G2 synth jokes

Tim Kleinert

When hiking, ones mind likes to wander. Mine came up with some G2 synth jokes today...

seraph · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:02 am Post subject:

your talent is wasted as a musician, you should be a comedian Twisted Evil

elektro80 · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:03 am Post subject:

This is art!

Tim Kleinert · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:24 am Post subject:

...I made up some more...

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 1:28 am Post subject:

I'll never be able to use a band rejection filter again without smiling!!

Q: Why is it that additive synthesist hate cold winters?
A: They're afraid of sinusitis

seraph · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:58 am Post subject:

Antimon · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:28 am Post subject:

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:32 am Post subject:

Why is it that airborne navy pilots dislike FM with high modulation indices?

It makes the carrier disappear

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:44 am Post subject:

The Feds have busted a group of Belgian anti-american terrorists who were tampering with the G2's high-pass filters. They tried to get rid of DC once and for all.

(any Belgians out here with a good cheese-related G2 joke about the Dutch Twisted Evil

?)

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:53 am Post subject:

Avant-garde synth-tech tip #1: push the envelope

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:03 am Post subject:

Newsflash: there's been a flurry of new right-wing Christian E-M members recently. They heard something about a free new conversion tool.

Tim Kleinert · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:19 am Post subject:

Go, Fozzie, go!

Tim Kleinert · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:31 am Post subject:

Q: Why are ringmodulators good chartered accountants?
A: They are very apt at producing sums and differences.

Q: Why do allpass filters see no point in taking exams?
(...)

Q: Why doesn't Timmy ever touch the frequency knobs of his oscillator modules?
A: He still hopes for them to get some interest from the fixed frequency bank.

Q: Why doesn't Timmy use his spring reverb?
A: "It's summer, mom!"

Q: Why did the VCA take up psychotherapy, meditation and diet?
A: It wants to become a balanced modulator.

Unstable oscillator: "Bla bla bla bla bla.... You get my drift?"
Tempco resistor: "Yeah, I'm warming to it."

Q: Why is "Moon River" the favourite song of an aging ARP Oddyssey?
A: "Two drifters..."

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 9:45 am Post subject:

I really should be working, but I can't concentrate after you started this tread, Tim!!

Few last ones before going home (beware of higher levels of cheesiness):

A group of surfers petitioned Clavia for a water-proof G2, for optimal waveshaping.

What have public transport, Clavia OS updates and the G2 in common? (I really don't need to finish this one)

Edit: deleted a really daft one

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 11:14 am Post subject:

In a way the Titanic was more modern than the people thought. It was syncable after all.

Oscillators never grow up, they just keep going through phases.

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 11:57 am Post subject:

The gospel for DJ's that have some issues with their pronunciation: "Go and make decibels"

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 3:58 pm Post subject:

What's similar when you want to get something done on your G2 or when you're a young attractive journalist looking for your big break while working in an environment that's dominated by the opposite sex?

You have to get intimate with the editor.

Fozzie · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:24 pm Post subject:

How does one recognize patches from an elite-synthesist wannabe on the G2?
Excessive use of the status module.

Just before the release of 1.40 one of the Clavia developers was advized to increase his Ritalin dosage. He tried to add an ADHD envelope.

What G2 modules are abused in politics?
The flipflop and logic inverter (especially when unnoticed)
The wah-wah
The value switch (regarding politician's private and public life)
Any ....gate

SynthLord · Joined: Sep 27, 2005 Posts: 49 Location: Tampa, FL

... I think I'm hemorrhaging ... angry

blue hell · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:34 pm Post subject:

(tim, I assumed, well, anyway, its gone)

dasz · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:43 pm Post subject:

R2G2 (updated) engine - no knobs

[edit - I just re-uploaded the r2g2.jpg to test howard's fix for image scaling. thanks for fixing it!]

r2g2.jpg

Description:

R2G2 - 3 inputs on the front (the xlr input is on the back), and 4 slots (see 4 red panels)

Filesize:

103.53 KB

Viewed:

13191 Time(s)

Tim Kleinert · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 4:57 pm Post subject:

Go, Fozzie, go!

Man, I'm getting cramps...

here's some more (G2 specific):

Q: What's the favourite module of automobilists navigating Arizona freeways?
A: The zero crossing counter.

Q: What's the favourite module of distracted postmen?
A: The envelope follower.

Q: What's the favourite module of timid asset investors?
A: The "Constant Value" module.

Q: Why is the timid DJ reluctant to mix?
A: He's frightened of the cross fader.

Q: Why do the Random Trigger modules like to gather at Moscovite casinos?
A: They like to play russian roulette.

Q: Why are lenient kidnappers especially fond of the "Envelope AD/R" module?
A: Because of the "attack-release" mode.

elektro80 · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 5:40 pm Post subject:

This is heating up! What about a batch of G2 jokes that will take out an embassy or two? Shocked

And no danish posters please. Denmark is running out of flammables.

dasz · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 7:49 pm Post subject:

mosc, what's with th e image warping (resizing to larger than the original)? This image should be a LOT smaller (that's how it looks in photoshop and windows explorer)...

lemme know if I need to adjust things.
/Dasz

elektro80 · Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 7:52 pm Post subject:

Keep it as it is. THis is a bug and Howard will sort this out very soon I am sure. The thumber/scaler script is a bit buggy.