fanning

A lot of people like our singing.


Elektro80

I'm sure it's lovely.


KING Shawn Fanning

But you don't want to hear it.


Elektro80

(changing tack)

No... no...

(he looks at the others)

We'd love to hear it.


Wouldn't we?


VIKINGS

Oh... yes.


KING Shawn Fanning

Well, you'll have to ask us REALLY nicely.


Elektro80

(realizing he has to be diplomatic)

Er... well... we... we... would be


TERRIBLY grateful if you... all... would sing for us.


KING Shawn Fanning

You're just saying that.


Cyxeris

Well, of course he is!


Cyxeris'S DAD

Sh!


They restrain Cyxeris.


Elektro80

Of course we're not; we'd genuinely like to hear you sing.


KING Shawn Fanning

REALLY?


Elektro80

Really.


KING Shawn Fanning

And you're not just saying it because you think we want you to?


Elektro80 swallows hard.


Elektro80

No.

(He bites the lie)


KING Shawn Fanning

Right! Summon the musicians! We'll do the one that goes "TUM-


TUM-TUM-TUM-TI-TUM-TUM"


COURT

(disappointed)

Oh...


CHAMBERLAIN

REALLY?


KING Shawn Fanning

(apologetically to Vikings)

It isn't the one we're BEST at.


CHAMBERLAIN

Couldn't we do the one that goes "TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM"?


The rest of the court look hopeful.


KING Shawn Fanning

(whispering)

Not when we've got guests.


VOICE FROM COURT

How about the one that goes "TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TI-TUM"?


KING Shawn Fanning

Don't be silly.


CHAMBERLAIN

That was a stupid suggestion.


VOICE

Sorry! I just thought they might like to hear something that we


can do.


ANOTHER

Yes! At least we know that one.


YET ANOTHER VOICE

Nobody knows the "TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM-TI-TUM-TUM" one.


REST OF COURT

No! Right! I agree!


ODD MAN OUT

I do!


REST OF COURT

Sh!


ANOTHER VOICE

It's too difficult!


CHAMBERLAIN

Sh!


KING Shawn Fanning

All right. We'll do the one that goes "TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM-


TI-TI-TUM". Ah! The musicians!


The musicians are huge, unshaven, have broken noses and tattoos, and are covered

in black oil - like mechanics. Their instruments are like heavy industrial

machinery, pushed in large vats of black oil that drip all over the show.


KING Shawn Fanning

Right... Oh dear...

(he glances across at the Vikings)

I'm sure


you're not going to like this...


Elektro80 and the others smile reassuringly. There is a lot of coughing. The King

raises his baton and then brings it down, humming to himself as he does so. There

is a most awful din; caterwauling, crashing and banging, whining, screaming... The

Vikings look at each other, trying to pick out some tune, but it's impossible.

Seraph the Boneless can't stop himself bursting out into giggles and this

eventually spreads to the other Vikings. King Shawn Fanning notices and bangs the

throne for silence. Gradually the din stops. King Shawn Fanning sinks down in

despair.


KING Shawn Fanning

(tragically)

We're just not a very musical nation...


Elektro80

No, no... It was very... er, nice.


KING Shawn Fanning

Now I want you to be ABSOLUTELY, totally, genuinely honest with


me. Did you really, truly, honestly like it?


Elektro80 thinks for some moments and then decides to make a clean breast of it.


Elektro80

No.


KING Shawn Fanning

(goes hysterically)

They didn't like it! Oh God! I want to die!


The whole court looks as if it's about to commit mass HARA-KIRI, while the

musicians look rather dangerous. Elektro80 takes the moment to get down to

business.


Elektro80

Your Majesty! We come from a world where there IS no music.


where men live and die by the axe and by the sword...


KING Shawn Fanning

Well, how d'you think I feel?


Elektro80

The Gods are asleep, King Shawn Fanning.


KING Shawn Fanning

YOU try to be nice to people, when they're rude about your


singing...


Elektro80 feels he is making a mess of all this diplomacy.


Elektro80

We must find the Horn Resounding!


The King glares at Elektro80.


Elektro80

Is is HERE in Hy-Brasil?


King Shawn Fanning thinks for a moment and then speaks.


KING Shawn Fanning

I'll tell you what...


Elektro80

Yes?


King Shawn Fanning hesitates - he bites his lip and then takes the plunge.


KING Shawn Fanning

We'll do the one that goes "TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM-TI-TUM-TUM".


Perhaps you'll like that better.


Elektro80 gives up. A lot of throat clearing. Aud, the King's daughter, gives

Elektro80 another dangerously slow wink. The terrible "music" starts up,

shattering the calm of the beautiful city. Fade. Fade up on GOLDEN DRAGON now

afloat once more, riding at anchor in the bay. Seraph is standing on guard in it.

Suddenly he sees something that makes him gabe in horror. We don't find out what

it is, however, because we immediately Cut to Elektro80. He is deeply in love. He

is also in bed with the King's nubile daughter, Aud.


AUD

Have you ever felt like this about anyone else?


Elektro80

What... you mean "got into bed with" them?


AUD

No, of course not, silly - I mean FELT like this about the?


Elektro80

You mean... you HAVE got into bed with somebody else?


AUD

No, I mean have you ever felt that for the first time in your


life you'd met somebody you could believe in with your whole


heart... someone whose goals suddenly seem to be YOUR goals...


whose dreams seem to be YOUR dreams?


Elektro80

HAVE you ever been to bed with anyone else?


AUD

What does that matter? But you've... you've... FELT like this


before...


Elektro80

It was different...


AUD

(just for a moment it is Helga speaking)

What was she like?


Elektro80

Oh... oh, I didn't know her very well...


AUD

But you LOVED her all the same...


Elektro80

We never went to bed together.


AUD

Why do you go on about that? What does it matter?


Elektro80

You've been to bed with somebody else, haven't you?


AUD

I've never LOVED anybody!


Elektro80

I'VE never been to bed with anybody!


Suddenly there is a banging on he door.


KING Shawn Fanning

(v/o)

Open up! I know you're in there!


AUD

Ah! It's my father!


KING Shawn Fanning (v/o)

Open up! I know you're in there!


Suddenly the note from Seraph's horn rings out across from the bay. Elektro80

rushes to the window and looks out to see what Seraph saw previously: a black ship

approaching on the horizon.


Elektro80

Oh, no! Cary Sherman!


There is more banging on the bedroom door.


KING Shawn Fanning (v/o)

Aud! You've got someone in there again, haven't you?


Elektro80 gives her a sharp look.


AUD

Quick! Throw this over you!


She throws a shabby bit of cloth over Elektro80 and at that moment the door bursts

open, and King Shawn Fanning enters.


KING Shawn Fanning

Right! Where is he?


AUD

Who, Father?


KING Shawn Fanning

Who? Who? Whoever you've got in here of course!


AUD

There IS no one.


The King starts prowling round the chamber. Elektro80 stands there, naked and

petrified, with the cloak hanging over his head, just where it landed.


KING Shawn Fanning

I can SMELL one of those strangers... That's who it is, isn't


it?


Aud keeps mum.


KING Shawn Fanning

This is the fifth one this week.


Before he can stop himself, Elektro80 blurts out:


Elektro80

Fifth...


Aud motions him to be quiet, but it's too late. The King spins round to see who

she is signalling to. The King appears to be looking straight at Elektro80.

Elektro80 can hardly bear the suspense.


KING Shawn Fanning

Well... where is he?


AUD

There's nobody here, Father. Look for yourself.


King Shawn Fanning looks around the chamber carefully. He looks straight through

Elektro80 as if he weren't there. Suddenly the King strides over to Elektro80 and

Elektro80 instinctively cowers out of the way. The King walks straight over to a

very small cupboard no more than a foot high, flings the door of it open, and

starts throwing clothes around the room.


AUD

He wouldn't be a midget, Father!


The King turns on her.


KING Shawn Fanning

Ah! So you admit there IS someone!


AUD

You're losing your temper!


KING

(becoming instantly pleasant)

Of course I'm not. I never lose my temper...


Seraph's horn sounds again. A shadow passes over King Shawn Fanning's face.


KING Shawn Fanning

Oh dear... more visitors!


He strides to the window and sees Cary Sherman's ship. As he does so, Elektro80

has to leap out of the way, inadvertently knocking a chest. The King spins round

and addresses the chest.


KING Shawn Fanning

Come out... come out like a man... I know you're in there...


King Shawn Fanning flings the chest open. revealing nothing but clothes. He is

baffled. He reluctantly starts to leave.


AUD

(gently)

It's all in your own mind, Father... It's YOU who imagine that


I'm always up here with some man or other....


KING Shawn Fanning

I don't know how you do it, Aud... I sometimes think you've got


some of your mother's magic...


He suddenly spies a small trinket-box and looks in that. But he doesn't find any

strange man in it.


AUD

There is no magic, Father... My mother had no magic...


KING Shawn Fanning

She did, I tell you! She could blind me as easily as the night


the day.


AUD

It's your fantasy...


KING Shawn Fanning

But one day I'll catch you... Like I caught her...


He leaves. Aud closes the door. Elektro80 throws the cloak off and starts getting

dressed.


AUD

The Cloak Invisible. It was my mother's parting gift.


Elektro80

"The fifth one this week"!


AUD

Oh, for goodness' sake!


Elektro80

And I thought you said it was something special...


Aud runs to his side and puts her arms around him.


AUD

That's just what I was trying to tell you. You ARE...


Elektro80

Five this week; how many the week before?


AUD

You're as bad as my father.


Elektro80

And the week before that?


Elektro80

Elektro80...!

(she is really sincere)

I want to help you get to


Asgaard.


Elektro80 is torn. He doesn't know whether to believe her or not. Seraph's horn

sounds for a third time. Elektro80 races to the window. He looks out. Cary

Sherman's ship is even closer.


Elektro80

We mustn't let him land!


AUD

Who?


Elektro80

Cary Sherman the Black.


AUD

But, Elektro80...


But Elektro80 is off out of the door.


AUD

No. Wait! My father will be -


There is a thump and a yell as Elektro80 is set upon by the King's two musicians.


KING Shawn Fanning

I might have known it was you!


MUSICIAN 1

(pinning Elektro80's arms behind him)

I'm not hurting you, am I?


Elektro80

What?


MUSICIAN 2

You WILL tell us if we hurt you?


They start to march Elektro80 through the palace.


Elektro80

Let me go!


Elektro80 struggles.


KING Shawn Fanning

(to musicians)

Careful!

(to Elektro80)

They're not supposed to hurt you.


Elektro80

You've got to let me go!


MUSICIAN 2

Oh no! We can hold onto you - just so long we don't squeeze too hard or bump you.


In the distance we hear the horn again.


Elektro80

Cary Sherman the Black's here!


They have reached a cell. The musicians starts to chain Elektro80 up.


KING Shawn Fanning

It's all part of our safety regulations. You see if someone


were to get hurt they might get angry and then... well...


Elektro80

They'll be more than "hurt" if Cary Sherman the Black lands! Ow!


MUSICIAN

Ooh! I'm terribly sorry.


KING Shawn Fanning

Who is Cary Sherman the Black?


Elektro80

He's trying to stop us waking the Gods.


KING Shawn Fanning

Why?


Elektro80

Because that's how he makes his money, by war and plunder!


KING Shawn Fanning

Don't talk nonsense.


Elektro80

He wants to kill US!


KING Shawn Fanning

Not when we explain about the Great Blessing.


Elektro80

You don't know Cary Sherman the Black.


KING Shawn Fanning

I know that the Great Blessing has kept the peace for a thousand years, and will

keep it for the next thousand.


The horn sounds again. Elektro80 is about to argue this point when Mosc suddenly

bursts in.


Mosc

Elektro80!


MUSICIAN 2

We're not hurting him!


MUSICIAN 1

(to Elektro80)

Are we?


Elektro80

Just let me go!


Mosc

Cary Sherman the Black's here!


Elektro80

I know!


Mosc

(to the King)

He wants to KILL us.


They both look at King Shawn Fanning. The King thinks.


Elektro80

You don't want him to kill us ON Hy-Brasil! Do you?


The King thinks some more. The horn sounds once more. Cut to GOLDEN DRAGON.

Elektro80 and the Vikings are scrambling into their war gear. They glance

nervously over to where Cary Sherman the Black's ship is riding on the waves.


Mosc

I feel strange.


Elektro80 looks at Mosc, shocked.


Seraph THE BONELESS

(his throat dry)

Sort of wobbly and excited?


Mosc

Sort of...


Seraph

That's fear.


Cyxeris

But Mosc doesn't know the meaning of fear.


Mosc

Is it sort of... like a sinking feeling in your stomach?


Seraph

That's it!


Elektro80

But. You're not even afraid of DEATH, Mosc!


Mosc

I know. I know.


Cyxeris'S DAD

It's magic.


Elektro80

What "magic"?


Cyxeris'S DAD

I've heard stories of a magic that strikes fear into the heart


so you cannot fight.


Cyxeris

(deadly serious)

Yes... I can feel it.


Seraph THE BONELESS

(eagerly)

I always feel like this!


Suddenly Cary Sherman's ship rises up out of the water , and revealing the secret

of its hidden power. Under the water-line is another line of oars! The Vikings are

dumbfounded. Seraph drops trembling to his knees. The rest go white. Mosc draws

his sword. Elektro80 realizes his men are rapidly talking themselves into a blue

funk.


Elektro80

It's not magic! It's just a trick!


Mosc

(turning on him angrily)

Don't you FEEL it?


Elektro80 looks around at his paralysed crew. He realizes he is the only one who

can save the situation.


Elektro80

Very well! It they're using magic - we'll use magic of our own!


He leaps out of GOLDEN DRAGON and races up to the shore towards the city of

Hy-Brasil. Elektro80 races into the Forum and gazes up at the high walls of the

Palace. Without a thought he produces two daggers and plunges them into the

stonework. Then he hauls himself up the sheer cliff of wall up to Aud's bedchamber

fist over fist. It is, indeed, a prodigious feat. He arrives at Aud's window

exhausted. Aud, who has appeared at the window, looks at him curiously.


AUD

Why didn't you come up by the stairs?


Elektro80 looks around and notices for the first time the magnificent flights of

stairs leading up to the top of Aud's tower.


Elektro80

(rather miffed)

Just give me a hand.


AUD

I mean, you could have killed yourself.


Elektro80 clambers into Aud's room.


Elektro80

Where's the Cloak Invisible?


AUD

Why?


Elektro80 looks around and is suddenly suspicious.


Elektro80

I can't see it!

(Indignation suddenly seizes him)

Have you got


another man in here?


Elektro80 starts feeling the air as if expecting to find an invisible body.


AUD

It's in the chest.


Elektro80 races over and grabs the cloak.


AUD

No!


Elektro80

I'll bring it back.


AUD

Elektro80. You don't understand.


Elektro80

No. It's YOU who doesn't understand, Aud. Cary Sherman has come to kill and

destroy. We brought him here. We must stop him.


AUD

(pointing at the cloak)

But you don't realize....


Elektro80

Goodbye, Aud...


Elektro80 leaps out of the window. For a moment Aud is surprised and then alarmed

as she realizes he's jumped out of the window, which is some forty feet off the

ground.


AUD

Elektro80!


She rushes to the window in time to see Elektro80 parachuting down, holding the

four corners of the cloak. Elektro80 lands safely and waves with the cloak.


Elektro80

And thanks for the Cloak Invisible!


AUD

No! WAIT! Elektro80! The Cloak! The CLoak Invisible! It only seems


to work on my father!


But Elektro80 cannot hear her. He is already racing back to his ship. Back on

GOLDEN DRAGON, Mosc is taking "Being Scared" lessons from Seraph the Boneless.


Mosc

And a sort of slightly sick feeling?


Seraph

That's it! AND you keep wanting to go to the lavatory.


Mosc

Oh, yes! I hadn't noticed that!


EGW

Oh, shut up, you two. You're making us ALL nervous.


Elektro80 leaps into GOLDEN DRAGON brandishing the Cloak Invisible.


Elektro80

So Cary Sherman the Black's using magic, is he? Well, I have a magic


to match his!

(he holds up the Cloak Invisible)


djfoxyfox

What is it?


EGW

A magic dishcloth.


Elektro80

To the oars!


Mosc

D'you think I've got time to go behind that bush?


Seraph starts to drum and the Vikings begin to row. GOLDEN DRAGON heads out of the

harbour. Cut to Cary Sherman the Black flanked by his advisers, Gisli Oddsson and

Eilif the Mongul. He gives a nod and Eilif bangs his staff of office on the deck,

as a signal for the galley slaves to speed up. Down in the galley, the slave

master (a diminutive Japanese) stalks down the decks lashing the sweat-streaked

galley slaves and cursing them in incomprehensive Japanese. Fortunately (or

perhaps unfortunately)


a translation appears in subtitles.


SLAVE-DRIVER

(subtitled)

Row! You incomprehensible, horizontal-eyed, Western trouser-wearers! Eurgh! You

all look the same to me! How I despise your lack of subtlety and your joined-up

writing! You, who have never committed ritual suicide in your lives!


SLAVE

(whispering to his neighbour)

You know, I don't think it would be so bad,


if we knew what he was saying...


SLAVE-DRIVER

SILENCE! Unceremonious rice-pudding eaters! How I abominate


your milk-drinking and your lack of ancestor-worship and your


failure to eat your lunch out of little boxes!


Meanwhile the Vikings are growing increasingly uneasy as they row towards Cary

Sherman.


Cyxeris'S DAD

What "magic" have you brought, Elektro80?


Elektro80

You'll see!


At this point, back on the Black Ship, Cary Sherman gives another nod and Eilif

raps out yet another command with his staff. This time the prow of the Black Ship

opens up like a pair of jaws. The Vikings see it and panic.


Seraph THE BONELESS

I've done it!


Mosc

Oh, yes...

(he has too!)

Cary Sherman nods again and another order is rapped out. This time a harpoon is

fired from the prow. It thuds into gOLDEN DRAGON and two of Cary Sherman's

dog-soldiers start to winch the line in. The two ships are hauled closer and

closer. The Vikings panic even more. Elektro80 holds up the Cloak Invisible and

grins round at his men, knowing he is going to surprise them.


Elektro80

Here! Here is the magic from the King's daughter!


Elektro80's men watch, half sceptical and half hopeful. Elektro80 enjoys the

moment of suspense. The he throws the Cloak Invisible over his head and shoulders

and grins round at his men triumphantly, imagining he has vanished from their

sight.


Elektro80

There! I have become the wind!


The Vikings look at him, rather puzzled. Only Norm Vogel seems to be impressed.


Norm Vogel

How did he do that?


Cyxeris'S DAD

Do what?


Norm Vogel

Vanish into thin air?
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Cyxeris



Joined: Oct 30, 2003
Posts: 1125
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Cyxeris'S DAD

He hasn't.


Norm Vogel

Well, where is he then?


Norm Vogel looks around. He is the only one who can't see Elektro80.


Cyxeris'S DAD

He's THERE!


At this point Cary Sherman's ship suddenly bites into the side of GOLDEN DRAGON.

Elektro80 leaps onto the side of GOLDEN DRAGON and swings across onto Cary

Sherman's ship. The Vikings react to the horror of Cary Sherman's ship biting into

GOLDEN DRAGON and to Elektro80's blithe leap onto the enemy boat. Elektro80 lands

on the deck of Cary Sherman's ship, and grins at the ferocious skull-helmeted

dog-soldiers.


Elektro80

Ooh! Scary! Scary! Don't we look mean?


Two dog-soldiers look at each other, totally non-plussed. Elektro80 grimaces at

Cary Sherman's men, and does a little pirouette to show them all that he's

invisible from every angle.


Elektro80

You can't see me! But I can see you!


He breaks into a little dance. Cary Sherman glares at his advisers.


Cary Sherman

What's going on?


GISLI ODDSSON

That's Elektro80.


Cary Sherman

Well, why isn't he scared of us?


Elektro80, meanwhile approaches one of the dog-soldiers and makes silly faces at

him.


Elektro80

Boo!


The dog-soldier topples overboard. The galley slaves watch another dog-soldier

fall into the hold amongst them and lie there stunned. His sword falls onto the

deck between the slaves. One of the slaves throws down his oar, and picks up the

dog-soldier's sword. The slave-master suddenly appears. Once again he speaks

immaculate JApanese.


SLAVE-MASTER

(subtitled)

Hey! What's going on? Your big-breasted women give me


no pleasure with their warmed-up fish and... Urgh!


The slave-master strides down the ship to flay the offending slave, but another

slave trips him up and in a twinkling of an eye four others have leapt on the

slave-master (despite their chains)


and are extracting his keys.


Cary Sherman

What's the matter? Haven't you seen anyone fight before?


DOG-SOLDIER 1

No.


DOG-SOLDIER 2

They're usually too scared of us.


Cary Sherman

KILL him!


Elektro80, still thinking he's invisible, is running amongst the dog- soldiers,

having fun. He runs one dog-soldier through and kicks another overboard, then he

runs past a few more, right up to Cary Sherman himself. He whisks the Cloak

Invisible off his head for an instant.


Elektro80

(thinking he's revealing himself)

Here I am!


Then he turns and is off. Cary Sherman turns to his aides.


Cary Sherman

What?


Back on GOLDEN DRAGON, the Vikings' disbelief has turned to admiration.


Cyxeris'S DAD

There! THAT'S a true Berserk.


Cyxeris

I'm just building up to it, Dad.


Cyxeris starts banging his head on the side of the boat.


EGW

He's gone batty!


Mosc

No! The fear's gone!


Cary Sherman grabs a sword off one of his dead dog-soldiers and thrusts it into

the unwilling hands of his military adviser, Eilif.


Cary Sherman

Fight, damn you! Fight!


Cut back to GOLDEN DRAGON. Now Cyxeris leaps across onto Cary Sherman's ship

followed by Seraph, yelling. EGW looks back at djfoxyfox.


EGW

Well! Come on!


djfoxyfox

I... I...


djfoxyfox is thinking: "Maybe I should let Cary Sherman win" but he knows he can't

let a thing like that happen, now he is faced with the reality of it. The

companionship of the voyage has brought them all too close for that.


djfoxyfox

(under his breath)

Hang the Blacksmith's Code!


djfoxyfox leaps to his feet and joins in the attack. Elektro80, meanwhile, is

swinging across the deck from a rope.


Elektro80

I am the air! I am the wind!


djfoxyfox and Mosc are now fighting side by side.


Mosc

This is life, eh?


djfoxyfox grins and strikes out. Seraph turns on Eilif who has reluctantly joined

the fray. Maybe he's singled Seraph out as the most harmless. Seraph suddenly

realizes he's only armed with drumsticks. Eilif smiles evilly.


Seraph

Ooh... er...


Eilif's sword slices through Seraph's drumsticks. Seraph turns to run, but is

stopped by a dog-soldier. Eilif takes the opportunity to run him through from

behind.


Seraph

(as he dies)

Ouch.


Elektro80 sees Seraph's demise.


Elektro80

Seraph!


Elektro80 leaps to take revenge. He jumps into the galley-pit and out again a la

Douglas Fairbanks in THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD and dispatches Eilif with a single

thrust. Cyxeris and his dad are fighting surrounded by dog- soldiers.


Cyxeris'S DAD

Well, go on! Go berserk!


Cyxeris

GIVE US A CHANCE, Dad!


EGW appears from behind.


EGW

(to Cyxeris's dad)

What about you? Why don't YOU go berserk?


Cyxeris'S DAD

I got to keep my eye on HIM...


Cyxeris's dad looks uneasy. He is surrounded and, as a seasoned campaigner, knows

they haven't much chance. Cary Sherman smiles to himself. The battle is going his

way. Mosc meanwhile is fighting two dog- soldiers but is attacked from behind by a

third.


Cyxeris

Look out! Mosc!


But it's too late. Mosc is run through the back. Cyxeris goes berserk and kills

all three dog-soldiers. Cyxeris's dad looks on, proud of his son for the first

time. Maybe their relationship will never be the same again. Now EGW sees

something that cheers him up. SLaves are coming up from below to join the battle.

They are armed with oars and swords. They join the fray, knocking dog-soldiers

overboard with their oars. The dog-soldier are suddenly outnumbered. Cary

Sherman's smile fades, and he looks around for an escape route. The tide of battle

has now turned dramatically as dog-soldier after dog-soldier is tossed over the

side or laid low by the combination of Vikings and slaves. Cary Sherman and Gisli

slip into a lifeboat and sneak off. The rats are leaving the sinking ship. Back on

the deck, all the dog-soldiers are dead or overboard. The slaves and Vikings are

cheering and embracing each other. At the other end of the boat, Cyxeris is

cradling the dying Mosc in his arms. All around are jubilant slaves celebrating

their freedom.


Cyxeris

Mosc! You can't die!


Mosc

I'm not frightened... of anything...


Cyxeris

You'll see my grandfather in Valhalla!


Mosc

(dying)

No... he's not... not... there...


Cyxeris

Tell him I'm coming!


Mosc dies. Cyxeris holds him and a tear comes down his face. The danger has made

comrades of the two rivals. Elektro80, however, is still fighting a last lone

dog-soldier; but just as he is about to run him through the dog-soldier is stabbed

in the back. He sinks to the floor, revealing another dog-soldier. Elektro80 is

outraged by this act of treachery and turns on the assassin.


DOG-SOLDIER

No! No" Wait! Please wait, Elektro80!


The dog-soldier pulls his mask off to reveal he is, in fact, Zach Horowitz.

Elektro80 is totally non-plussed.


Elektro80

Zach Horowitz! Where did YOU come from?


Zach Horowitz

Cary Sherman wanted to stop you waking the Gods... so... I disguised


myself to sabotage their plans.


Elektro80 has meanwhile been joined by the remaining comrades.


Zach Horowitz

To save YOU, Elektro80.


Elektro80 is about to say "But how can you see me? I'm wearing the Cloak

Invisible."


Elektro80

But -


Zach Horowitz

It was my master djfoxyfox's idea.


All eyes turn on djfoxyfox who looks very uncomfortable.


Zach Horowitz

Wasn't it, djfoxyfox?


djfoxyfox

Well... I... I thought...


djfoxyfox is overcome b the power of Zach Horowitz's will, but he is deeply

ashamed of his complicity in Zach Horowitz's deeds. EGW gazes at djfoxyfox with

growing suspicion.


Elektro80

But... How is it you can see me?

(he looks round)

You can all


see me?


Zach Horowitz

What d'you mean?


EGW AND OTHERS

Why shouldn't we see you?


Norm Vogel

I can't see him.


Elektro80

I'm wearing the Cloak Invisible....


Elektro80 takes it off to demonstrate.


Norm Vogel

Oh! There you are!


Elektro80

(to the others)

You mean... you could see me all the time?


The Vikings look at each other, mystified.


EGW

Weren't we supposed to?


Elektro80

Oh... I feel a little... oh...


Elektro80's knees give way and he faints onto the deck. Cut to King's Hall some

time later. A victory celebration is in progress. It is a little bit like a

Hampstead cocktail party, and the rough, battle-stained Vikings look rather out of

place holding their little canapes. Suddenly the King claps for silence.


KING Shawn Fanning

We are grateful to you, Elektro80, and to your men...


COURT

Yes, we are...


KING Shawn Fanning

And there is only ONE way we can repay you... Musicians!


King Shawn Fanning claps his hands. Elektro80 rushes over to him, anxious to avoid

another Hy-Brasilian concert.


Elektro80

(hurriedly)

Well, we'd love to hear you sing again, but what we'd really


appreciate would be if you could see your way to lending... not


giving of course...

(continuing)... but just lending us the....

um... the, well, to be quite blunt... the Horn Resounding.


All the time Elektro80 is talking the doors of the hall behind are opening and a

vast lur or horn is carried in by six bearers. One or two of the Vikings have

turned to look and are now standing speechless. King Shawn Fanning beams at

Elektro80.


KING Shawn Fanning

It's yours.


Now Elektro80 finally turns and looks at what everyone else is looking at.

Elektro80's jaw drops. Everyone in the court beams at Elektro80,except Aud who is

looking sad and disappointed.


Elektro80

(when he can find his voice)

Is THAT it?


A cloud passes over King Shawn Fanning's happy face.


KING Shawn Fanning

Is there something the matter with it?


Elektro80

Oh! No! No... of course not... it's just I hadn't expected it to be quite so big.


KING Shawn Fanning

Well, it's not called the Horn Resounding for nothing.

(aside)

You DO know how to play the horn, don't you?


Elektro80

Yes... oh, yes...


KING Shawn Fanning

Then I expect you'll be leaving first thing in the morning.


The King manhandles Elektro80 away from his daughter. Perhaps we have the feeling

that she's isn't going to let Elektro80 go as easily as that...Mix through to

later that night. The Vikings are lying asleep on the Great Hall, beside the Horn

Resounding. The camera closes in on djfoxyfox. Suddenly a voice comes from the

shadows:


VOICE

(whispering)

djfoxyfox! djfoxyfox Blacksmith!


djfoxyfox opens his eyes and finds Zach Horowitz close beside him.


Zach Horowitz

What's the matter, djfoxyfox Blacksmith? Have you forgotten why you came on this

voyage?


djfoxyfox is silent.


Zach Horowitz

Are you going to let Elektro80 wake the Gods?


djfoxyfox

How can we stops him now?


Zach Horowitz looks around and then opens his hand in front of djfoxyfox. In it is

the mouthpiece from the Horn Resounding.


Zach Horowitz

Take this and throw it from the cliff heights. They'll never make the Horn

Resounding sound without it.


djfoxyfox frowns. Then an obvious thought limps across his muscular mind.


djfoxyfox

But why me? Why don't you do it?


Somebody stirs.


Zach Horowitz

Sh! Hurry!


djfoxyfox

YOU do it!


Zach Horowitz

You'll be able to throw it further than I could.


djfoxyfox thinks. This is true.


Zach Horowitz

It must go far out to sea.


Zach Horowitz presses the mouthpiece on djfoxyfox. djfoxyfox takes it, but

reluctantly. Another Viking stirs.


Zach Horowitz

Surely you haven't forgotten the Blacksmith's Oath?


djfoxyfox is about to reply and say he's been having second thoughts about it, but

somehow he can't. Zach Horowitz has such power over him.


djfoxyfox

I...


Suddenly another Viking stirs, and Zach Horowitz hisses at him.


Zach Horowitz

Hurry!


Zach Horowitz pretend to go back to sleep. djfoxyfox (feeling a bit lumbered)

thinks about his task and hesitates... Who knows? Perhaps he is about to stand

firm, but Zach Horowitz plays his trump card.


Zach Horowitz

(without opening his eyes)

Or I might have to tell Elektro80 why you really came on this voyage.


djfoxyfox is caught. He closes his eyes in resignation and then reluctantly starts

to make his way out of the Hall. As he gets to the doors he trips over EGW, who

wakes. The mouthpiece falls a few feet away.


EGW

Who's that?


djfoxyfox

It's me. I'm just going to water the dragon...

(he gives a false laugh)


EGW

Oh...


EGW notices the silver mouthpiece on the floor, but he pretends he hasn't.


EGW

Oh... clumsy idiot.


EGW pretends to go back to sleep, but he opens one eye and watches djfoxyfox

Blacksmith recover the mouthpiece, and then follows djfoxyfox out. Zach Horowitz

gets up too. He follows to keep an eye on EGW. Cut to Aud on the shore, gazing

moodily out to sea. She is brooding in Elektro80's imminent departure. Suddenly a

stone falls from above; she looks up and sees a figure appear on the cliff above.

Hurriedly she withdraws into the shadows. djfoxyfox Blacksmith appears on the

cliff-top. In his hands he holds the mouthpiece of the Horn Resounding. e examines

it, turning over in his mind whether he is doing the right thing or not. then he

decides he must.


djfoxyfox

(to himself)

My fellow blacksmiths.


He prepares to throw it.


EGW

djfoxyfox!


djfoxyfox jumps out of his skin.


djfoxyfox

What?


EGW

What are you doing, djfoxyfox Blacksmith?


djfoxyfox

Get away, EGW.


EGW

What have you got there?


EGW advances towards djfoxyfox. djfoxyfox backs away, dangerously near to the edge

of the cliff. His boot slips and he jerks himself forward. At the same time EGW

makes a grab for the mouthpiece. A scuffle ensues, during which the mouthpiece of

the Horn Resounding is dropped. It bounces off the cliff and falls down to the

shore below. Aud steps out of the shadow and picks it up. She frowns and looks up,

and then screams, as she sees the men fighting.


AUD

No!


But it's too late. EGW goes white, gives a hideous gasp... and sinks slowly to his

knees - revealing Zach Horowitz standing behind him with a bloody knife. As

djfoxyfox and Zach Horowitz watch EGW die, a drop of blood from the knife falls to

the ground. The moment it lands, there is a deep subterranean groan, and the earth

begins to tremble violently. djfoxyfox and Zach Horowitz look around in alarm.


djfoxyfox

Oh Gods! What have we done?


Back in the King's Hall, Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and Norm Vogel are wide awake, but

for the moment paralysed, as bits of masonry crash around them. The cheerful

figure of King Shawn Fanning appears at the top of a stairway. He raises his

hands.


KING Shawn Fanning

Stay calm! This is NOT happening.


The King then hurries out of a door at the top of the staircase.


Cyxeris'S DAD

What did he say?


Elektro80

Look out!


The doors of the Great Hall burst open and a wall of water crashes through,

knocking the Vikings off their feet. There is little doubt that the whole of

Hy-Brasil is sinking see a street go down, a statue sink and then we Cut to a

close-up of King Shawn Fanning. He is standing at the top of the Forum steps

addressing a crowd of anxious citizens. They are keeping surprisingly good order

considering they are already standing ankle-deep in water, and the whole town is

rapidly sinking around them.


KING Shawn Fanning

Now, I know what some of you must be thinking... the day has come.... we're all

going down, etc. etc. But let's get away from the fantasy and look at the FACTS.

FACT ONE - The threat of total destruction has kept the peace for one thousand

years. FACT TWO - The chances of it failing now are therefore one in three hundred

and sixty-five thousand. FACT THREE...


By this time the water is up to people's knees, and several have crowded onto the

lower steps to avoid getting wet.


KING Shawn Fanning

FACT THREE - Our safety regulations are the most rigorous in the world. We are all

nice to each other, we never rub each other up the wrong way or contradict each

other, do we?


CROWD

No.


Rumble. The buildings sink and masonry falls.


CITIZEN

We... er... do seem to be going down quite fast, Your Majesty - not trying to

contradict you, course.


KING Shawn Fanning

No, of course you're not, citizen. But let's stick to the facts. There has NEVER

been a safer, more certain way of keeping the peace. So whatever's happening, you

can rest assured, Hy-Brasil is NOT sinking. Repeat, NOT sinking.


We cut to an unfortunate Hy-Brasilian who looks out of a window to see if it's

raining, but is immersed before he can find out. The citizens in the Forum,

however, are reassured by the King's words - even though they are now up to their

waists in water. One of them steps forward.


ANOTHER CITIZEN

May I just make a point in support of what King Shawn Fanning's just said?


KING Shawn Fanning

We'd be delighted - wouldn't we?


CITIZENS

Yes, we'd certainly like to hear what one of us has got to say...


Elektro80, Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and Norm Vogel struggle out of the Great Hall,

carrying their belongings and the Horn Resounding, while the citizen is still

speaking most articulately in support of the King. They are ALMOST in a panic.


Elektro80

What are you all doing?


CITIZEN AT THE BACK

(cheerfully)

It's all right. It's not happening.


Elektro80

(urgently)

The place is sinking!


CITIZEN AT THE BACK

Yes... I thought it was too, but the King's just pointed out that it can't be.


CITIZEN

(still speaking in support of the King)

...and, of course, we mustn't forget King Shawn Fanning's EXCELLENT eye for

flower-arranging.


There is a smattering of applause. A few people pull their robes up out of the

wet. Elektro80 leaps onto a wall and shouts to the crowd.


Elektro80

Save yourselves! Hy-Brasil... is sinking.


There are a lot of knowing smiles amongst the citizens.


CITIZEN FROM MIDDLE

Look, you don't know our safety regulations.


KING Shawn Fanning

It can't happen.


Elektro80

But it IS! Look!


KING Shawn Fanning

(ignoring Elektro80)

The important thing is not to panic.


CITIZENS

Quite... yes... we understand....


KING Shawn Fanning

I've already appointed the Chancellor as Chairman of a committee to find out

exactly what IS going on, and meantime I suggest we have a sing-song!


CITIZENS

Good idea!


ANOTHER

Can we do the one that goes "TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM-TI-TUM"?


Elektro80 looks around in despair. Meanwhile in another street someone is

struggling in the floodwater.


Zach Horowitz

I can't swim! I can't swim!


djfoxyfox

Relax!


Zach Horowitz

I'm drowning! Help!


Zach Horowitz grabs djfoxyfox round the neck.


djfoxyfox

Let go!


But djfoxyfox is pulled under. He re-emerges spluttering.


djfoxyfox

Urrgh! Argh! Let go, you idiot!


Zach Horowitz

Help!


djfoxyfox

You'll drown us bo...


But they go under again. At this point Elektro80, Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and Norm

Vogel swim round the corner, pushing the Horn Resounding. They see the figures

disappearing under the water.


djfoxyfox

Help!


Zach Horowitz

Help!


Elektro80, Cyxeris and Co. swim as fast as they can to rescue the drowning pair.

They struggle to overpower the panic-stricken Zach Horowitz, but he puts up a

manic fight. Unexpectedly, Norm Vogel Missionary suddenly unleashes a vicious

right hook and lays Zach Horowitz out cold. There is a moment's stunned silence

that is no unmingled with indignation.


Cyxeris

(with hurt surprise)

You hit him!


Norm Vogel

Well, it's what you're supposed to do... isn't it?


Cyxeris'S DAD

Look!


They look up as GOLDEN DRAGON sails around a corner of the street, piloted by Aud.

As the Vikings scramble aboard, the sound of the "sing-song" reaches a

particularly noisy and discordant climax attract their attention. Back in what was

the Forum, a crowd of unconcerned-looking citizens is sitting on the last roof and

just coming to the end of another appalling song.


CITIZENS

...Te...Tum!


KING

You know, I think we're getting better.


CITIZEN 1

(with genuine interest)

How can you tell?


KING

(a bit stumped)

Er...


AUD

Father!


The King looks up.


KING Shawn Fanning

It's all right! It isn't happening!


AUD

But, Father, it IS!


Elektro80

Get on board!


CITIZEN 2

No THANKS!


CITIZEN 3

Who do you think YOU are?


CITIZEN 1

Panic-monger!


The roof is now sinking rapidly, though the citizens appear as unperturbed as

ever.


CITIZEN

Leave us alone!


Cyxeris

Yeah. Leave 'em alone.


AUD

It's sinking! Hy-Brasil is sinking!


KING Shawn Fanning

Well, my dear, I think you'll find it's all a question of what you want to believe

in.... I have slightly more experience of these matters than you...


Unfortunately, at this point, the entire gathering of citizens, the King and the

Forum Temple disappear below the waves.


AUD

Father!

(tears spring to her eyes)

Norm Vogel Missionary has put his arm around Aud in a fatherly way.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

There, my child... It's at times like this that this book can be a great help...


Elektro80 shoos him away.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

(with his usual promptness)

Right!


GOLDEN DRAGON spins alone in the wide ocean. Fade. Fade up some time later. They

are all gathered in front of the Horn Resounding.


Elektro80

(to himself)

We must blow the first note... he note that will take us to Asgaard...


Cyxeris

(nervously and with awe in his voice)

Over the Edge of the World.


The other men look up at the Horn Resounding, and begin to feel a bit nervous.


Elektro80

We are going where only the dead have been before...


Elektro80 takes a deep breath and then puts his lips to the Horn Resounding. He

blows. There is a splutter, and one or two of the Vikings titter amongst

themselves. He has another go. But again, all he produces is a pathetic

spluttering.


Cyxeris

(not unkindly in his manner)

Uh! Here! Give it to me!


Cyxeris pushes Elektro80 aside. Cyxeris blow... he becomes redder and redder. But

all he produces is a splutter. He gets a bit angry.


Cyxeris

Thor's blood!


Cyxeris's dad looks heavenwards.


Cyxeris'S DAD

You're not using the right technique.


Cyxeris's dad tries to take it over.


Cyxeris

No! I'm doing it!


They start to struggle.


Cyxeris

(getting angry)

You're always telling me... TELLING me!


Elektro80 tries to separate them.


Elektro80

Cyxeris!


Cyxeris

(to his dad)

Let me do something for myself for a change!


Suddenly Aud comes forward.


AUD

No! Don't quarrel!


Cyxeris and his dad stop fighting, surprised by the vehement in her voice.


AUD

We'll never get where we want to go if we fight.


Aud crosses to the Horn and inserts the mouthpiece. Zach Horowitz glances at

djfoxyfox. He hadn't bargained for this!


Zach Horowitz

Er... don't blow it! You never know WHAT might happen...


AUD

It has not spoken for a thousand years... You must bring it to life with a kiss...


She puts her lips to the mouthpiece and just touches it with them... almost a

kiss... then... very gently... she begins to blow... a soft... slight note can

just be heard... Aud takes her mouth away from the mouthpiece... and the soft note

goes on... reverberating... A sweet note... a magic note... the Vikings stand

stock-still, enchanted by the sound... and the sound all the time is getting

louder and the Horn begins to vibrate with the note. As the volume increases the

GOLDEN DRAGON itself begins to reverberate with the sound. Rings of ripples begin

to radiate out from the boat across the calm water. The note grows louder and

louder, and the Vikings, who at first were laughing and cheering at Aud's success,

begin to get rather alarmed. Louder and louder gets the note and the Horn shakes

and the boat vibrates. Things start to be shaken loose, and fall onto the deck.

Ropes uncoil and run loose. A heavy block suddenly crashes down to the deck,

crowning Norm Vogel and laying him out flat. Louder and louder grows the note, and

the Vikings have to stop their ears for the pain. The water around the ship

becomes more and more agitated. And then another sound is heard. It is the thunder

of water in the distance like a million distant waterfalls. And suddenly they

notice the sea is running like a river - all in one direction... sweeping the ship

forward with incredible momentum. In no time they are engAgentAed in a mist, still

travelling at a rate of knots. Almost at once appointed rock looms out of the mist

ahead of them. Elektro80 flings himself at the steering oar, and everyone is

thrown about as the ship veers wildly and just misses the rock, only to see

another looming up ahead of them. The ship veers again, as a third rock looms

ahead. This time Cyxeris has grabbed a coil of rope, and as they pass the third

rock, he throws it like a lasso over the rock. Zach Horowitz and djfoxyfox leap to

grab the rope just as the rope goes taut and the ship comes to a lurching stop,

anchored by the rope, but still swaying and buffeted in the racing waters. Those

on board shout to each other, soaked to the skin. It is difficult to make out what

they are shouting.


Zach Horowitz

Help!


AUD

What are you doing?


Zach Horowitz

What d'you think? Help! Somebody help us!


Cyxeris

Shut up!


Zach Horowitz

(pointing at Aud)

She wants to kill us!


djfoxyfox

She wants to take us over the Edge of the World!


AUD

You want to get to Asgaard, don't you?


Zach Horowitz

How do we know this is the way?


Elektro80

(shouting)

We blew the Horn Resounding.


Zach Horowitz

(screaming and pointing an accusing finger at Aud)

SHE blew the Horn


Resounding.


djfoxyfox

(shouting)

Don't you see, Elektro80! She wants revenge!


Elektro80

What are you talking about?


Zach Horowitz

(to djfoxyfox)

Shut up!


djfoxyfox

She knows it was our fault!


Zach Horowitz

Keep your mouth shut, djfoxyfox!


djfoxyfox

No! It's YOU, Zach Horowitz! I should never have listened to you!


Zach Horowitz looks around desperately.


Zach Horowitz

You've lost your mind.


djfoxyfox

We came to stop you waking the Gods, Elektro80! But I didn't want anyone to get

hurt!


Zach Horowitz

You fool!


Suddenly Zach Horowitz produces his stiletto and leaps onto djfoxyfox, stabbing at

him.


Zach Horowitz

I should have got rid of you long ago!


djfoxyfox

Like you got rid of EGW!


Elektro80 tries to separate them.


AUD

No! No! We are in the spell of the Horn! Hatred will destroy us.


Elektro80

That's right!


For a split second Elektro80 is distracted. He looks across at Aud and for a

moment he sees Freya standing there.


FREYA

Once you are in the spell of the Horn, hatred will destroy you...


Then it is Aud once more. But in that split second Zach Horowitz has stabbed

Elektro80.


Elektro80

Arrgh!


Elektro80 staggers back clutching his arm. djfoxyfox gives a roar of rage, and

picks Zach Horowitz up bodily and hurls him out of the boat into the maelstrom.

The other Vikings look on aghast. djfoxyfox turns on them


djfoxyfox

He killed EGW! He caused the land of Hy-Brasil to sink! SHE knew!


AUD

I didn't know!


djfoxyfox

Now she wants to send us over the Edge of the World!


AUD

How else d'you think we're going to get to Asgaard?


The Vikings look at each other amidst the roaring waters and the thick spray.

Elektro80 holds his bleeding arm and looks at Aud. Should he trust her or not?

Suddenly he turns on the others.


Elektro80

(shouting above the din)

Do YOU know the way to Asgaard, djfoxyfox Blacksmith?


djfoxyfox shakes his head.


Elektro80

Do YOU know the way to Asgaard, Cyxeris?


Cyxeris shakes his head.


Elektro80

There is one road before us, and that leads over the Edge of the World.


Norm Vogel sits up as he returns to consciousness.


Norm Vogel

There IS no Edge of the World.


Cyxeris's dad bonks him again. Elektro80 takes the rope and begins paying it out.

With grim faces the Vikings turn and face towards the roaring of the waters, as

Elektro80 edge the ship further into the mist. The noise is deafening. It would be

almost impossible to hear any voice above it. The faces of the Vikings betray

their fear as they find themselves emerging from out of the mist at the Edge of

the World. They gape as they find themselves confronted by a Waterfall of Seas -

stretching on either side of them - as far as the eye can see - water falling and

plunging over the lip of the world. And in front of them - the blue sky continues

on down and down until it shades into blackness strewn with stars beneath their

feet... Cyxeris, Cyxeris's dad and djfoxyfox edge to the prow and gasp.


AUD

No! Don't look over the Edge!


Elektro80 lets out a little more rope, until the ship is protruding over the edge.

Cyxeris, his dad and djfoxyfox peer over the side, and stare down into the abyss.

They gasp. From above we see the prow of GOLDEN DRAGON and the backs of the

Vikings' heads in plain view against a backdrop of stars below them.


Elektro80

Let me see!


Aud holds him back.


AUD

No. Don't look... The abyss will suck away your strength.


Elektro80

I MUST look! djfoxyfox! Hold this!


Elektro80 turns to see Cyxeris and djfoxyfox trembling... They hold onto the sides

of the ship but their legs can barely support them.


Cyxeris

There is nothing we can do...


Cyxeris'S DAD

Helpless...


djfoxyfox start to laugh.


djfoxyfox

Ha ha... I believed Zach Horowitz... I believed I had a duty to blacksmiths! Ha ha

ha!


djfoxyfox laughs a little hysterically. Aud turns urgently to Elektro80.


AUD

YOU still want to go to Asgaard?


Elektro80

Of course.


AUD

Do you believe I love you?


Elektro80

I... but I...


AUD

You don't have to love me. Just: do you believe I love YOU?


Elektro80

Yes - I believe you do.


AUD

Then let go!


Elektro80 hesitates, then he decides to believe in Aud. He throws the rope away.

At once the ship shoots off over the Edge of the World into space... Everything

seems to slow down, as the longship drops down and down... the ship twists slowly

as it drops.... round and round. The Vikings gaze about them in wonder, as they

find their ship if falling in silence amongst the stars. Norm Vogel comes to once

again.


Norm Vogel

I'm still seeing stars.


djfoxyfox looks round at him.


djfoxyfox

We're ALL seeing stars.


Norm Vogel

No! I was hit on the head.


The longship falls and falls through the star-strewn space until it softly lands

in a white wilderness. On the deck the Vikings are huddles up, covered with

rime-frost. It seems as if they have been lying there half-frozen for some time.

Perhaps the entire adventure has all been a dream, and they have been stuck in the

Arctic pack-ice the whole time. The hallucinations of men near to death. Aud tries

to wake Elektro80.


AUD

Don't sleep... wake... Look!


Elektro80 opens his eyes and, for an instant, he sees Helga. He blinks and

realizes it is Aud who is calling him back to consciousness. Suddenly coloured

lights begin to play to his face.


Elektro80

Bi-Frost... The Rainbow Bridge.


Above them the Aurora Borealis stretches up, magnificent and awesome in the sky.

Elektro80 makes his way through the other Vikings.


Elektro80

Wake up!


The others slowly begin to rouse themselves from their icy slumber and sit up,

awed by the sight.


djfoxyfox

(whispering)

Are we dead?


VIKINGS

The Rainbow Bridge.


They all peer up at the ever-changing colours of the Aurora Borealis, hanging in

the sky above them like organ-pipes. But something is happening. The lights begin

to fade to reveal a magical city on a mountain. The Vikings realize that this is

journey's end.... they have reached Asgaard... the City of the Gods. The Vikings

all catch their breaths and gaze in awe.


Elektro80

Asgaard!


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

Where?


Cyxeris'S DAD

Up there, you fathead.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

Up WHERE?


Norm Vogel look round quizzically at the others. It is clear that he can see

nothing.


Elektro80

Look! It's real.


Norm Vogel looks around at the others.


Norm Vogel

Hallucinations are real.


It's no use; Norm Vogel can see nothing. The Vikings, transfixed by the sight of

their fabled home of the Gods, rise to their feet. Aud whispers to Elektro80.


AUD

The second note.


Elektro80

The second not to wake the Gods...


Elektro80 kneels in front of the Horn.


AUD

Gently...


Elektro80 blows... a soft gentle note... He takes his mouth away, and smiles at

Aud. Once again the Horn stars to vibrate and the note gets louder... the ship

starts to vibrate... louder and louder... The whole landscape starts to vibrate...

louder and louder grows the not until even the stars in the sky are vibrating and

then a magical thing starts to happen... The note fades as one by one the

shimmering stars start to fall out of the night sky... they fall like silver

snow... until the ship... the Vikings... Asgaard... the whole landscape is covered

in sparkling dust... then in the ensuing silence the first light begins to glow in

the Halls of Asgaard... then another... and another... Elektro80 stares as is

bewitched and slowly begins to climb out of GOLDEN DRAGON.... but Aud tries to

pull him back.


AUD

Elektro80! You've done what you came to do!


Elektro80

Not quite...


Aud looks at him.


AUD

Blow the third note! The note to take us home!


Elektro80

There is something I must ask the Gods...


AUD

No living man has ever set foot in the Halls of Asgaard... The Gods will never let

you return.


Elektro80 looks at her... for a moment... But he knows he has no choice.


Cyxeris

I came to find my grandfather.


Elektro80

I have to go...


AUD

Then I shall come too.


Elektro80

(stares at her)

No... no..


AUD

I don'T want to live WITHOUT you.


Elektro80

But, Aud... I... I came to find someone...


Aud is about to say "Her?", but she bites the word back and looks down at the

ground.


Elektro80

I'm sorry, Aud... I really am.


Aud kisses Elektro80, who then turns and climbs out of GOLDEN DRAGON and sets off

across the ice. Cyxeris follows.


Cyxeris'S DAD

Wait for me! I'll be dead soon anyway...


djfoxyfox

You can't go without me!


They follow. Even Norm Vogel Missionary starts to follow.


Norm Vogel

Where are they all going?


AUD

Aren't you afraid?


Norm Vogel

Oh... There's nothing for ME to be afraid OF.


Norm Vogel smiles and sets off after the others. Aud follows. The stars have

fallen to form a shining, winding pathway up to the City of the Gods. This is what

the Vikings head for. Between them and the Citadel strange huge forms rise up. The

Vikings approach and find the vast skeletons of the slain giants. The Vikings are

but tiny gnat-sized figures wending their way between the vast figures. They climb

the stairway-path of stars, up the winding road and eventually fins themselves

outside the massive doors of Asgaard.


Elektro80

Valhalla...


Cyxeris turns on Norm Vogel.


Cyxeris

There! It's real! It's solid! Now do you believe us?


He pats the wall of Valhalla - the Great Hall. Norm Vogel reaches out, but his

hand goes right through the wall.


Norm Vogel

There isn't anything.


Norm Vogel Missionary walks straight through the wall and disappears from sight.

The Vikings gasp, and run up to feel the point where he disappeared. The door is

perfectly solid to them, and they jump pout of their skins as Norm Vogel suddenly

reappears again.


Norm Vogel

You're having me on, aren't you?


Elektro80

It's Valhalla - where the warriors slain in battle go.


AUD

It doesn't exist for him.


Cyxeris'S DAD

He's just s cynic.


At this moment there is a creak and the great doors mysteriously swing open. As if

mesmerized, the Vikings enter the Halls of Asgaard. The door slams behind them.

They spin round, but the doors have vanished... No man has ever entered the Halls

of Asgaard and left alive... Elektro80 slowly starts to cross the vast floor

looking around him as he does so. One by one the other Vikings follow. After a

while Elektro80 stops.


Elektro80

Listen!


The Vikings listen. They hear the sound of children laughing and shouting.

Elektro80 and his men follow through the columns towards a pool of light. The

scene that greets their eyes is not at all what they had been prepared for.

Valhalla is not full of the warriors slain in battle, quaffing mead on the

ale-bench and reliving old battles - it is, instead full of children romping,

laughing, shouting, quarrelling and playing games... chess, fencing... dice...

tag, etc., around a wide hearth fire. Women are cooking and doing other

housewifely things... weaving, making bread, etc. It is a thoroughly domestic

scene. Suddenly one of them turns at Elektro80. It is Helga, whom Elektro80

accidentally killed in Scene One. She is once again kneading dough. She has a red

stain under her breast.


HELGA

Oh good! It's Mr Wonderful!


Elektro80 leaps to her side.


Elektro80

I've come to take you back to the land of the living.


HELGA

What a stupid idea.


Elektro80

(mortally hurt)

Why?


HELGA

What's the point of being dead in the land of the living?


Elektro80

I'll ask the Gods to give you life again!


Helga looks at Elektro80 very sceptically. She obviously thinks he doesn't know

what he's talking about. Aud reacts. Elektro80 takes Helga's hand - and gets

covered in dough.


HELGA

Have you tried to ask the God for anything?


Elektro80

Well... no...


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

Who is he talking to?


AUD

Sh!


HELGA

Odin!


One of the children, throwing pennies against the wall, looks round.


CHILD ODIN

I'm busy.


The Vikings are recovering from their surprise.


VIKINGS

Odin?


HELGA

(getting back to her kneating)

He's busy.


Elektro80

Is THAT Odin?


HELGA

You'll have to wait till he's finished his game.


Elektro80

(shouting across)

Odin!


Odin leaves his game and saunters towards Elektro80.


Elektro80

We have come from the world of Midgard...


The child whom Odin is playing with points his hammer at the ground near Elektro80

and a lightning bolt zaps into it.

Elektro80 jumps.


CHILD-THOR

Clear off.


ODIN

No, wait, Thor.


Elektro80

You must help us.


ODIN

We don't HAVE to help anybody.


Elektro80

RIAA the Wolf covers the sun - men fight and kill each other


the whole time.


ODIN

Why should WE care?


Elektro80

Because... you're... you're the Gods....


ODIN

So?


Elektro80

Bring the Age of Creative Exploitation to an end and stop all this fighting and

bloodshed. Norm Vogel looks around at the Vikings in increasing desperation.


Norm Vogel

This is ridiculous.


VIKINGS

Sh!


Norm Vogel

Right!


The other Child-Gods have stopped playing around now and are watching Elektro80

and Odin.


ODIN

Elektro80 the Viking! The things you seek are not in our power. We don't make men

love each other or hate each other.


Elektro80

But you're the Gods!


ODIN

Look... Elektro80...


Odin whistles. The other children look over their shoulders. From out of the

darkness of the perimeter of the Hall, shadows emerge... shadows that, as they

shuffle and stumble into the light, reveal themselves to be the heroes that the

Vikings had expected to find in Valhalla. But they are not hale and hearty giants

quaffing mead and reliving their great battles... they are, in fact, a sorry

lot... the slain-in-battle still bearing the hideous deformities of their fatal

wounds. Most have a sword or an axe buried in some part of their anatomy. One has

been cleft in twain... The Vikings react to this grisly gathering as more and more

of them emerge from the shadows. They gasp as they notice EGW, Seraph, Mosc, Zach

Horowitz and Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky.


Elektro80

EGW! Seraph!


Norm Vogel

Here we are standing on a bare mountain top talking to thin air.


We notice that Norm Vogel's cloak is being blown about as if he were indeed on a

bare mountain top. The other's cloaks are still. Cyxeris's dad is gazing across at

one horribly mutilated specimen.


Cyxeris'S DAD

Dad!


djfoxyfox

(disbelievingly)

How can you tell?


Cyxeris'S DAD

I'll never forget him! The BASTARD!


Cyxeris reacts. Cyxeris's dad starts to go berserk.


Cyxeris'S DAD

He drove me mad!


Cyxeris

Easy, Dad!


Cyxeris'S DAD

All his "you'll never be a Berserk if you lose your temper"...


Cyxeris

Dad!


Cyxeris'S DAD

I hate you! I hate you!


Cyxeris's dad collapses against Cyxeris and Cyxeris comforts him, understandingly.

A figure emerges from the throng of dead. It is Mosc. Cyxeris looks up at him.


Mosc

You won, Cyxeris.


Zach Horowitz

What right have YOU to try and stop men fighting, Elektro80 the Viking? There is

glory in battle. There are riches to be made and won...


djfoxyfox

Made by YOU, Zach Horowitz!


Zach Horowitz

By YOU - djfoxyfox Blacksmith! Don't you know, Elektro80, that is why he went with

you? Creative Exploitation was good for his business...


djfoxyfox

It's not my business any more!


Suddenly there is a howl... a bitter howl that echoes above and around the Halls

of Asgaard and that gets more distant and more distant. Everyone (including the

dead heroes and the Gods) freezes and looks up, listening. Perhaps we cut away to

the boiling sky as it resolves itself into the shape of a wolf that snarls and

slinks away. Odin turns to Elektro80 as the howling recedes.


ODIN

RIAA the Wolf has gone, Elektro80. But will men cease fighting each other? THAT is

not in our power...


Odin starts to laugh. All the other children start to laugh... so do the dead

heroes. Elektro80 and his men look round uneasily.


Elektro80

I have one more request before we return...


Elektro80 turns towards Helga, who is still standing at her trough of dough with

her arms up to her elbows in flour. Aud watches Elektro80 with sadness in her

heart.


ODIN

Return? You have set your foot in the Halls of Asgaard, Elektro80.


You cannot return.


Aud looks round to see how the others react. It is as she had feared. Elektro80

pales. The blood drains from the other's faces. Aud whispers something to Norm

Vogel. Norm Vogel looks at her blankly.


AUD

(whispering)

PLEASE!


Norm Vogel

But you're all imagining this... whatever it is.


AUD

(earnestly)

You're the only one who can. PLEASE.


Norm Vogel look around at the dumbfounded Vikings. Then he shrugs and wanders off,

disappearing through the closed doors of Valhalla.


Elektro80

You mean... we must stay here forever?


As he says this Elektro80's eyes turn again towards Helga. He is clearly thinking

at least there are compensations... Odin, however, is laughing again.


ODIN

Stay HERE? Ha ha! This is Valhalla. This is reserved for those slain-in-battle.


HORRIBLY SLAIN WARRIOR

(grinning cheerfully)

Yeah! We're the LUCKY ones!


A HORRIBLY SLAIN FRIEND OF HIS

Yeah. It's much better than dying of old age.


The ghastly and dismembered dead warriors all chortle no end at the dismay written

on the face of Elektro80 and his men. At the same time there is a grinding,

winching sound. All those around the hearth-place fall back as a vast grating is

winched up from out of the flames. The Vikings look at each other.


ODIN

For YOU there is only the Pit of Hel!


As Odin says this there is a roaring sound and the flames and smoke are suddenly

reversed and as the roaring increases the flames are sucked down altogether to

reveal the black Pit of Hel itself. And now the Pit is sucking the Vikings into

it... their hair blows... they try to withstand the force that is drawing them

towards the abyss... The Gods look on in some amusement. But some of the dead are

concerned.


Cyxeris'S GRANDFATHER

Son! My son!


Cyxeris'S DAD

Get lost!


Cyxeris

Dad! Grandfather!


Cyxeris tries to reconcile his father and grandfather, but it's no use. He is

sucked towards the Pit.


VIKINGS

Help!


Elektro80

(to Helga)

I tried to save you!


HELGA

Why should you care?


Elektro80

I don't know! I just did!


Elektro80 can no longer withstand the force that is sucking him down to the Pit of

Hel. Suddenly, however, EGW has leapt from the ranks of the dead. He grabs

Elektro80 and tries to stop him sliding towards the Pit of Hel. But it's no good.


Elektro80

No! Let go, EGW!


EGW

I've got you!


Elektro80

You'll be sucked down too!


EGW

No! Arrgh!


Meanwhile, Seraph and Mosc and Static Strobe Emitter the Lucky have also leapt

forward to save their comrades. They put up a fantastic struggle but remorselessly

they are all sucked down.


VIKINGS

Aagh!


The Vikings clutch at the stone floor, their fingers trace blood as they try to

cling on... but to no avail. The first are already toppling into the Pit.


VIKINGS

Noooh!


VIKINGS

Ah!


And the rest - including Aud - soon follow. The mouth of the Pit of Hel, through

which the Vikings are now tumbling higgledy-piggledy, is a round white disc set in

the unutterable blackness of the pit. However, as the Vikings free-fall slowly

towards camera, they are lit up by a faint, reddish glow from below. They are

staring, wild-eyed and screaming as they fall. As they fall, Elektro80 manages to

smash his axe into the side of the Pit. Mosc grabs his leg and holds onto

Cyxeris's foot. Static Strobe Emitter clutches at Cyxeris's belt. Cyxeris's dad

hangs onto Cyxeris's foot. Seraph clutches Mosc's foot. Elektro80 clutches

Seraph's leg and Aud clutches Elektro80's. They dangle like this for some seconds,

and look fearfully beneath them. Then they can see the Infernal Regions of flame

and molten lava... somehow suggesting the face of a huge and sinister creature. No

wonder they're scared out of their wits. Meanwhile, Odin and Thor appear at the

top of the Pit and look down with mild amusement. Thor casually points his hammer

and a streak of lightning zaps Elektro80's axe. It instantly glows red hot.

Elektro80 screams. Suddenly we hear a new sound - a long, high, sweet note.


AUD

Listen! LISTEN! The third note!


But it's no good. Elektro80 has to let go of the red-hot axe. Everyone screams as

they start to plunge down towards the Pit of Hel. Cut to GOLDEN DRAGON. Norm Vogel

Missionary is blowing the Horn Resounding.


Norm Vogel MISSIONARY

(to himself)

I want to go home... Oooh!


Suddenly GOLDEN DRAGON, the Horn Resounding and Norm Vogel Missionary shoot up

into the air and disappear from sight. Cut back to the Pit of Hel. The Vikings are

looking down as they fall - they are still scared but gradually start laughing...

laughing as they fall down and down and down until they fall out of sight. We are

left with a blackness and just the white disc of the mouth of the Pit of Hel

above, until the disc changes magically into the moon. There is a series of

splashes. The note begins to fade and the camera slowly pans down to reveal the

Vikings all fallen into the duck pond back at Ravensfjord. They are laughing and

whooping and splashing each other.


Elektro80

I don't believe it... Ha ha ha! It brought us HOME!


Static Strobe Emitter

But who BLEW it?


Seraph

Oh! Who cares? We're HOME!


Mosc

Mum! Dad!


Cyxeris

We're back!


Cyxeris embraces his father and dances him around with joy.


ALL


Yo hoo! We're here! We're...


Suddenly the joy drains from their faces and they each gape in horror. What is it

they see? We cut to see that out of the huts the women and children and old men

are emerging - but they are anything but happy. In fact they are all bound and

gagged. Behind them emerge the sinister figures of Cary Sherman the Black, Gisli

and maybe half a dozen armed men. Cary Sherman and his cronies no longer look

sleek and self-assured. They are haggard and desperate. Their faces are streaked

with dirt and sweat, and their clothes are torn and soiled. They have clearly been

going through a lean time, since Creative Exploitation ended, and have descended

on the village for revenge and for whatever plunder they can find. They have a few

sackfuls of booty with them. They herd the women, children and old men into a

pathetic huddle in the middle of the village. Cary Sherman is spitting evil and

hatred.


Cary Sherman

Throw down your weapons - or we shoot the children first.


Elektro80 hesitates... The others look at him. What choice have they? Reluctantly,

Elektro80 throws his weapons into the pond. The others follow suit. Cary Sherman

watches. His men stand around him in a tight group with their backs to each other.


Cary Sherman

Good... Good... Right, now we'll just shoot the children anyway...


Elektro80 is paralysed. What can they do? Half Cary Sherman's men are aiming their

crossbows at Elektro80 and his comrades, and half are aiming at the women and

children. They raise the crossbows to shoot. Their fingers tighten on the

triggers. Suddenly there is a scream from above.


Norm Vogel

Look out below!


Everyone looks up and, amazingly, out of the sky falls GOLDEN DRAGON and lands

fair and square on top of Cary Sherman and his gang, squashing them flat. Norm

Vogel Missionary staggers blearily from the wreckage.


GRIMHILD HOUSEWIFE

Norm Vogel!


She rushes to Norm Vogel, while the Vikings rush to release their loved ones.

Great celebrations all round.


Seraph

Look!


They all turn and see the sun rising. The villagers gasp in wonder. They've never

seen the sun before. Elektro80 looks around and sees Mosc and Cyxeris with their

arms round each other. Aud looks up as Elektro80 smiles at he and holds her to

him. Then they all turn and gaze at the spectacle of the sun returning to the

world.

THE END

_________________
∆ Cyx ∆

"Yeah right, who's the only one here who knows secret illegal ninja moves from the government?"
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seraph
Editor
Editor


Joined: Jun 21, 2003
Posts: 12398
Location: Firenze, Italy
Audio files: 33
G2 patch files: 2

PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

this will entitle you to the electro-pulitzer award but.....wait a minute: WTF does Seraph the Boneless mean Question Shocked
cancel the nomination Twisted Evil

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elektro80
Site Admin


Joined: Mar 25, 2003
Posts: 21959
Location: Norway
Audio files: 14

PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

My god! Howard, where are those awards?? Shocked Very Happy
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Cyxeris



Joined: Oct 30, 2003
Posts: 1125
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I did that while at work today. Sometimes I find it quite difficult to deny my own impulses. Wink I hope nobody was insulted by the character replacements.

Cyx

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seraph
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Location: Firenze, Italy
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Cyx wrote:
Seraph's mum (perhaps the toughest lady in the village)

you psychic traveller
how did you know my "mum" is the toughest one Question
Actually you are quite right: she's a Mediterrean Viking Shocked

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Cyxeris



Joined: Oct 30, 2003
Posts: 1125
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Some of my favorites are...



Elektro80

The sun is up beyond the clouds - where it always is.


FREYA

But have you ever seen it? Think back...


Elektro80

Of course not... but... when I was a child.... I remember a dream.... it was as if the whole sky was blue...


FREYA

The sky WAS blue, Elektro80... once.


Elektro80 looks at her.


FREYA

The Old Stories tell of an age that would come such as this - when RIAA the Wolf would swallow the sun, and a Great Winter would settle upon the world. It was to be an axe age, a sword age, a storm age, when brother would turn against brother, and men would fight each other until the world would finally be destroyed.

Elektro80 looks out across the bleak and gloomy landscape and the black, boiling clouds in the sky.


Elektro80

(almost to himself)

Then... this is the Age of Creative Exploitation?


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KING Shawn Fanning (v/o)

Open up! I know you're in there!


Suddenly the note from Seraph's horn rings out across from the bay. Elektro80 rushes to the window and looks out to see what Seraph saw previously: a black ship approaching on the horizon.


Elektro80

Oh, no! Cary Sherman!

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Cyx

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elektro80
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Joined: Mar 25, 2003
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Oh my god! Shocked Cool
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seraph
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I am sure Cyx was inspired by the Lord of the Electro Ring
my character sounds a little like Gollum
Posted Image, might have been reduced in size. Click Image to view fullscreen.
but I am much more handsome Very Happy

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Cyxeris



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

OK, now, hold up. Let me state the fact that what lies above is simply a modification from the screenplay for "Erik the Viking," JUST in case this was unclear. Wink

Cyx

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

yes.. Erik The Viking... funny movie!

You will do the deerhunter next?? Or Nosferatu?

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Cyxeris



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Noting this bunch? Shit... how about The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or perhaps Spies Like us.

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Mosc

Done!? That was a static filled, triple scrambled microwave transmission between two soldiers talking in Mandarin Chinese.

Elektro80

Well, the Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically grouped twenty square digit key transposed in boostermenotic form of multiple nulls. .. I broke it with this.

Mosc

A drogens decoder ring, they put these things into cerial boxes for kids.

Elektro80

Yeah, I found it in a box of uh .. Lucky Charms

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Nothing Happens

General EGW, sir ... it's a collect call from Pakistan for Mr. Seraph. A Mr. Cyxeris. ... They said their contacts tried to kill them and they don't know what they should do.

EGW

And they told you this over a PUBLIC phone?

Nothing Happens

No sir, the AT&T operator told our operator.

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Elektro80

That missile is tipped with a with a 40 mega-ton fission-fusion nuclear warhead. ... For once I'm completely in agreement with my partner. I'm not going down there. Do you know what those things can do? Suck the paint off of your house and give your family a permanent orange afro
____________________________________________________________

Cyx

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

well.. reminds me of the 80s.. Eurythmics: "hot dreams are made of megatons"
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Ahh... we could do our own version of macbeth.. nah... that one is too obvious..


and carlo... do not suggest the kamasutra.. that one is for the swedes..!

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Cyxeris



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Seraph (to Cyxeris and Elektro80)

"You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!!!"

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 3:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Ahh... right ... the War Room? Not the sauna??
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I am lost Shocked where are we Question
My head is spinning and I feel like:
1 a : to grope for or handle something clumsily or aimlessly
b : to make awkward attempts to do or find something
c : to search by trial and error
d : BLUNDER
2 : to feel one's way or move awkwardly
3 a : to drop or juggle or fail to play cleanly a grounder
b : to lose hold of a football while handling or running with it

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 4:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Well.. you know... the lot will do?
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