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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:04 am Post subject:
Bad jokes Subject description: Read 'em and groan |
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I'll start this thread with one apropos for this venue.
How do ghosts, ghouls and zombies broadcast over the internet? On a screaming radio station! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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XCenter
Joined: Oct 01, 2005 Posts: 113 Location: Germany
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:33 am Post subject:
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Ghosts?? Or just strange auto-erotica from ... ah ... the "other" side?
_________________ --
How may I be of disservice?
---
Music for conscious listening @ http://www.fmdelight.de/ |
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Skrog Productions
Joined: Jan 07, 2009 Posts: 1196 Location: Scottish Borders
Audio files: 155
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:54 am Post subject:
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"if there is a steady pay check .....i'll believe anything you say"
Heheheheheheh
ZULE!!!!!! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 8:36 am Post subject:
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I wonder if he'll be in the new Ghostbusters movie I've heard about. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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XCenter
Joined: Oct 01, 2005 Posts: 113 Location: Germany
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:17 am Post subject:
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Yep. AFAIK the complete staff is on board except Rick Moranis. _________________ --
How may I be of disservice?
---
Music for conscious listening @ http://www.fmdelight.de/ |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2011 10:47 am Post subject:
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Nice! Too bad Moranis won't be in it. Maybe he's busy shrinking things.
Next one:
What does Santa say when someone cuts him off? Hey, watch it, assho-ho-hole! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:49 pm Post subject:
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What did the rat say after a tough exam? Man, I think I barely squeaked by.
Why do rodents make good employers? They believe in squeakal opportunity. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2011 8:17 am Post subject:
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Who was the world's most uninteresting physicist? Herman Boring. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:20 pm Post subject:
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What do Ewoks eat for dessert? Chocolate-chip Wookies.
What do you call someone who's a member of an unselfish faith? You-ish. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:25 pm Post subject:
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Girlfriend and I were baking cookies. She turned the oven down. I turned it back up. She said "if they burn, I'm going to tell everybody it's your fault".
I said, "I'm sure that's what Satan said to God, too". _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 9:27 am Post subject:
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What do you get when you cross a shelled amphibian with a geek? A nerdle. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:10 am Post subject:
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What do you call an angry young lamb? Fuck ewe! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:33 am Post subject:
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What do you call a restaurant where people play African drums? Djenny's. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:17 am Post subject:
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Where does a tattle-tale in trouble find himself? In a bad snitchuation. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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emdot_ambient
Joined: Nov 22, 2009 Posts: 667 Location: Frederick, MD
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:25 pm Post subject:
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Some very old ones:
Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?
A: DUNG! (courtesy of Monty Python)
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Don't they make a machine for that nowadays?
Q: What's the difference between a drum box and a drummer?
A: You only have to punch the beat into a drum box once.
Q: What book of the Bible do Christian surfers like most?
A: Duuuuude-eronomy (came up with that one myself...don't tell anybody!) _________________ Looking for a certain ratio since 1978 |
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v-un-v
Janitor
Joined: May 16, 2005 Posts: 8933 Location: Birmingham, England, UK
Audio files: 11
G2 patch files: 1
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:00 pm Post subject:
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"I phoned the swine-flu hotline the other day, but all I got was crackling."
_________________ ACHTUNG!
ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS!
DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKSEN.
IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.
ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN. |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:56 pm Post subject:
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v-un-v wrote: | "I phoned the swine-flu hotline the other day, but all I got was crackling."
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Now that's just wrong! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:57 pm Post subject:
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emdot_ambient wrote: |
Q: What book of the Bible do Christian surfers like most?
A: Duuuuude-eronomy (came up with that one myself...don't tell anybody!) |
I think the same surfers subscribe to the Big Bong theory. _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:09 pm Post subject:
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What are cannibals' favorite way to make fun of celebrities? A roast! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:44 am Post subject:
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What do you call someone who turns green and hides when he gets angry? The Incredible Skulk! _________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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elektro80
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 25, 2003 Posts: 21959 Location: Norway
Audio files: 14
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emdot_ambient
Joined: Nov 22, 2009 Posts: 667 Location: Frederick, MD
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emdot_ambient
Joined: Nov 22, 2009 Posts: 667 Location: Frederick, MD
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:13 am Post subject:
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Three economists go deer hunting. They spot a deer and two of them squeeze off shots at the same moment. The first economist's shot kicks up dirt 10 feet in front of the deer. The second economist's shot hits a tree 10 feet behind the deer. The thrid economist yells "We got him!" _________________ Looking for a certain ratio since 1978 |
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audiodef
Joined: Sep 05, 2011 Posts: 726 Location: LFO1
Audio files: 53
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:14 am Post subject:
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emdot_ambient wrote: | Three economists go deer hunting. They spot a deer and two of them squeeze off shots at the same moment. The first economist's shot kicks up dirt 10 feet in front of the deer. The second economist's shot hits a tree 10 feet behind the deer. The thrid economist yells "We got him!" |
_________________ There's an invisible radio gnome playing a gong from a flying teapot - don't miss out! |
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Banjo
Joined: Sep 27, 2009 Posts: 82 Location: Lawrence County, Mo. USA
Audio files: 2
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:06 pm Post subject:
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A group of cannibals go to see the witch doctor because of stomach pains after eating the new village missionary. The witch doctor asked them what they had eaten, to which they informed him of their last meal. "How did you cook him?" the witch doctor asked. "We boiled him of course", the witch doctor then replied, "that was your problem, he was a friar!". |
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